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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy Anxiety/guilt

2 replies

OnMyJourney · 15/08/2023 00:39

Hi,
I was just wondering if anyone has felt the way I feel, im currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first baby, I am excited and every week is an amazing milestone for us, when we found out she was a girl I was excited because im a girly girl but I just feel like I've struggled to properly connect with my pregnancy, it took me and my partner 3 years to conceive and we had 5 miscarriages along the way, I have PCOS so it was really tough. Back in December last year I told my partner I was done trying, it was crushing me, but to our surprise we found out we were pregnant early March, I wasn't excited, I was terrified, I feel like I missed out on that joyous moment where you find out you're pregnant and excited. I took tests for weeks because I just didn't believe it, I told my partner 2 days after the first test and I told my SIL about 2 weeks after I took the tests (we're really close and she's had the same issues as me we bonded over our infertility lol) but I didn't tell anyone else until I was 16 weeks because I was terrified, I didn't tell work, my parents, nobody. I was excited but deep down sometimes I don't even feel pregnant, she moves and kicks and I absolutely love it but I haven't got a huge bump and at the moment I'm still working which is exhausting, I just feel so bad because I struggle to believe I'm pregnant and I keep having these thoughts that I won't get to bring my baby girl home. I feel awful that my pregnancy with my first isn't the exciting time it should be, I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, it's hard to explain, has anyone else ever felt this way? Im not looking for a suggestion to speak to a therapist or get counselling or speak to my partner about it, I've been very open with my midwife and partner with it, I just wanted to understand if this is normal and anyone else has felt like this? I already love her so much and can't wait until she's here

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 15/08/2023 07:47

Your feelings are normal and more common than you think. I didn’t believe my positive pregnancy test either and felt sure it was ectopic. It is not always a joyous occasion like it is in the movies, for everyone.

I still didn’t believe it after I had a safe delivery and remember walking down the street with a pram, not believing what wAs happening.

But none of that stopped me forming a wonderful bond with my dd, who I am completely in love with. All the best to you and your new little family. You don’t have to feel any certain way. Just take care of yourself.

Ttcmumma · 15/08/2023 16:07

You're just protecting yourself Hun. You're so worried that you won't be lucky enough to bring your baby girl home that you're naturally protecting yourself from bonding too much incase you have her taken away from you anyhow. Which is perfectly understandable considering what you've been through! I've only had one loss at 14 weeks but now I'm pregnant again I can't believe I'll bring a baby home at the end of it because you just don't know what horrid things could happen! What I remind myself is I am pregnant now, I get this time with the baby and all I can do is enjoy the baby while they're here with me and hope with all I have that I'll get to hold them in my arms eventually. You've got this mama, pregnancy is hard enough with all the emotions let alone the experiences you've been through xx

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