gender

[ihavequestions03]

hi guys i feel really worried that when i have my gender scan soon it is not going to be what I'm hoping for.
my partner wants his family to do us a gender reveal but I'm scared of looking disappointed or ungrateful Infront of so many people.

any advice appreciated

Do you mean your 20 week scan? If so it’s an anomaly scan not a gender scan It’s just my opinion but I do think there’s too much emphasis put on finding out the gender with girls being viewed as the jackpot and boys the runner up prize.

OP the main thing at your 20 week scan is to make sure that everything is ok with baby. You might have a preference, and it’s ok to have a preference, but try and prepare yourself for finding out you might not be getting your preference.

A boy doesn’t mean all dinosaurs, cars and rough play and a girl doesn’t mean pink, ballet and dolls either. My friend has a much longed for daughter who is 6 and will not dress up, lives in shorts, hates dresses and all her friends are boys atm

Good luck!!

It's not a 'gender scan', its a scan to check the health of the baby.

You can ask the SEX of the baby if you want to know but they dont automatically tell you.

This

thanks for the help

If I had an opinion on which sex I'd rather, I'd rather know at the scan stage rather than the giving birth stage. I really wouldn't want to be disappointed then!

I assume you want a girl? Seems to be the case usually, sadly! Not sure of advice but just try to prepare yourself for both scenarios. Realise there's a very good chance it'll be the sex you'd rather not have and try to come to terms with it in advance. Accept that this baby will be 50% you and you will adore it no matter what genitals it has.
Honestly I have one of each and neither is better than the other! They are both equally loved. Don't buy in to the stereotyped nonsense. My girl is sporty, loud and boisterous. My boy is quiet, thoughtful and sensitive. Also my boy is much more like me than my daughter!

Exactly as @arethereanyleftatall said - I had a preference (yes I know it's irrational but I did) and therefore found out because I knew I would never forgive myself if I was disappointed even for a second after the birth.

My family also wanted a reveal (mainly driven by older children/young teens in the extended but close family) - I said I was absolutely happy to do one for them but they could get lost if they thought I was finding out as a surprise!

If you want to know just get them to tell you in the scan and either tell people you will do a surprise reveal for them afterwards, or just don't tell them you know and act surprised!

Don't have a public gender reveal if you're going to react badly to not getting what you want. Find out privately and come to terms with it before your baby is here, you will love them just the same either way once they're here in your arms.

If it’s the 20 week scan then just be aware they will just tell you at the scan. If it’s a private one then they can write it down but if you’re worried about disappointment then I’d find out with just you and your partner, come to terms with it and then tell others.

for what it’s worth I think it’s quite common even if not spoken about a lot. I had two girls I was hoping my third and definitely last would be a boy. It is another girl, I focused on lovely girl names, picked out some nice clothes and honestly now if they told me they’d got I wrong and it’s actually a boy I’d be quite disappointed as I’ve bonded with that little girl. Just be kind to yourself, it’s ok to feel some disappointment if you’ve pictured your baby a certain way, but it doesn’t mean you will love your baby any less.

Why are people assuming OP wants a girl? What have I missed?! Do people really want girls over boys these days?

How can anyone be disappointed or let disappointment cross their minds when it comes to their baby.
Thank your lucky stars that your pregnant and baby is all healthy.

Honestly,...girl or boy shouldn't come into people's thinking just be grateful 😊

Generally, yes. There's a thread like this weekly and it's pretty much always desire for a girl. Sometimes not, but always met, rightly, with furore from mums of boys!

I don't understand what's wrong with having gender preference, some want boy, some girl, it's normal. Then those with only boys or only girls get upset because someone wants gender that they don't have ....it just blows my mind 🙄 I have 2 girls and third one on way but completely understand why someone wants boy or mixture of 2 and would be disappointed otherwise.

I wouldn’t find out, you don’t have to. I personally don’t think it’s fair to have a baby if you have a sex preference. It’s cruel; how can you not be disappointed

Do you really mean that your in laws would know the sex of your baby before you and that they would be the ones to reveal it to you? That is what your post sounds like. Is that really what gender reveal parties are? I always thought it was parents to be who revealed the info to their families not the other way round.

My advice is to insist to your DH that you and he keep the baby’s gender to yourselves for a while.
To the howls of protest from the family, you 🤐 and say that plenty of couples do this. If you need to justify it further you say you don’t want other people making assumptions and stereotypes about the baby this early.
You then have a few weeks to get your head around what the gender will be, and you and your partner encourage each other to feel positive and to form a lovely approach to the arrival of your child.
Having a baby is full of new emotional experiences and you should be kind to yourself. Your baby will be a wonderful little person, whether they are a lovely much loved little boy or a lovely much loved little girl.
You can decide later whether to tell for example grandparents or siblings what gender or everyone can wait until the birth.

Just find out privately between you two. You will love the baby regardless of gender