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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Depression and anxiety

4 replies

Abee89 · 06/08/2023 13:46

Hi, I’ve never written on a forum before but at quite a loss. I found out I was pregnant around 6 weeks ago, I was told a while ago that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant naturally. The pregnancy was unplanned and I was quite shocked although initially happy. The same week I found out I was pregnant I found out my partner had been cheating on me and he broke up with me. After the shock wore off I have felt crippling anxiety.
I first suffered with anxiety and depression when I was 24 and didn’t know what it was at the time, I was diagnosed and put on medication that I decided not to take. I am 34 now and have for the most part managed my anxiety and depression fairly well without medication. Up until now, I wake up with crippling anxiety not sure what to do. I never thought I would contemplate a termination at this age especially after being told I probably couldn’t have children naturally but I’m not sure I can go on feeling like this.

I tried to go to my doctor for help. He said he can refer me for talk therapy but it would take 6 months or he advised an abortion.

I tired to refer myself to the hospital to the perinatal mental health team I was told they would contact me in 5 days, after 2 weeks I had not heard anything, I ended up having to complain to the patients liaison team and they said someone would get in contact with me - it’s been 5 weeks now.

then I tried to go private had a go appointment and he said he would refer me for a psychologist appointment, two weeks went past and I heard nothing, I contacted them they told me the gp had not put through the referral and I would have to have another gp appointment.

i even contacted private clinics that deal with perinatal issues but was told they were full with clients and couldn’t see me.

I feel like I’ve tried everything to get help and i keep getting a door slammed in my face.

I do not have any family nor a wide group of friends, the father has been quite horrible saying he hopes I have a miscarriage and other things.

I don’t want to have a termination but feel like I’m loosing my marbles, I just wanted to know if anyone else suffered with anxiety and depression in pregnancy and managed to make it though?

my apologies for the long post and I’m sorry if this offends anyone I know there are people out there who go through a lot to even get pregnant and I feel so guilty I feel this way

OP posts:
Silvergreenblue · 06/08/2023 14:03

Yes. Can be common to suffer in pregnancy especially after you've suffered before. Should have you on meds, they helped me a lot. They had to be increased after the baby arrived. All those changing hormones!

Abee89 · 06/08/2023 14:15

Hi, thank you for replying, how long did it take for the meds to help you after you started on them?

OP posts:
Silvergreenblue · 06/08/2023 15:36

About a month. With the dosage increase not as long, 2-3 weeks later I was a lot better.

Whataretheodds · 06/08/2023 17:13

Try speaking to Marie Stopes or BPAS. They offer counselling for women considering their choices (including abortion, but it's non-judgmental). I think they're pretty busy too but worth a go.

Meanwhile, not a silver bullet but what are the coping strategies that help?

Are you getting daylight on your face every morning? Regular exercise? Eating nutritious food? Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life? Journalling? Not substitutes for medication or talking therapy but little habits to be aware of. I've been there, it's hard.

Take care of yourself. Good luck.

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