4 weeks pregnant - anxiety

[eloisie]

Hello, I’m looking for a bit of reassurance / hand holding.

I found out I am pregnant last Tuesday with a very, very faint line and am trying to find a way of a managing the anxiety of hoping all will go well. After 6 days of constant testing and line tracking showing good darkening of lines (see attached) I finally managed to stop. I got a blood test down yesterday to know my hcg levels, which were at 123, putting me in my fourth week (I am not sure how many DPO I am). I will get an early ultrasound at 6 weeks to hear the heartbeat which should help.

In the meantime I have found myself stressing about chemical pregnancy, miscarriage, silent miscarriage because I had terribly sore breasts and cramping for about a week and all of that has eased (but I have no pain / bleeding or any kind).

I am not currently working so I have started to reorganise the home a bit, which we need anyway and will help time pass. I would however find your advice helpful, even if it is just to remind me that if I miscarry (whether as a CP or later) I will have symptoms…?

Thank you all. Apologies if this all sounds completely insane.

Hi @eloisie, congratulations! I'm also about 4 weeks pregnant.

I have had 3 previous miscarriages and unfortunately they were missed so I did have no signs. The best thing you can do is try and distract yourself, I know it's really difficult but also try remember that worrying/not worrying won't change what happens at all. Despite all my losses I still feel pretty positive everytime I get pregnant and think, this is a new pregnancy a new baby etc.

I'm always here if you want to talk about your worries/rant or anything. It can be a difficult and lonely time. Wishing you all the best 🌺

I absolutely know that feeling, I have never lost a baby but I felt so lucky to be pregnant, I honestly thought I can't be this lucky. I was convinced that there wasn't going to be a heart beat or I was going to loose the baby. I had bad anxiety. You just want to enjoy being pregnant but you can't cos you feel like somethings going to go Wrong. Mine are 15 & 11 now so obvs my pregnancy's were fine. Can you speak to a midwife?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

All my pregnancy symptoms disappeared around this time as well. I got an early scan at 6 weeks as I was so worried. All was fine and my son is now six years old. :)

It’s easy to say “try not to worry” but if you could do that you wouldn’t be asking for help! Try to watch the worries float by like clouds. Acknowledge them, don’t fight them but equally don’t engage with them, just say “okay, thanks mind” and focus your attention elsewhere.

Worrying (and the search for reassurance in doing the tests, blood test, posting on here) is your effort to control the uncontrollable. That’s entirely understandable because this means so much to you. What you’re looking for is relief from your feelings but a healthier approach might be to simply accept them, show yourself compassion, relax your body via yoga/meditation etc, and let things unfold as they will. The more accepting you can become of the anxiety, the less frightening it will feel.

It’s very normal, but remember there’s nothing you can do. Focus on what you can control - prenatal vitamins, good nutrition, rest, exercise if you feel like it. I’m personally not convinced the blood test or early scans help - I haven’t had anything and im 10 weeks. You need to assume everything is fine unless you have any symptoms which suggest otherwise. And don’t worry about symptoms changing mine have been different every day!

Congratulations!

Symptoms come and go all the time and it's best not to focus too heavily on them, especially so early on.

A pregnancy is a reeeallly long time but I do understand the stress and anxiety , it's natural.

Fwiw, my first pregnancy was a missed miscarriage and my symptoms never eased or disappeared. If anything, my subsequent two successful pregnancies had less intense symptoms.

Thank you for the reassurance. Very sorry to hear about the mmc. If you are happy to share, how did you find out - was it just at a regular scan?

I had an early scan two times at 6 weeks due to a UTI, it wasn't clear if things were okay on both so had to wait 2 weeks for another which was really hard.

With the 3rd loss I had a scan at 8 weeks which was all fine and then 10 weeks it showed a MMC.

I've now been diagnosed with antiphospholipid syndrome so have to have a scan about 6-7 weeks and then regular ones after that.

@eloisie had an early scan at 7 weeks, saw a lovely heartbeat. Another scan at 9 weeks and the heartbeat had stopped. Baby was measuring at 8+5, so had only just stopped growing. Baby didn't want to go naturally, so I had to have surgical management at what would have been 12 weeks.

Hi @Greenvelvetdress I am sorry to read this. It sounds terribly difficult. 🙁

@prayforthecottransfer it sounds really traumatic. I am glad to hear your other pregnancies were successful.

I only noticed earlier messages on the thread. I’m very grateful for everyone’s reassurance and I will try to do what @Peony654 said - assume everything is for the best unless I have a reason to think otherwise. It is hard to resist the urge to track darkening lines but I have stopped as I know hcg can fluctuate depending on time of day etc and I think it will just cause more anxiety.

i have started manically reorganising the flat as a project in the meantime 🙂