Probable missed miscarriage

[Allicit]

We found out I was pregnant with our second child on Father’s Day and we’re over the moon. Everything seemed like it was going well except feeding my toddler was becoming excruciating. Some tiredness and nausea. Feeling excited and a bit terrified. We ended up booking an early scan as I had some very light spotting but I had this the whole way through my last pregnancy.

I should be 10 weeks pregnant tomorrow. We went for the private scan yesterday and there was a yolk sack, a fetal pole of only 1.3mm and gestational sac of 19.7mm. So it looks like it never developed much and this whole time I thought I was carrying our baby and I’m not. I don’t know what to do. EPU won’t see me until Friday as they’re ‘full’ until then. I’ve had more spotting on and off today. I’m terrified I’m going to have a miscarriage at home on the toilet and I just can’t even bear the thought of it. I was signed off work anyway for a chest infection so I’ve been really poorly the last 2 weeks and I just feel so lost. EPU don’t know I’m spotting should I tell them? I feel sick and helpless and lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I know how heartbreaking this feels. It might be worth telling the EPU you're spotting too, with bleeding involved they may see you quicker than Friday. If you start bleeding more heavily or start getting abdominal pain, definitely get in touch with them again to be seen quicker if possible.

I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks (baby stopped growing at 9 weeks) in 2020 and I had my miscarriage at home a couple of days after finding out (though this was through my own choice, for me personally a D&C felt too scary to go through with). I'd also had a previous loss at 7-8 weeks the year before and had also had this at home, so I kind of felt like I knew what to expect at that point.

Hopefully you can be seen by your EPU beforehand, but if you find yourself in a situation where you are at home, my advice would be to keep topped up on paracetamol (and intersperse with ibuprofen if you're able to take it and feel like you need it). Keep your partner close and if you can arrange short notice childcare that may help too. A hot water bottle will be your best friend and plenty of sleep/rest/time to process afterwards. Happy to answer any more specific questions you may have. Sending lots of hugs your way x

Op I am so so sorry, like the other poster I have been there too last year and know what the heartbreaking lost feeling is like. I did have brown spotting with mine but the scan showed the 9 week baby stopped growing at 6. Mine didn’t pass naturally so was given medical management, but I would say it can be quite an upsetting thing to go through at home. Definitely keep well stocked up on paracetamol and a hot water bottle, heavy flow (maternity if you can) sanitary pads and try not to make any plans.

like PP said/ too, if the pain is too much to cope with at home go to A&E, this is what they are there for and you are more than entitled to be seen there (just sadly may be a long wait).

Very sadly I have a good friend experiencing the same currently and her EPU couldn’t see her to scan her for 5 days due to being full, despite several calls to explain how this was impacting her.

Sending you love ♥️

I also found out we were pregnant on Father’s Day and have a similar story to you, I had a D&C today. I hope you get the answers you need and have the support around to heal ❤️ xxxx

OP I'm so so sorry for what you're going through. I just had surgical management for my second missed miscarriage last week, it's devastating (both lost between 10-11 weeks). Definitely tell the EPU you are bleeding, I know my EPU holds some scan appointments back for emergencies. Like you, I couldn't bare the thought of going through the miscarriage at home, which is why I chose surgical management both times. Sending you the biggest hugs xx

Oh Honey, I’m so sorry!! I am in a similar situation, I went for a dating scan tonight, should be 9+3, there was a gestational sack and yolk sack but no embryo to be seen, I have to go back in a week to find out if I’m earlier than I thought but I just don’t see me being that early. The sack is measuring 15mm which makes me only 6.5 weeks, based on my calculations that’s impossible so I think it’s a missed miscarriage also.

sending you all my love and positive vibes x

Thank you all for your messages. EPU moved my scan to yesterday where they confirmed it’s a missed miscarriage. But they’re saying they can’t formally diagnose and offer any management until I’ve waited another 10 days and had another scan. A third internal scan (as they can’t accept the private scan) to tell us what we already know just feels cruel and I feel quite angry about it. EPU were very kind. She’s booked me in for surgery the day after the next scan but we all expect it to happen on its own before then due to spotting which is exactly what I didn’t want. I feel angry and upset and generally a bit like sh*t to be honest. It’s really upsetting to be told it’s definitely a miscarriage but we can’t formally diagnose without putting you through more agony. I understand the process but I don’t agree with it.

I am so sorry you are going through this :-(. I will be thinking of you x

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It’s completely rubbish xx

Hi lovely,

I just thought I’d pop a message on here as I went through a very similar thing in May. I found out I was pregnant end of March but we weren’t trying so I wasn’t entirely sure how far along I was, I ended up having a random one of red bleed when I was either 8 or 9 weeks and went to the EPU who said it hadn’t grown past 4/5 weeks but my sonographer actually said “that could be the flicker of a heartbeat” which it clearly wasn’t, and I had to wait 10 days to have it confirmed (even though I already knew). In that time, my body still didn’t naturally miscarry so ultimately I probably went about 5 weeks with nothing, other than that one off red bleed. I also had surgical management and I found it the easiest option, the staff there are really nice & it was over so quickly. I had general anaesthetic for mine but I know some hospitals do local, I had no complications after and bled lightly for about 9 days and then nothing. No pain other than when I first woke up a very light cramp which was similar to period and had gone by the time I was back in my room!

What I wanted to say is whilst I know right now you will feel so low, there is a light at the end of the tunnel as I conceived 3 weeks after my miscarriage and (touchwood) I am now 10 weeks 4 days - I say touchwood as the missed miscarriage has most definitely left me with a huge amount of anxiety in this pregnancy and I’m constantly convinced something is wrong because last time I had no warning signs. I also found out last week I had a subchornic hematoma which has caused bleeding so anxiety has been through the roof. Anyway, I know first hand how awful it things but generally missed miscarriages are quite rare and it’s just shit luck to go through and you most likely won’t have to again.

My advice would be to invest in some counselling if you can (or through the NHS), people told me to do this but I never did and now I am pregnant again I wish I did as my anxiety has been terrible. I think it will help you heal & hopefully go into your next pregnancy with more of a positive mindset than me. Look after yourself and please take time off work (not just a few days!). You will get through this x