Struggle

[SMC93]

Hi 👋
here goes nothing.
I had a missed miscarriage in march at 7 + 1 (this was a surprise baby - was off the pill for 5months)
since April I’ve been more invested in my cycle and although me and my husband won’t say we are trying we are “just going to let it happen” nothing is literally happening. I ovulate regularly, I use ovulation strips and nothing. I have a fear I am infertile I just have this built up in my head. Had anyone else been through something like this and what did they do/how long did it take?

We tried for a year and spoke to our GP who sent my husband to get his sperm count tested and I had a blood test to make sure I was ovulating. When the tests came back as normal we fell pregnant 2 months later. I think the relief of knowing everything was normal helped us relax and conceive. It was also the first time I stopped obsessing and tracking my cycle etc.

Also I spoke recently to a midwife who said a year of trying is a normal and common amount of time. At the time it feels like it will never happen and everyone else seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat, but if you’re really worried you can speak to your gp. They usually won’t test you unless you’ve been trying for a year + but if you’re a bit older it might be sooner.

Best of luck with everything and try not to over think - easier said than done I know.

Thanks for your reply! It actually made me feel a bit better. Nice knowing I’m not the only one x

It takes the average healthy couple up to 12 months to conceive. It’s only been 4 months since your mc, so hasn’t been long at all. Your mc is proof that you are not infertile and although very upsetting it gives you hope. TTC is really hard, go easy on yourself. Maybe have a month where you step away from the ovulation tests and focus on just having fun with each other and relaxing to help get rid of the stress and worries. The biggest issue your likely facing is stress, which can affect fertility

You're absolutely not alone - please try not to stress yourself out too much. Up to a year under age 35 is totally normal, if you get to a year of trying since your MMC then head to the doctor and have tests etc (or if you can afford it you can go private sooner).
I've just had my second MMC and we're going to start trying again, and I have similar fears but I'm taking time to talk myself down from them. Keep telling yourself positive affirmations. The statistics are in your favour. You are healthy. You are young. You take care of yourself etc.

And make sure you try to keep doing lots of things you enjoy to distract from the journey of TTC as it can be all consuming (ttc for my first pregnancy which also ended in miscarriage was the start of the end of my marriage as it took 2.5 years and we ended up at each other's throats - don't be like we were!). Hopefully you'll find ways to have lots of fun together and feel good about life whilst you're trying x

I totally relate to how you feel. I came off my pill in December 21 and my period took nearly a year to return and when it did it was still super irregular. We got referred to the fertility clinic and have been on letrozole to try to regulate my periods but I came off it last month because they couldn't get the dose right. Thought that this last cycle off the medication would be a total write off but I guess not obsessing over it so much helped because I've just got my BFP! It's so infuriating to hear people say 'just relax, it'll happen' but I do think there is something in keeping busy with other things and not putting life on hold in the meantime. Good luck!

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I got pregnant last December after having a miscarriage in March (around 5 weeks). We had been trying previously for over a year and every month after the miscarriage, monitoring my cycles and using ovulation strips. I was also obsessed with the idea that I was infertile especially since I'm also over 35, but here we are, getting close to full term! We didn't do anything special, just trying to hit my fertile window and regular prenatal vitamins. Hope it happens for you too!