Advice

[h1996]

Just looking for some advice.
Iv just found out I’m pregnant again (my daughter is 13 months) completely unplanned and a shock.
Me and my partner always thought we’d have another but right now feel like the wrong time, my partner is really against the idea of having another one and his reasons are mostly financial which I can understand as this is something
I’m worried about to. On the flip side I don’t feel like termination is the right choice for me either and I’m scared I’ll regret it.
I wish someone could make this decision for me

Hi op.
Don't stress yourself. Do what you wany to do. Don't feel pressured by your hubby just because he said he isn't ready yet.
I'm 5 months pregnant with my 4th that was unplanned and a total shock. My youngest is only 19 months. But we took it as a blessing.

I hope you make the right choice and not regret it. Always here for a talk x

How far along is this pregnancy OP? Are you back to work now? Will you qualify for paid mat leave? Is there any chance you could make it work financially?

Your partner does have some responsibility in helping to conceive this child, sounds like he needs to face up to that

Thanks so much for both commenting.

I'm back at work but only part time and as I'm a nurse it's not great pay. I do think he is very scared as I feel like he feels the pressure to 'provide' so I understand that but on the flip side I feel like he does need to accept accountability.
I feel like if I have a termination I will regret it, but scared of the pressure it will put on our family if I continue.

@h1996 I totally understand the situation. I'm a nurse myself, and hubby works in security. Financially, it's a worry as my 2 daughters, 15 and 9, are big, and their things are really expensive, and then my son, who is 19 months, is still in nappies, etc. Now I'm pregnant again, we are starting all over again. I personally don't believe in terminations. But this is a choice that you have to make and be comfortable with it.

I think you should sit down with your husband and have a conversation about this. Please do keep us updated. All the best op x

Agree you need to sit down with your husband and work out some options. It might be helpful to signpost - right, what if we put our most positive hats on, what are the things we could do to make this work?
And the flip side - if we didn't continue this pregnancy, when would be the right time? What would be different?

Could you increase your working hours in time for your qualifying weeks for mat pay OP? Can you call on any family/friends to help with childcare for your first just for these qualifying 2 months?

I will only get statutory mat pay due to recently starting a new job. We also own a three bed house and my eldest is 11 (boy) and then my daughter 13 months, so we have no more room if we have a boy and cannot afford a 4 bed. It's such a stressful situation. My mind goes from wanting to do one thing to wanting to do another