Baby blues - handhold please?

[RandomCatGenerator]

Help :(

I’m crying, again. I feel so hopeless. DH is asleep beside me. 8 day old DS is too. I’m so sad.

Please hold my hand and tell me it gets better. I didn’t have this with my first DC.

It will all be ok I promise. If you can laugh a little at the ridiculousness of it all it might just help. It’s hormone’s nothing serious I promise

Thank you.

Just had a panic attack. In bed. DH didn’t even get up. Had a cup of (decaf) tea to try to calm myself down but just trying to breathe slow and not cry now.

I thought I’d get more support here especially as Mumsnet is usually so busy at night.

now I just can add feeling stupid about this call into the abyss too.

Hi, I’m here. I understand how you feel right now, I’ve been through it. With my first child, all fine. But with my second child it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was horrible. The first step is to get help. Speak to your DH tomorrow & also book a drs appointment, Monday morning. It is so horrid, I know. If you’re up, why don’t you try watch a movie or a series on Netflix? It might keep your mind off the panic attack. Deep breaths. You will get through this.

It’s so hard, please don’t feel silly. I had this, and remember feeling as you describe. Can you wake your DP up to help?

It must feel so overwhelming to be having a panic attack when your DH and wonderful new baby are sleeping. Very lonely.

Although it feels awful now, this is very likely a hormonal response to pregnancy, birth and newborn bonding. Deep breaths, calming tea, and riding the hard times for a few weeks until it all feels a bit better is my only advice.

If you feel totally awful and sleep, tea, talking and deep breathing don't get you through each wave of overwhelm, please see your GP. They can help if they know how you're feeling. Nobody will think anything except a desire to help you, and if they do then their opinion shouldn't matter anyway. Hormones are crazy at this point, and some of us feel them more than others.

Take care xx

I was not myself when I had my second. I was panicky every night. Spoke to my midwife who said to start reading at bedtime and take my mind away. It worked for me. I did feel sad but I was so exhausted from
All the worrying.

Hi @RandomCatGenerator it will get better hun, honestly it will. You're not alone, how you're feeling is totally normal, it will pass.
Stay strong hun, you got this 💪❤

Interesting tip. Have begun to just watch mindless TV while pumping before bed, reading might be a better distraction. This is how down I feel, I can’t even think of any books I’d want to read really.

It is overwhelming @HappyAsASandboy and so so lonely. I felt so so alone.

I had baby blues for about 3 weeks after ds and I understand how absolutely awful it. I remember crying so much, feeling so much guilt and just not feeling connected to my newborn. After 3 weeks it all dissapeared and I felt so much better!
There's so much pressure on mums in the first few weeks not to even mention the hormone shift!
Look after yourself, this will pass 😊 speak to your husband/ partner about your feelings, it truly helps to speak about it.
Stay strong mamma 💪 ❤️

Hello OP, massive hugs to you. I've been where you are and my baby is nearly six months now. You are going to be fine and this does pass!
Speak up to your DH and HV/MW about how you are feeling. Try deep breathing techniques if you feel close to a panic attack. Almost everything feels better after a decent sleep - I wonder could DH take the kids offside for a few hours today for a bit of sleep/self care?
The book sounds like a good idea. I spoke to my MW as mine went on for weeks and I was so teary - I was given antidepressants but to be honest I felt that was too hasty, I used them for a while, forgot to take for a bit and noticed no difference so I don't now. But absolutely no harm in taking if needed.
For me, getting some me time and some sleep at this point if family can take over for a bit made a huge difference. You're only 9 days out of an extreme trauma to your body whatever way you look at it! Go easy and this will pass x

I had this so bad especially with my second, was constantly just fighting back tears for the first few weeks and I had no idea why and my anxiety was through the roof. I didn't end up with ppd which I was so worried about. Your body has been through so much and your hormones are all over the place. Try and rest as much as possible, easier said than done I know, and do try and get out of the house I found just going for a walk really helped with my moods, it might be an idea to talk to your midwife about how your feeling, hope you feel better soon ❤️

I was the exact same.

Our first I was on cloud9, no tears just on a high.

Second time, just as in love but couldn't stop blubbing! I was sick of myself luckily it passed within that first month.

Blabbing was horrendous and so we're the after pains second time around.

Weird.

To add, don't worry. It's completely normal and you're going to be just fine.

It's a big change and you're adjusting. 💐

Completely normal. first time mum
here and I probably cried every day for the first 3 months.

such a big lifestyle change and huge responsibility.

Please remember to be kind to yourself, you’re doing an amazing job even if you feel like you’re not. Take each day as it comes and try to enjoy it.
It’s so cruel that everything seems a blur during the first couple of months, hormones are a bitch for sure.

I used to worry something would happen while I was asleep. Reading really helped me. But speak to midwife. Mine was great

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I've had panic attacks since I was 13 and the best advice I ever got was just... let it happen. It will pass, you know it will pass, try to stay in the thing and let it happen. It helped me.

As for the baby blues, I got them badly with my first. I felt so lost and honeslty felt cheated by the universe. How could this happen to me etc. It improved by the end of week 2, was much better by week 6 and I was properly happy by the three month point. The thing that helped the most was sleep - DH taking DS1 for a four hour block each night, far enough away from our bedroom that I couldn't hear a thing. Whatever happened, he just had to cope. Look after yourself, OP.

It gets better, just try to breathe. I think I cried every day for about 2 weeks after having my daughter, and then one day I realised I hadn’t cried that day, and it started to feel better. It’s hard now, but it will get lighter again. Sending hugs 💕

Thank you everyone for the handhold. Saw the midwife today and after a look at my boobs she said I also probably have mastitis, which apparently often comes with a side order of feeling quite low. So that won’t be helping.

Thank you for the solidarity and sharing your experiences with me. Definitely has made me feel less alone. Thank you.

one day at a time as you say.

Thoughts got pretty dark last night. So just need to keep the darkest thoughts at bay too.

I promise it gets better. I had it really bad with my little girl and felt like I didn’t love her and just couldn’t cope with it. I remember sobbing to the health visitor saying how much having a baby was a huge mistake and I’d never felt so low. Her response: “all normal!” - it IS normal to feel this way but that absolutely doesn’t mean it should be treated in such a casual and normal way. It’s rough, it can really be horrific. I love my baby so much now and things one day just weren’t as rough anymore.

If you can try and have a calm chat with your partner about exactly what you need from him. I waited too long to do this and in hindsight I should’ve done it back in week 1. You are so important right now and you’ve just had a baby and your body/hormones are going absolutely nuts, please make sure you’re looking after yourself. This first few weeks really are just about survival so please don’t be hard on yourself. I promise it will get better ❤️❤️❤️

Did you tell the midwife about the thoughts you've been having?

My love, this sounds a bit more than baby blues. Please tell your midwife how you are feeling. Do you have a history of anxiety or depression?

OP if does get better 💙 I cried multiple times a day for at least the first two months. Your body has just gone through some HUGE changes. You've literally grown an entire human being and then had to go through the most arduous process a body can. Then on top of that you're handed a screaming, needy, beautiful little baby whilst you're the most exhausted anyone could ever feel.
I often think back to when my daughter was born (she'll be 1 in two weeks), and I hate that I was so hard on myself. I think this contributed to the crying. I wanted life back to normal, just with the addition of my baby, and couldn't accept that it takes time. If I could do it all again, I'd tell myself to say chilling on the sofa cuddling my baby instead of trying to clean the house and make it presentable for the abundance of guests coming to disturb our day - which again, I know made it all the more difficult.
You are incredible, and you will look back on this time with pride and empathy for your current self. And in what won't feel like long at all, your little baby will start showing you just how magical you are in their eyes through their smiles and giggles and sheer excitement when you enter the room. It's hard when you're in the stage where you just give, give, give, but your little one will be soaking up all that love and you'll see it soon 💙