Are faith purchases always a bad idea? Especially in this situation (potential TW)

[ricen]

TW* discusses termination

Mid 20s couple, no known fertility issues. We conceived completely unplanned (literally, one time!) in the last 12 months but had a very early medical termination at just under 5 weeks, we both couldn’t have wanted it more but there were some life things I wanted to achieve first, the main one being marriage. I don’t regret terminating (even though it was awful and heartbreaking, and still is to think about) as I believe we will financially be better off for marrying first & having some more funds behind us - it will be a more stable position to bring a very much wanted baby into.

Before I had made a decision I had purchased a couple of token items. I held on to them for future pregnancy as we knew we were always planning to TTC about 12 months after anyway. We will try after our wedding which is soon. I was with my friend and her lovely baby the other day, we had a coffee and she was telling me how many lovely new with tags things she’s finding on Vinted for him for really good prices, a fraction of the cost in store. I had a browse for myself when I got home and really think I could spread the cost almost by starting a little collection now of bargains I find. Nothing too excessive, just a few clothing items that will be essential whatever the season e.g vests/sleep suits. Is it a completely mad idea?

I saw online people warn not to do it in case of M/C or fertility issues… we know we can conceive but maybe people say this for a reason!

Please be kind :)

Plenty of people will tell
you to go ahead.
All I can say is that if I had created a collection it would have been 10 years worth of a collection (infertility).

I think it's a totally personal decision. I've had 2 miscarriages around 10 weeks and I don't think I'll buy anything as I don't want baby things in the house which were bought for a baby we lose. I'd rather buy when there's a greater chance of bringing that baby home. Also there's something called secondary infertility, where you may have conceived but there is no guarantee you'll conceive naturally again (not to scare you - it's not the most common thing but it is a possibility).

If you are ok with having things in the house if you lose a baby, or if it takes you a long time to conceive, then there's no reason not to buy things. Personally I'd start a little savings pot and put any money you would spend on items into that, and buy them a little bit further down the line. Vinted will always have new items being posted so you won't miss out.

6-9 months is a long time to be able to buy the things you need 😊 good luck with your TTC journey xx

I absolutely would not do that, buying a few things over the 9 months of pregnancy should be enough to space things out.

Sleepsuits and vests are very inexpensive and the big ticket items you'll need pram/crib etc are not something you would buy beforehand anyway.

You really don't need very much for the first 6 months of baby life.

Just hold off if you can x

I’m not sure what the point is? Nine months is a long time to be pregnant, you have time to buy stuff. Plus people will buy you more than you need - from my own experience, stuff on Vinted with tags is the stuff we never got round to using.

If you want? But you don’t need all that much stuff as they grow so fast - you can just get it as you go.

I personally had a strong feeling I didn't want to 'jinx' things with both my pregnancies... I did one or two big shops at 37 weeks and bought pram and stuff online around the same time. Nothing before that. But it's a personal choice.

Maybe put aside the money you'd spend so it's there when you actually need to buy the stuff?