TMI Alert - I feel too small down there to pass a baby's head!

[pgandsad]

I know that the cervix dilates 10cm but what about the fanjo? One of the reasons I gave up sex was because I felt I'd shrunk to the size of something that might just allow a pencil (sorry if TMI) so I am terrified of tearing and of course that tension doesnt help.

If I can relax (even just a bit, will it make labour/birth easier?)

Would like to hear from you if you feel/felt similar or if you can offer reassurance - please!

Actually that helps a LOT B1977, because even tho I know abt the fontanelle (sp) etc I still think I'm going to be pushing out something solid. And they are covered in gooey stuff also so that must be good news too. (Hopeful )

I've just ordered perineal stretch kit from www.gentlebirthmethod.com (Dr Gowri Motha's regime). She suggests doing it everyday from 36 weeks. Worth a try I figure.

Message withdrawn

Mssage perennium (sp?) beforehand. It can only help can't it?
Can I just add that I think perenniums sound like lovely flowers? Maybe, I'll get a lovely bunch of perenniums for Mother's day??!!

pjandsad, I also had this worry! Have always found smears very uncomfortable but I was able to give birth to DS and due to give birth again in a few months.

Also deep breathing and chanting "this will pass" helped alot!! Would recommend cheap sanitary towels after the birth as they tend to be alot thicker and more padded.

I took Arnica tablets but didn't really find them much help, warm baths with just lavender oil in were good and some strong painkillers for the first few weeks! Remember any discomfort passes quickly and loads of women give birth every second of every day with no problems.

I'm a tiny size one mooncup person and yet the consultant still managed to stick his hand up my nethers while trying to break my waters and believe me, his hand was a lot bigger than my DDs head when she came out (through the catflap actually since the induction failed but that's immaterial to this).

Your vagina, like your anus has sphincter muscles (round muscles) which when you are tense, lock down. Ever been in the loo trying to have a poo when someone comes in and suddenly you can't go. Well that's exactly the same physiological response to stress that your vagina goes through when you are scared or shocked.

You might want to try mooing like a cow, if you open your mouth your sphincters (both sorts) relax and open - seriously, try it next time you are trying to have a poo, it works wonders. Good tip for avoiding piles btw, you don't strain if you moo. Mind you, your kids think there are farmyard animals in the bathroom but hey, their worst imaginings are nothing compared to the perils of 'a new baby brother' .

Also my DH was deeply skeptical about hypnobirthing, so I just read the book and assumed I would just not count on him and it still helped me stay relaxed - along with copious quantities of entenox.

Honestly you'll be fine. Even if you tense up entirely the baby will eventually come out one way or the other.

Thank you everyone, I am venturing towards my first perineal massage, and have lavender/tea tree oil, arnica tablets and mooing voice all ready!

I wouldn't let your dh being sceptical about hypnobirthing put you off. DH had zero input when it came to it (didn't want him to TBH, because I wanted to do it for me and I felt that him 'helping' would put me off), and yet I found the 3 sessions (and nightly tape listening) fantastically helpful.

Thanks pooka, will go back to the book now. X