Experience with NCT classes?

[KellyJellyfish]

Anyone done these? Did you find them useful or not? I think I’d like to sign up but my partner thinks they won’t tell us anything we can’t find out ourselves online (personally I think he just doesn’t want to give up a month of Thursday evenings),

they’re £300 so I’d only book if really worth it, what’s your experience been?

I was in London and went with Bump to Baby, which was fabulous. I met like-minded people (i.e. people who thought the local NCT coordinator seemed a bit snooty) and it was judgement-free. Also quite fun, actually. Not everyone gelled/ wanted friends as much as I did, but six of us are still in touch, six years later. It was cheaper than NCT and actually was worth it for me as I find it intimidating to make proper friends without a bit of structure!
Ultimately your DH is right, you can find everything you need to know online, but it's not the only reason to go!

This is what I like the idea of, my mum kept in touch with 2 ladies from her group, over 30 years later we still see each other every year (one is my godmother) and I consider their kids my cousins, I’d love to have something similar.

However I’m also conscious of a warning a friend who gave birth 2 years ago gave me - she said at a time she was feeling most vulnerable (covid lockdown, baby blues, isolated, first child and doubt/guilt) the cliquey nature of the NCT whatsapp group made her fee significantly worse and more guilty for ‘failing’ to be the natural type/insta mums they claimed to be.

I wish there was a way to screen groups, or they advertised who rand the course who those types of mums would be drawn to their groups and types like me would be drawn to the midwife run groups. Sadly the NCT website doesn’t give any info on the local courses, only the dates and address.

I found NCT classes a waste of time, a middle class speed dating for parents to be. I didn't make any friends there but if you are in your thirties or 40s and a middle class, married straight woman you will be right at home.

I found the NHS classes far more informative.

However, the breastfeeding NCT helpline was amazing and the NCT sales were very useful for baby items for 6months and under.

In hindsight, I wouldn't have attended NCT classes and stuck to NHS classes. There is so much info online you could even not bother with either classes and just meet mums at baby groups later.

I went into the course knowing it was focused on natural birth but wanting to make friends and had my fingers crossed I would meet some that I would form a genuine friendship with.

My initial perception was correct - it was a very idealistic view of natural birthing where we were scared into the prospect of having interventions - whereas in reality, the medics do what they can to keep mum and baby safe - and formula feeding was not even mentioned just in case they happened to give you an 'easy' way to stop breastfeeding 🙄. This aspect was load of nonsense and the course given to me by the hospital was so much better.

However, I lucked out on the friendship group and it was worth every last penny for it. We are now 7 years on and those ladies are my closest friends - we have gone on to have more children, experienced all the highs and lows of parenting together and we are one of those groups that go away together regularly. The children are like cousins and husbands go out together too. Going through parenthood would not have been the same without them. The group that met up in the same hall two months after us did not stay in touch past 2 years so it is luck

The NCT mums in my group were so not natural mums, they had planned C sections, went to work very quickly and had nannies and cleaners. I was the only one breastfeeding and had a natural birth, stayed at home. They were all older and richer. If that's your demographic you'll be fine!

My local trust offers them for free.
i attended 2 different classes. I found them really beneficial and enjoyed them ,so did my partner.
i am expecting my first baby so it was nice to talk to other parents and parents to be too

@KellyJellyfish you can ask them who is signed upto the group before joining. They obviously won't give specific details but they will tell you if they live near you/are similar age or not. I asked those questions before signing up

@KellyJellyfish sorry, I didn't explain that very well. Ours wasn't NCT but a private/independent course run by midwives. If you type in to Google 'midwife led antenatal classes' you might be able to find something similar in your area?

Another thing is that people tend to move around a lot than 30 years ago when your mum made friends. I'm in London and 70% of the people in my social circle moved areas sometimes countries. I think jobs and friendships are more transient these days than in your mum's time so I'd lower my expectations. I made zero friends in NCT because it was cliquey and I didn't fit with the group.

I had a very different experience of NCT to the usual "natural birth and friends for life" stories told on threads about NCT classes.

I learnt a lot, the antenatal stuff was really helpful. We did talk about pain relief in a practical (rather than negative) way. We did a c section simulation - it was really useful to know why there were so many people in the room a few weeks later when I had an emcs.

Our group were great for socialising for the first 6-9 months or of our babies lives, but I felt quite arm's reach from them once everyone started going back to work. Of 8 couples, 4 lived in the sane village and saw each other a lot more often, a lot more easily than the rest - of the rest, other than me, they already knew, albeit indirectly, one of the central core of couples in the sane village. Once the babies were a bit older, and not the only thing we had to think about, it transpired that actually, they were all some of us had it common. I drifted away from the group due to geography and the fact that they were all significantly better off than us - weekends away that cost our monthly mortgage payments, holidays to Italy, ordinary lunches at places we'd consider a treat. Private swimming lessons in their parents' pool.

The person I actually have stayed friends with is the trainee leader who shadowed our classes.

I found my tribe in village hall mum&tot groups, local pool swimming classes and Surestart.

So - pain relief and c section education ✅
Long term friends - not really ❌

Yes, you can’t cover everything but I felt they could spend less time on some of the natural pain relief techniques (which nobody I know used).

Indeed. Yes.

Does anyone need to be told they can use aromatherapy or listen to their favourite music or get gentle foot rubs from their husband? No. Will the above help if/when shit truly hits the fan during childbirth? No. (Anyway, my husband already knows how to give gentle foot rubs.)

I also felt a bit like @SequinCola because I tried quite hard to reach out for meetups within the group but they dwindled to nothing very quickly as people naturally gravitated back towards their pre-existing friends and family who had kids of a similar age (I have no friends with kids and no local family). So I actually felt worse in some ways, like a girl at school struggling to make friends.

I did try my best to keep in touch with one but she never got in contact again after coming to my dd's 2yo birthday (no reciprocal invitation).

We did a c section simulation

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads I truly wish I'd had this. It sounds like your local rep was good

We were told stuff like what to do if you end up giving birth really quickly at home. And practical stuff about when/how to wash the baby, how to avoid having your baby boy piss in your face, etc.

I really recommend NCT classes. My course leader was great and did a good job at teaching us noobs about the bodily processes, pros and cons ofpain relief available, different types of interventions we might be offered, caring for the baby etc etc. We didn't do any hand massages that I can remember! There were some optional topics we got to select as a group too.

I don't feel like natural birth with no pain relief and interventions was billed as the only goal, I feel like I was adequately prepared to understand that there were a number of scenarios and choices that may happen. It was great to be able to ask questions or go deeper into some areas, which you can't do when just reading a book or website.

I was lucky that we had a small group of mums that clicked well. We spent a lot of time together on mat leave and spoke a lot over whatsapp. We don't see each other as much now most are back at work and the kids are in school but we do meet occasionally and still chat through stuff thats new to us, like where to get uniform or kids activities.

A very positive experience for me all round and worth the money.

I'm glad I signed up even though I've only made 1 long lasting friend from our group of 8. Maternity leave is lonely enough so even though we had nothing in common but our babies it was great to have an excuse to get out of the house and chat to people who were in the middle of it all too in those early months. We did join lots of baby groups but found that everyone went with mum friends already so they were all quite cliquey. The way I look at it, £300 is a small price to pay for the good friend I got out of it - and you might be lucky and get along with more of them!

Mine was brilliant, I really loved mine and it did help us hugely.

It did challenge my thinking which was very positive and I met nice people that really supported me in the first year.

We lost touch gradually once back at work but I’d definitely do it again.

I loved ours and I'm still friends with most of them 10 years on. Our teacher was a bit bonkers but did have some good info.

I think, like other posters have said, that it depends on the course leader. Ours tried to be very neutral in the different options for birth, feeding...and just limit herself to explain each of them. The course leader also gave us tips for the hospital as we were all using the same one, like were the cafeteria was, how were the rooms and things like that.
During maternity leave, having 7 more women that were going through the same was amazing and we would have a weekly meeting (not always all of us were able to make it) and we try to have a mum's dinner every 6 weeks or so. This has been beneficial for me as I knew no one in the area and although I joined baby groups I didn't really managed to make any friends/acquaintances from there.
We also had a joint birthday picnic to celebrate we've all made it through the 1st year.

I run NCT classes. One of the first things I tell the group is that most of them won't have a straightforward labour. That's not because straightforward labour is biologically hard to achieve but in the NHS at the moment, for first timers, it very much is. You can ask to be put in touch for the leader before you confirm and pay and get a sense of their classes. There is a list of topics we have to cover and intervention, pain relief and caesarean are on it.

Because when you’re pregnant every single person tells you their birth horror story and I don’t think it’s helpful to be pessimistic in telling you that you might get readmitted to hospital. How would that help you prepare for birth?

sure, telling women that statistically 30% have sections, 10% get induced etc - that’s all helpful. But telling women things that they have a tiny tiny chance of experiencing but that might terrify them isn’t helpful at all

Didn't get on with the people, no knowledge I couldn't have easily gotten myself and there was a fairly heavy push towards medicalised birth, epidural etc. I found them a total waste.

Mine was great, I'd do it again for second baby just to have the company during maternity leave. We're all very different people with different parenting styles, but I found it invaluable having group of women going through exactly the same thing in the early days.

I went to dozens of different baby classes and never got further than minor chit chat with anyone. Without my NCT group, maternity leave would have been pretty lonely.

Our babies are nearly two now and we still keep in touch. Obviously things changed when most of them went back to work, but we still meet fairly often as families and just mums.

I was all set to book but then got so engaged about them choosing to run the weekend course on an organic cheese farm in the middle of nowhere with no public transport, rather than in any of the many easily-accessible bookable spaces in the actual city I lived in, that I decided against. Can't say that I felt I missed out on much.

Our course leader was wonderful (remote due to covid) but I didn't learn anything (I'm a reader). However, I still talk to the other mums I met, daily. They are so wonderful, not judgmental at all and a great support.

So yes, you're buying friends but 100% recommend!

On balance, not worth the money for me.

The classes were well structured and informative. Our tutor was great and non judgemental. I think my husband benefitted more from the intel and felt more confident supporting me through the birth.

But, my group were absolute horrors: judgemental, smug, competitive arseholes. It really is like Russian roulette in terms of group cohesion. I ditched them pretty quickly as a consequence. If you get a good bunch, I'm sure that they could potentially provide great support.