A couple of weeks ago my waters went at 32 weeks. I had a couple of nights stay in hospital and they sent me home. Ever since my waters are going up to 6 times a day. I would say 50% are trickles (were my pads are full and there might be some going down my leg) and the other 50% are gushes where I leave a massive puddle on the floor. I can’t leave the house because of it as it’s quite frankly humiliating.
Im having to go to hospital three times a week for monitoring so my poor DD is being shipped off to whoever will take her that day. I’m so
lucky it’s summer holidays and a lot of my family work in schools. With the appointments and additions impromptu stays at hospitals (ie when I started to go into labour, which luckily stopped) she’s so confused and is lashing out. I don’t blame her at all, I blame myself for putting her in this situation. I feel like I’m being a terrible mum to her.
I know that keeping the baby in is what is best for them but selfishly I would give birth tomorrow just so this would be over with. The uncertainty of how healthy this baby will be is also a massive worry. I know he will have to stay in NICU for a while and the thought of leaving him in one of those incubators breaks my heart. So him being here will make me feel a bit better as we will know how much all this has put a strain on him.
Various Drs have suggested different dates for induction from 34-37 weeks. I’m seeing the consultant this week and I pray to god they agree to induce me sooner rather than later.
I am just emotionally and physically exhausted, feeling guilty for my current and future baby and had enough of asking people to do simple tasks for me.
My family are being incredibly supportive but are individually going through massive moments in their own lives right now and I’m extra conscious of not banging on about it to them.