Struggling with work

[Pandapro]

First time poster. I’m 33, pregnant (8weeks) and going to be a single mum. I work full time as a kitchen manager for a small business(Less than 15 employees) doing nightshift 10pm-7am Tuesday-Saturday. For approximately 2 weeks now I have been suffering badly from consistent sickness and nausea. Both the midwife and doctor suspect it’s something called hyperemesis. I’ve been given anti-sickness tablets and told that the main way I can help the symptoms is rest/sleep. Due to work that’s next to impossible. I’m struggling to sleep during the day and I’ve been so unwell that I’ve had to take several nights off work. The issue I’m having is I’m really worried about how I can do my job just now. I am finically independent, so if I don’t work, my rent/bills do not get paid which is stressing me out and not helping my situation. I’m at a loss just now and wondering if anyone has been in this position and if so what did they do to help symptoms or get round not being able to work. I’ve tried everything that I’ve found online and been told to by the doctor to try ease the symptoms. Any help would be super appreciated! Thank you.

Can you take off some time for pregnancy-related sickness? Emphasise it's pregnancy-related and supposedly they can't fire you.

I could do, but it would mean a substantial struggle with money. That’s the only factor putting me off.

I’m just over 8 weeks too OP.The only thing that is helping me over the last few weeks with HG is lots and lots of rest.I work part time & have signed off sick.Cyclizine was making me like a zombie and now I’m on a different med which I’m taking very minimal as the long term side effects sound scary. I freelance and had to cancel a few jobs which is where most my income comes from over the PT job. It’s such a nightmare but if I push myself too much I feel much much worse.We have a 4 year old and have put him in nursery for a few extra days over summer holiday as plans for summer have gone out the window right now. Tried everything the ginger tea,lemon water,have anti sickness bands on,snacking often.It’s been grim & I hope it settles soon as it’s hard work!

flowers

I would ask your doctor if it's safe for you to try Phenergan. It's an antihistamine which is used for sickness in pregnancy and if I take it in the evening I get a really good nights sleep and feel better the next day. So you could perhaps try taking it 12 hours before your shift starts, with a view to getting a good sleep during the day and then hopefully feeling a bit more rested and less sick during your night shift. Sympathy to you, pregnancy sickness is so awful.

I’ve been given other anti sickness tablets today, although the doctor said not to take them until I’m at least 10 weeks. I feel a little more ‘human’ once I’m rested. I’ve been signed off work for a week. It seems that the only thing to really help with this is rest up as much as possible. I went food shopping earlier and it completely floored me.

If you're signing off with pregnancy-related illness you should continue to get paid unless you're not an employee but freelance/on something like a zero hours contract. When I was very sick in early pregnancy I was paid in full for the weeks I took off.

It's common practice to receive full pay for the first [X] weeks or months sick at larger employers, but it is not a legal obligation. The legal obligation is only to pay statutory sick pay from day 4 of sickness, which is £109 a week. It being pregnancy-related sickness protects you against being sacked, but it does not get you more pay.

OP, have you checked your t's and C's with your employer on sickness? Ultimately, if you are too sick to work you are too sick to work, and I imagine that you would be able to claim additional benefits alongside the pittance of SSP if it's all you have to live off, but I can't speak from experience there. But it's a tough prospect. Both CAB and Mumsnet are good at advising on benefits if needed.

I work for a small business, it’s SSP no other additional pay if you take time off for sickness (I have worked for bigger companies where this is a thing). I’m now off work for a week with a sick note from the doctor. However after informing my employer and sending a copy of the fitnote (told them I would hand in the actual fitnote when I’m a little better as I’m exhausted) I received a message asking me to come into work on Sunday at 6am for a meeting. I’ve asked what the meetings about but he wouldn’t tell me. I’ve never been called in for a meeting before. I’ve had numerous issues with them in the past so I’m not holding hope that this will be easy on Sunday.

A 6am meeting with someone who’s been signed off work for sickness isn’t right surely? I wouldn’t be going to this meeting, any correspondence can be done over the phone or email while you’re off sick.

I had issue with this with current part time employer too and they are a very big company.Thankfully there’s a intermediary in place & things have got sorted but I felt bullied into going back sooner though I can not deal with that right now.

If they try to bully you or try anything on reach out to Citizens Advice Bureau asap. They shouldn’t be telling you to go in whilst off sick. Also pregnancy related sickness does not go against you as it’s not a normal sickness.

how did it go?

Yeh not too grand, I was offered a promotion about a month back from kitchen manager to production manager, they told me that they will no longer be offering me this position, no real reason other than they don’t need that position anymore. They also informed me that they will be hiring a head baker (which is my job just a different title) they said that means my job will be obsolete in a months time. So I’ve 2 choices, either demotion to a baker (I’m not a baker, I have zero experience. All my experience lays with higher management and helping small business owners run their business.) or redundancy. I was so upset, I asked if it was because I’m sick with the pregnancy and of course they said no but there is no other reason, I’ve had no meetings/investigations or discipliners regarding my ability to do my job so this is completely out of the blue for me.

Really sounds like they are doing this due to you being pregnant if nothing else has happened prior to this. You should seek independent advice on the matter and take it further OP.It is not ok for companies to treat people this way and get away with it.What are your thoughts on the matter?

Honestly, this is a long time coming, I’ve had serious issues with this place. Away back in February this year, a member of my staff sent very explicit messages to me, basically asking for s*x. That’s a first for me, long story short I reported it to the owners who are my line managers, as I worked with this employee alot myself and I felt super uncomfortable. A grievance was made then about a week later I received an email saying I had been suspended due to aggressive behaviour. I had no idea where this come from and I emailed back to ask and got no response for 2 weeks. (The member of staff who was sending me inappropriate messages was allowed to return to work while I was suspended) I eventually got a text message from my boss asking me to come in for a meeting, I think they were just tired and struggling without me because he said that he wanted to put everything behind and just get back to working normal. I never got a result of that grievance. After this, things just got so much worse with them and it’s been one incident after another. So I’m not one bit surprised really they would do this. I suppose I hoped they wouldn’t be so spiteful, they are awful to work for.

@Pandapro that's really awful, I'm sorry you're being put through this along with going through early pregnancy. You definitely need to seek legal advice though, it sounds very much like you have good grounds for unfair dismissal/they're breaking pregnancy employment protection laws (along with a whole other host of employee rights eg not closing grievance). If I was you I'd get in contact with citizens advice in the morning. Maternity action would be good to speak to too

Thank you for that advice, I’m going to be calling places/people tomorrow to find out what I can do. It’s added stress onto that I could really be doing without because this sickness is kicking my butt

Try the website pregnant then screwed
https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/

Tried calling pregnant and screwed they are closed til September:0

hope you managed to get some advice from independent places today and that it was positive and something can be done

@snoopy18 hey thanks, I called pregnant then screwed, they are closed til September but I got in touch with someone from maternity action, although they can’t really help because I’m in Scotland she advised what to do and said that it does sound like a case of discrimination. I’ve been told to get in touch with ACAS and get some legal advice too. I’ve been asked to come in again for another meeting on Thursday to make decisions on what was discussed. I’ve worked in management for about a decade and I have never asked someone to come in while off sick never mind twice. I’m struggling to do basic things round the house just now so I’m not looking forward to sitting and watching this unfold Thursday. It’s stress and worry I could really do without. Thank you for asking.