Last day of work and nobody even acknowledged it

[mulberry19]

I had my last day at work (I work from home currently but usually am based in office) before my maternity leave and spent the day organising my work to handover etc. I had a meeting scheduled for 16:30 on teams but when I dialled in I was the only one there and my managers all but one were offline. This isn't too unusual but thought as it was my last day someone would be there. I waited for a bit but eventually logged off assuming they were busy. I sent my 'goodbye' email and prepared some work, list and instructions and spreadsheets to be done for work that was ongoing. I also mentioned that for the next 2 weeks I would be checking my work phone and emails in case any customers tried to contact me. I hadn't been asked to do this but wanted to be helpful. It's now been 3 days and I haven't received so much as a reply to my email or a text saying thank you, good luck etc. The only communication was an email saying my scheduled meetings had been cancelled by my Boss. This has really hurt my feelings as I've been in my current job for 15 years and worked with these current managers for 13 of those. We've always had an excellent working relationship and I know I am well thought of. Am I being silly to expect anything? Most people I know get cards/flowers/gifts and I didn't even get an email. I'm so tempted to say something but don't know if it's a waste of my energy but it's left a really sour taste in my mouth. This is my first baby and my team are all aware that I've had fertility issues and previous miscarriages so it really does seem heartless to me and makes me not want to go back. What would you do?

This just sounds beyond weird to me OP. I’m not surprised you feel like you I do. Sorry I don’t have any suggestions.

Ah, that really sucks. I'm sorry. I can't really explain away why they wouldn't have been in contact to just say "good luck", but perhaps they're waiting for baby to arrive to make a fuss? I was WFH before I went on mat leave and didn't really have many people say goodbye, but after the baby was born, I got a huge bunch of flowers, card and cash sent to my home. Perhaps they're just waiting?

Depends on your workplace. Probably not too unusual for someone wfh you're out of sight so easy to put to one side and forget.

When OH retired, nothing, not even a mention from his colleagues. (Did meet up with some of the people who left before him for a meal and still keeps in touch with them)

Seems like the days of send offs are over in many areas.

Do you have any colleagues you are close to you can ask about it? I would have a chat with a co-worker to say you found it a bit strange and were sad about it. They may be able to fill you in on it.

I think I can beat that, OP!
I was eight months pregnant, with an enormous bump, when I did my last day as an anaesthetist before starting maternity leave.
Not only did nobody offer a card or good wishes, but the surgeon overran his operating list until 7 at night, walked out to the car park with me and drove off, leaving me exhausted after being on my feet all day, to try and scrape the ice off my car in the dark, in subzero temperatures, when I could hardly reach the screen over my bump.
That was over 30 years ago - I had hoped things had improved, but your story suggests they haven’t!

I had a similar experience recently. I WFH full time now and I think it’s a symptom of that. My boss has arranged an e-card and donation thing which was nice, but I didn’t get it until a week later and not many had signed it. No one said bye to me on my last day except my direct manager.

The first time I went on maternity leave I was office based and everyone made a big fuss which was lovely. Very different times now I suppose.

Time of year also doesn’t help, lots of people will be on holiday.

So I guess I’m saying I’d be disappointed too but then again, you won’t care soon when your baby is here! I wouldn’t do anything about it for now. Maybe see what their reaction is like when you confirm safe arrival of baby?

This is another WFH consequence. My friend (well thought of and popular) retired last week. Zilch on her last day.
She tried to put a brave face on it, but said it was an awful anticlimax, sitting at home and just closing her laptop.

Gosh that sounds awful of them especially as you've been there so long and have tried to do a great handover and be helpful by the sounds of things. I'd be a bit "well fuck them" and just drop stuff and run! Don't give them a minutes more thought! I think the problem is with them and not you tbh - I can't imagine anyone leaving in my team and me not sending an email round saying "Good bye and good luck etc". Do something special for yourself and sod them I say!

That’s totally understandable to feel as you do. Just wondering, is it mostly men in your workplace? I only as as I know a lot of men don’t think about that sort of thing, a lot of cards/gifts for maternity leave are organised by women, I think men don’t necessarily think about it. May be more that it just hadn’t occurred to them then a deliberate snub

It is mostly men but my most senior manager is female. Also I wasn't even bothered about a card or gifts more just literally anyone saying something to me about the fact it was my last day 😞

When I started my working life nearly 40 years ago there was more of a culture of work evenings out and send offs. Wfh and covid pretty much put an end to that. However, not even responding to your email is rubbish.
please don’t take it personally and just enjoy this precious time.

Have other people had maternity leave recently? If so, what happened on their last days?

I would guess it's not been seen as leaving - as you will be back in a few months - and the card & gift will be given when baby arrives.

On my last day at work, (a school) I locked up after everyone else had gone home many hours before. That was nice.

At my workplace we just send gifts once baby is actually here. We don’t make a fuss of the last day prior to maternity leave - the staff member is coming back. Perhaps your colleagues are the same?

Precisely why work should not be your life. Do not check your phone, turn it off and enjoy your msg leave.

A few years back, my last day before maternity leave, I went to the gp on my way in. Arrived at work a bit late, and was asked to go down to the local pub to chat with the md. Thought it was a bit strange, but I did. Once there, I was told to go back to the office and clear my desk and leave. So I did, with someone watching over me, in case I nicked a stapler, I suppose.

My p45 arrived in the post the next day, and I had to go through a tribunal to receive outstanding salary.

Was a bit of a shit day. I'd worked there a long time, but I felt better when I heard they'd gone into administration a few months later.

Work is a means to an end. We're all replaceable.

I’m not surprised you’re feeling sad.

I'm really sorry, you're totally justified in being upset by that. Hopefully they will make a fuss when baby arrives but they should still have said goodbye on your last day and done something to mark it.

Sadly I think it’s the WFH culture.

Recently, a staff member left for a new role. V popular, nice, friendly, always went over and above at work. She sent her final email to say goodbye. I dropped her a text later that evening (I had her number as a lot of us swapped numbers over the covid period to keep in touch) to wish her well etc. Exchanged a few messages and she mentioned that I was the only person to acknowledge her leaving and she was a bit sad about it. I was so surprised to hear that.

It is rubbish that people didn’t acknowledge your last day. What has happened to previous employees who have gone on maternity?

I wouldn’t do anything and I certainly wouldn’t bring it up with anyone that would be cringe. Like others have said they are probably waiting until baby comes to send a gift. Just relax, enjoy your maternity leave and don’t give work a second thought!

I ended up off unwell at the end of my pregnancy and didn’t receive a text, card, gift or anything from anyone at work. I also went in to work a few days after getting married and it wasn’t at all acknowledged 😬 It made me very quickly realise (as harsh as it sounds), how much home is your real life. No one at work actually cares. You could drop dead and they’d spend 5 minutes saying how it was sad then move on with their lives. You shouldn’t be giving up your own time to help them out when they make that little effort. Sorry this all sounds so harsh but I think having a baby really puts things into perspective with work

When someone shows you who they are listen. I’m sorry this happened to you.

These people you have spent considerable time working with don’t consider you in the same way you consider them. So, adjust your closeness with them. I’d pull back a lot when returning to work. Do you job, no more or less.

Personally I’d be using my leave to think about my career and evaluate if this workplace is the right environment for you to achieve your goals.

I'm sorry OP, this is crap.

I always take leave on my birthday but last year I ruptured my ligaments two weeks before it. As I was on crutches with my ankle the size of a football without any prospect to be magically cured until my birthday, I decided that I might as well be working on the day to not waste leave and asked my manager to cancel it. Not only I had an online meeting with her and other two team members on the day but none of them even wished me happy birthday.

Don't be so upset OP. Like a PP said it above, work is a means to and end and we're all replaceable at the end, don't take it personally. Wishing all the best with the birth!

I couldn't believe reading this, especially with you being there and working with them so long and being liked.
@Babdoc that sounds awful and really thoughtless.

Was like this when I went on maternity leave too. Unfortunately it only got worse when I returned to work.

My manager barely checked in with me during maternity leave, I started back to find a whole new team of people who had no clue who I was and hadn't been told I was returning. I returned in February and still haven't had a meeting with my manager 😕. He's refused to allow me to catch up on the training I missed and has said I'm not doing enough work (despite me having a more difficult caseload than my colleagues). It's absolutely shit and I'm close to breaking point.

I absolutely hate working there now - it's my 20th year there and suddenly I'm not good enough.
I spoke with someone much higher up who said she had exactly the same happen to her 15yrs ago and was incredibly disappointed to hear that the same shit is still going on.