Anyone pregnant over 40?

[Bluesky85]

I’m 5 weeks pregnant at 42 and this is my first pregnancy. Everything I read about pregnancy over 40 is a little pessimistic! I’m worried about telling people in case they judge or feel like telling me how ‘high risk’ it is. I’m looking for others for moral support 😊come and say hi 👋

Hi

Sparks654
Well we went the IVF route as have been trying for 9 years and no natural pregnancy. So I was 42 when we did our first round of IVF, my husband has poor non-swimming sperm. I found a nice doctor and she did all the normal STI checks for both me and DH, then we had the hormone stimulation, I actually enjoyed the feeling the hormones gave me but the daily self-injections were draining in the end. We harvested 9 eggs, and froze 3, the rest of my eggs we had genetically tested (I had the procedure done in Germany, as my IVF doctor is the ex- wife of my old boss and now close friend); as it is not allowed to test embryos in Germany we could only test my harvested eggs for chromosomal errors. So I had issues with 3 out of the 4 of my eggs, we had just the 1 egg left in the end, and it reached a blastocyst by 5 day (the blastocyst is the fertilised bunch of cells, that grow eventually into an embryo).

I am a scientist so I did a lot of reading on articles on this genetic testing and the pros and cons, so in the end I found out it is a good idea to get your eggs tested, because as I say if you have chromosomal abnormalities this often leads to miscarriage in the first trimester. And they say in older women the chances of issues increase with your eggs.

I had 3 of my 4 eggs with issues, and indeed 2/4 eggs did not even grow to a blastocyst by day 5. Which means had my husband been able to have good swimming sperm, I would not have even tested positive for pregnancy (if we had done it the normal way let us say).

I would say though it did cost us a lot of money, and the IVF clinic were never clear about the costs with us until we got the bills.

But the 1 egg that I had implanted in the end has now grown and I am pregnant for 5 months, so I am glad we did it in the end. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

I am always so nervous, I guess because of my age.

I would say, get full STI checks for you and your husband.
If you can also make sure that you don't have the usual thrush, vaginosis; get all that treated first. And then I would definitely recommend no sex for the entire pregnancy. As my IVF doctor told me sex can lead to vaginal infections and sometimes this leads to miscarriages. My DH has been understanding on this subject.

Finally if you do get pregnant try to get your GP or consultant at the hospital to prescribe you progesterone tablets. AS I also read that these reduce the chances of miscarriage; my doctor in London said it is safe to take progesterone until 16 weeks in pregnancy.

Good luck

@Sparks654 me and my partner conceived naturally both aged 42 the first month of trying! We met later in life hence not trying before that. I appreciate this is very lucky! But actually not as uncommon as you think. It might be more unusual for people to have their first baby over 40 but it’s really quite common for people having their second or third etc. basically everyone is different, don’t assume it won’t work. I would just start trying asap if you aren’t already, and in the meantime ask for fertility blood tests from your GP (and partner) just so if there are any issues they are picked up asap.

I agree it is getting more common for women to be pregnant in their 40s. My stepmum had my half-sister at age 45 the normal way; and I have a beautiful 21 year old sister now, so I think as we all live longer and prioritise work and careers it will be more common to have babies in our forties.

The only thing I can say is try and do exercises before and during pregnancy to stay fit. My doctor is constantly telling me to stay fit.

Otherwise I am fine, all i have is terrible headaches, but that happens at any age.

@tweetiepie1
Hiya! Also 40 and currently pregnant. I just read through your post and was intrigued. What genetic tests were used to test your eggs? Is this new? I was only aware of genetic tests (PGTA) for embryos so when I read your post I just had to ask!

Hi, Borontobewild

Well I did the IVF in Germany so the PGTA is not allowed in Germany as the test is on the embryo, my tests were only on my eggs, but basically it is the same as PGT, it checked for errors on the chromosomes. I had 2 eggs with chromosome 21, 13 errors, to name a few. All egg were fertilised, as results took 3 days to arrive; the fertilisation was done on the day of egg retrieval using my husbands sperm using ICSI. So they watched the blastocyst grow for 5 days. Some of the eggs that had the chromosome errors stopped growing by day 5, so looks like nature decided for us sadly. I had 1 egg left in the end to use as a fresh transfer, and that was the egg implanted.

I would highly recommend my IVF doctor as she specialised in older women fertility and has 30 years of experience. But again it was in Germany as my DH is German and we stayed at my bosses house for free the entire IVF treatment (ex-boss, now dear friend, was on holiday at the time, so we had the place for ourselves.)

@tweetiepie1

Thanks for your reply. I did a brief search and found a few articles but I will probably have better luck looking for German papers (DH is also German).

All the best with your pregnancy 💜

Hello! An update to say I gave birth to a healthy baby girl last Friday. I was 43 when I conceived (naturally) and I’m now 44 and a half. The doctors didn’t want me to go over 40 weeks due to my age and I was booked in for an induction at 40.6 weeks, but baby came along spontaneously and quickly at 40.2 weeks. I was offered extra monitoring from 38 weeks due to my age. Other than that the pregnancy was straightforward, although I was more tired than with my older daughter (now 6). Best of luck to everyone!

Congratulations 🥳 wonderful news!

I am 40 conceived naturally and very quickly with my first pregnancy (sadly ended in mc) but tried again and fell pregnant immediately which is insane as the stats say a women 40+ will only have a 5% chance of conceiving per month.
i also have stage 4 endo!
I am now 6 weeks pregnant …so all the stress of not being able to conceive goes out the window HOWEVER ….

im just terrified of another miscarriage and I know my age is a factor ….but then again are the stats really that accurate and up to date?

as women we cannot win. Society isn’t happy when a younger woman falls pregnant (when we are our most fertile), women over 35 are geriatric…..a women has to 26 ….be in a long term stable relationship, financially stable with a mortgage. 🙄 I don’t know how this is ever possible.

I’ve come to realise whatever age you decide to have a baby someone will think it’s wrong and there are always stats to make you feel guilty.

i hope everyone in this thread is feeling ok and trying not to worry too much x

Hi. I'm 42 & 16w2d pregnant with first. Can't shake the feeling something is wrong, maybe because of a miscarriage at 11w last August. All fine at 12w scan, but just looking to hear good news stories & reassuring stats for older mums.

I'm 40 and 4+4 so happy

Congradulations everyone. Expressing my gratitude to everyone posting thier experience. It is unbelievably helpful. I am 43 and am going to schedule the tests and then IVF in a few months. I am concerened about getting negative, judgmental, snide, shaming comments from the medical community. Not the fertility clinics (they are used to it it seems), but for the rest of the pregancy.

I don't look my age (prob none of ya'll do as i think most ppl look younger now adays...its a thing now). I am very healthy. Yet despite this...as soon as I turned 43, I have been getting pelted with spirit crushing AGEISM from doctors.

I see this site is called 'mums'. Are most of you based in the UK? Im in NY state USA. The medical industry here is filled with booby traps. I know I need to go into this from a place of LOVE not FEAR. I also am not naive and need to PLAN out a medical team I can trust (is that even possible? do we get a choice when it comes to hosptials?).

I don't believe in va..xxxx...zineees.. The fact I have to write it like that shows how controlling and spooky the medical industry is. My body my choice my child my choice, also, everything should be open discussion with respect to informed consent.

I would appreciate advice in navigating the pregnancy journey and picking teams that believe in us.

Ive had two older parents who I rescued from the hands of the Hospital just in the nick of time. In both cases, they were shamelessly lying about my parents condition, on thier own agenda and just doing whatever they wanted to do (which wasn't in my parents best interest to say the least).

I could just imagine them using any chance they get (if they suck) to blame anything on... oh well...maybe your age. I already had this at the eye doctor the other day. (they wouldn't look into anything else, automatically saying it was age and sending me on way without this issue resolved).

Advice on creating the best set up for a supportive A team?

Midwife, Hosptial, OBGYN, etc..
Anyone from NY state? I am not sure if this is a good state to get pregant in. I am considering setting up a team in Pennsylvania or Massachusets instead.

I know there are medical staff I can trust out there.

Any advice is helpful.

Good energies to all you ladies and your babies. Thank you for being on this journey with me.

I’m 44 and currently 36 weeks with my 3rd (already have a 5 and a 3 year old) and I haven’t received a single negative comment from medical professionals about my age, in fact nobody has even mentioned it!
Aside from growth scans there hasn’t been any additional monitoring or tests, it seems to be luck of the draw how ‘older’ mums are treated and I’m sad to see so many have been given a tough time :(
It took me 4 years to conceive my first and I had six miscarriages between my son and this pregnancy so if I could have had them earlier I would have done but that’s not the way it worked out.
Best of luck to everyone!