3 months pp and I'm pregnant again... stories/advice?!

[mumtobemay2023]

Hi Everyone,

As the title says, I'm 13 weeks pp and just found out I'm pregnant again with baby #2.

Me and my partner did want them close in age if possible but this wasn't planned. It took us over 2 years to conceive baby #1 so it's definitely a shock!
I keep going back and forth in my head trying to make the best decision but I'm struggling. We had a sit down yesterday to discuss it all properly and we both decided to go ahead with it but I feel so overwhelmed!

I just wanted to hear from other people who have been in this situation and how it was for you? Both pregnancy and postpartum wise!

Thank you xx

I think it is probably more common than you realise. First thing I'd do is have a scour over your works maternity policy. In order to qualify for mat leave/pay for the second pregnancy you may need to return to work for a short while.

How far along in the pregnancy are you? Don't feel bad if you and baby do the bare minimum during the morning sickness period with this pregnancy.

At some point start googling double pushchairs

Congrats!

Thank you so much for your reply!

I have been scouring the internet for other people's stories to make me feel better and I can't find any😂

I do plan on returning to work at the beginning of October for as long as possible before going back on maternity leave again. Not only so we can save some more money but to regain a little bit of sanity hahaha!

I think I'm around 5 weeks, I can't be any more than that as I had a period at towards the end of June.

I think it's going to take a while to wrap my head around everything, at the moment I feel overwhelmed but I'm sure we can do this!

Thank you again xx

Bump in the hope some other ladies have been/are in the same situation and can share their experiences!

I'm terrified and have absolutely no idea what to do...

Congratulations! My 2nd and 3rd are 345 days apart lol pregnancy was fine physically but I did find it tough being pregnant again mentally because I wasn't ready to have another child yet. He has been the biggest blessing in my life though ❤The first year or so was a bit wild but they get on so well together which is lovely.

Oops. It's a shock isn't it? Same thing happened to me and I went into total denial and didn't even mention anything to anyone (including DH) for 3 months. Couldn't believe I was bloody well up the duff again. With the two of them so close together it was like having sodding twins. I didn't get a full night's sleep for 4 years!

I have 2 born a year apart (same month a year later) it was fine.

Not personally but a few friends have children a year apart and their children are absolutely the best of friends now at 6/7. Also my husband is only 11 months older than his sister! MIL says it was all a blur!

Aw thank you so much!

Im exactly the same at the moment, I'm struggling with the idea of another baby right now! We wanted them close in age but now that it's happened I can't seem to wrap my head around it!

Did you find it hard with them being so close in age or do you actually think it would of been easier than a larger age gap? Xx

It really is a shock, I feel more terrified now than what I did first time around (as a complete beginner, no idea what I was doing before I had baby #1)🤣

I can imagine it was all worth it though! I'm absolutely terrified and I thought I'd get more on board with it as days go by but still just as terrified as I was when I found out

I have two boys with a 13 month age gap, so slightly longer gap than you will have. They're teenagers now. It was physically hard when the second guy was born as I had a section and the older one was barely walking so I think the most important thing is to have help if possible for a week or two after the birth for lifting the older baby.
In some ways it was easier than a bigger age gap as DS1 had just found his feet and was happy toddling about and didn't pay any attention to DS2.
I bought a playpen with mesh sides for the living room and put the moses basket with DS2 in the playpen. That meant when DS2 was napping I could put my feet up on the couch and DS1 wasn't confined and got time with me while DS2 was safely out of his sight but not out of mine.

It got a lot easier as they got older. They were often on the same sports teams and were in the same swimming lesson group. Outings to the cinema and playground were easy because they were at the same stage. Now that they are teenagers they hang around in the same group of friends so much less driving for me all around.

In the 50's 60's we called babies born less than 12 months apart Irish Twins.
I have brothers born in Sept 52, August 53, and June 54. 10.5 months between each of them.

Firstly congratulations 😊
And secondly, you're going to be just fine. You'll already be in the sleep deprived, nappy changing etc stage, so it's not like you're doing it all over again. Baby number 2 literally just follows baby number ones routine. Even down to syncing naps.

Of course there will be hard days but they'll be easier days too. I'm talking from experience. I have a 12 mth age gap. 7 & 8 years old. It was madness at first but it definitely makes sense now and I love it.

Itl be absolutely fine! Itl be hard just like any baby can be, but like someone said- ure already sleep deprived, nappies etcetc. And it's fun to watch both siblings interact and grow up together and do things together, like school and clubs etc. it is daunting but try and concentrate on the positives. X

I found out number 2 was on the way when number 1 (6 miscarriages, 2 IVFS and 5 years) was six months old.

It’s intense, and every stage goes on for twice as long because they are so close together. DH needs to be all in, and you need to be clever planning with clothes equipt etc.

Mine are 17 and 18 now, no easier. They were amazing friends when they were small, beautiful. Not as overtly affectionate now but still very bonded, and in the glimmers that aren’t teenage angst/twattishness, are a joy to be with, and make us proud every day. Despite being so close in age and both being girls they’re very different - eldest v alternative, goth/anime/steampunk wants to be a tattoo artist, youngest doing A Levels in Classics, Ancient History and Sociology, going all out to go to Oxford.

It’s bloody hard having them so close together, like twins but not quite because schedules rarely align well. I think there was 6 months where they both had a decent nap in the afternoon, and I used to pass out as fast as them!

Accept any help you get offered, make time for them just you and them individually and buckle up, it’s quite a ride!

Mine are 15 months apart and I was glad to get the lack of sleep over with quickly. They are now 13 and 12 and the best of friends with similar hobbies. My eldest dd has a friend who has a 6 year age gap with her sibling and is finding the summer break boring. Whilst my 2 get up to mischief together!

I also went back to work and then went on ML again. I had worked there for 10 years so didn’t feel that bad about it! Congratulations 🎉

My youngest two are 14 months apart. The baby being nearly 5 months old - I've got 3 in total.... it just means your extra fertile pp - that's why the midwives and gp/hv always asked me what form of contraception I'd use after pregnancy 🤰 definitely using some this time around 😂

Its interesting most say theirs are very close same friends etc mine are boy and girl and not close and don't share the same friends so not a given sadly!

One upside - I had a really great figure with 2 little ones because I had to carry 2 babies/kids around all the time. One under each arm. So it was like daily constant weight training. I was fit as a flea.

@mumtobemay2023 I think it was easier in that I hadn't gotten used to sleeping during the night again 😂my daughter started walking at 11 months so that was interesting with a newborn but it was ok. I'd say the one thing I had to learn was that I couldn't do everything. Sometimes that meant someone had to cry for a minute while I was busy with another child and that didn't mean I was being a bad parent.

I think there's always going to be something to worry about when you get pregnant. I'm having #4 and there's a nearly 7 year gap this time so I'm worrying about that now lol

If it helps, my friend had IVF and ended up with triplets
Being unable to get pregnant she wasn't using contraception when she had sex 8 weeks after having them...
the positive pregnancy test was a shock!
They're actually all adults now and she's still in one piece

Thank you so much everyone! I'm still absolutely petrified and overwhelmed but these comments really have made me feel like I can do it...

We've always wanted another so I don't know why I'm reacting the way I am, I suppose it'll be easier now than in 5 years time! I think it's because it's another big step in such a short space of time...

I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant, my DS has just turned 9 months so it was a bit of a shock when I found out I was pregnant again 4 months postpartum. Took us nearly a decade to conceive him and at the end of 2021 I’d mentally drawn a line then a couple of months later it happened. I’ve gone back to work for all of 12 weeks to give them a hand during a busy period mainly to advise as lots of staff changes but I’m really excited to have another baby. I spent my first pregnancy in this massive fog of denial it was actually happening after such a long time looking back I felt so disconnected from
it all so it’s been lovely to be more with it now. Good luck OP 😊