Pregnancy

[SophL123]

I am currently 15 weeks 2 days pregnant seen several healthy scans with strong heart beat and good fetal movement also heard heart beat. Due to a recent miscarriage before this pregnancy I can’t settle to the fact that the same thing could happen again every time I feel different or don’t feel somthing same as the day before I worry any advice would be greatfull x

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. How far along were you?

Sorry you're feeling this way OP. It is a mind game a lot of the time 😔I had 2 miscarriages before I had DS in 2021, and I felt exactly the same as you.

The 1st trimester was hard and once I hit the 2nd trimester I thought I'd feel better, but for a few weeks I actually felt even worse. I think this was because I lost the 1st Tri symptoms that I'd taken comfort in having despite it not being very nice, had a lot more energy but still couldn't yet feel baby move and no bump yet. So I felt like I wasn't pregnant anymore. Once I started feeling him move at 20 weeks, it completely changed and I really enjoyed the second half of that pregnancy.

During the interim though (13-20 weeks) I really did struggle and spoke to my midwife and I self referred to Healthy Minds and had CBT because I felt like I was going mad. I dont think it helped that it was COVID, so I was working from home and felt really isolated with very little distraction available.

It is hard and there is no off switch unfortunately. But I would recommend if you feel like you're struggling to cope with it, to speak to your midwife and ask for some help. They will typically refer you for talking therapies to begin with. I put it off for ages because I was worried it would 'flag' me but there is no shame in it at all, your midwife won't treat you any differently and they would much rather you spoke up to get the help you need before it escalates too much.

I hope things start to improve for you and wish you all the best in your pregnancy x

Thankyou for the reply yes it is very hard and I feel like I’m going crazy. Last two days I’ve had some cramping and back pain on and off and now that’s got me worrying too. I see my midwife on Monday so I’m going to speak to her then and go from there. It’s really making me feel awful every time I go to the toilet i feel such Dread and hesitation about wiping as cramps feel like period pains xx

Pregnancy is such a mind game, our bodies go through so many changes and we can suddenly feel very 'alien' in our skin.

If it's any reassurance, I'm 14 weeks with baby #2 and I'm also having cramps and on/off pains. I do remember this when pregnant with DS and I think that fuelled my anxiety more, but it was all a normal part of pregnancy. As your uterus is now growing up and out of your pelvis, there's lots of weird growing and stretching pains at this point.

That's good you're seeing your midwife soon, I'm sure she can help you figure out a plan to make you feel more at ease and hopefully begin to enjoy your pregnancy. It really is frustrating/upsetting that losses take so much away from future pregnancies, but you've got this xx