Back sleeping during pregnancy.

[Alexsmum21]

I don't know if anyone can help but I'm driving myself insane. I have a beautiful 2 year old who is developmentally behind. His speech is also behind for his age. During the pregnancy, I had no idea that you're not supposed to sleep on your back during pregnancy (midwife didn't tell me). I slept on my back until I was 27 weeks (thinking this was the safest option). Now I'm terrified that I've given my little boy brain damage. I just can't get it out of my head. It's constantly in the back of my mind every single day.

God love you. There is some evidence that sleeping on your back increases the risk of stillbirth, that's why that advice is there. You absolutely didn't harm your little boy by sleeping on your back x

I thought that not sleeping on your back in pregnancy was a comfort thing. By my third trimester I physically couldn't lie on my back for more than a couple minutes without serious discomfort. In general though I think if your comfortable you're probably fine, I'm sure plenty pregnant women roll on their backs during the night without realising.

Completely agree with PP! You haven't done anything wrong and you are being the best mum worrying about it but try and be kinder to yourself and not xx

As pp said it increases the risks of still birth, and the advice is to avoid sleeping on your back and preferably on your left side only during the third trimester as the weight of the baby pushes on an artery. Before the third trimester your fine to sleep on your back.

You definitely did not cause anything to be wrong by sleeping in your back. If it helps I have known of a lot of toddlers who are behind with speech, my friend’s little one didn’t speak until around 3.5, then hardly spoke until around 5. Now you can’t stop him talking. There seems to be an awful lot of toddlers that get labelled as behind for their age when it comes to speech, most of them seem to catch up within a couple of years

Thank you all for the messages. It literally plagues my mind every day. Just the fact that they say not to do it after 20 weeks. I know I've read a lot about people rolling on their backs during the night but I deliberately went to sleep on my back. The risk of stillbirth during the 3rd trimester is due to lack of oxygen so I can't stop thinking this might have happened to my little one. Especially when I think back, he was always active at night so I can't help but think he was in distress which is why he moved a lot. From about 15 months we noticed that something was right with our little one. He was delayed in sitting up, crawling, pointing and walking. He wouldn't let us hold him to feed from about 3 months of age and even now we struggle to get him to eat. We have thought Autism but the more he's developing the more it's making us think it's something else.

@Alexsmum21 this is from nhs website which says the advice is from 28 weeks. Before then the baby isn’t heavy enough to put enough pressure on the artery. I don’t know who told you 20 weeks but that’s incorrect. As you said you only slept on your back until 27 weeks anyway.

How do you feel generally day to day? Having something like this that you are focusing on daily could be a sign of PND, it may really help you to speak to someone. Perhaps bring it up with HV or other medical professional so they can confirm that you didn’t cause anything. But I really would consider talking to someone as it’s likely this will eat away at you otherwise.

@PickledScrump Hiya. I definitely have post natal anxiety 100%. I am currently on Citalopram due to this. Whenever you google any pregnancy guidelines, it always suggests from 20 weeks (just wish I'd googled this during the pregnancy). The 3rd trimester can result in stillbirth but for them to say no after 20 weeks makes me think that damage could still have been done. I think the only way I'm going to stop worrying about it, is if they give my little boy an mri and I can't see that happening.

@Alexsmum21 im on my third pregnancy and each time the advice to me has always been only in third trimester not to sleep on your back. I’ve never seen it from 20 weeks and nhs and tommys both say from 28 weeks. Stick to official sites and ignore others as there’s a lot of misinformation out there. Google should be avoided when pregnant and a new mum as there’s just so much made up stuff out there. You need to go back and speak to your GP and just let them know that the medication isn’t working, they may be able to put you for some cbt. They should also be able to confirm that you could not have caused any problems by sleeping on your back.

Oh gosh no!

I for the life of me couldn't stop sleeping on my back. 😂 never have in my life before, but when pregnant I always would wake up finding myself on my back. Every.time.

My placenta never developed properly, so my baby was starved of oxygen the whole time (she was induced early) so if anyone on the planet would be screwed by it, it would be me. 😂 luckily made no difference. Phew.

@PickledScrump @lovesheart Thank you both for your messages. That's why I wanted to make this feed. Whenever I try to talk to my family about it, they tell me to stop mentioning it so I'm left to internalise it all the time. I was on the citalopram for about a year but stopped it when he started to improve. I only started retaking them a week ago so know it takes a month to take effect. My healthvisitor hasn't been the most helpful unfortunately. She's of the mind that there's absolutely nothing wrong with him despite the fact that he's under a paediatrician and dietician etc

I think it sounds as though you probably need support for the anxiety. They sound like intrusive thoughts and it’a awful, I suffered with them after my first was born and I had no idea what they were. I think it’s your brain’s way of processing the worry and sadness about your little one’s development not coming on the way you’d hope and your desire to do your best to care and protect them.
it sounds to be like you’re a lovely and caring mum who is attentive to their child’s needs and capacities and not afraid of trying to get extra help for both them and yourself when you sense you need it. I think you need to acknowledge the thoughts as just that and begin to recognise that it is very very very unlikely that you did them any harm and that none of us could ever know whether our actions in pregnancy had an impact on our children, but that if we were doing our best, then nothing else could be reasonably expected.
I agree with the previous poster who said to keep an open mind about development as children do absolutely come on at different rates and things that look very worrying can also sort themselves out in time. But also want to support you in trusting your gut when advocating for extra help if you feel that they need it. I used to be a special needs teacher and in early years I would always say to parents that we should act as though they do have additional needs but be open minded about what is really happening because they extra support, such as speech and language intervention or ideas for how to play with them will always be a good thing anyway.
But definitely keep asking for help for yourself and good luck.