What baby must-haves would you recommend that a first time mum should buy? Anything from buggies to breast pumps to books!

[CR7]

After many years of trying and heartbreaking losses, I’m finally pregnant and due early January.

I would love some advice on what you bought for your baby that you got loads of use out of and would recommend.

There is so much conflicting advice out there that I don’t know where to start. I’ve looked at some baby essential checklists but I’m not sure how good they are and some contain sponsored items which doesn't really sit well with me!

I’d love to know from real mums what you would recommend / steer clear of.

Thanks in advance!

Invest in decent baby grows/sleepsuits, Jo jo maman bebe are great, wash well and last.

Next to me cots are recommended and we used ours loads.

A baby swing is great for when you want to get things done.

A baby carrier or sling is so useful not only when out and about but also if you're home and want to get some jobs done.

If formula fed - perfect prep, saves you loads of time.

@chocciecake thank you. Very useful to read before buying, thank you!

Looking at perfect prep now thank you!

Agree with the Shnuggle bath, Ewan the Sheep and Tuppence and Crumble star snug suggestions.

Also the guys who started the Hey Bear baby sensory channel on YouTube deserve a goddamn OBE.

Also a sleepyhead or whatever they’re called these days. Bloody amazing. Both my boys moved up into the grande once they outgrew the baby one.

Hi OP, first of all congratulations! I don't think I've got anything to add that hasn't been said before but here goes :

Best thing for me was the cheeky wipes kits, I didn't use them out and about but they were fantastic in the house, didn't use them for my first but wish I had!

Some sort of baby bouncer to place baby in when small.

Metanium cream for nappy rash. Sudocrem care and protect is a good everyday cream.

I wouldn't bother with a next to me plus a moses basket, one of them yes but not both.a moses basket is handy for moving from room to room.

Ear thermometer, braun

Good thermal mug for yourself

Joie 360 car seat

Muslins, millions 😂 ditto cot sheets

Fairy non bio washing powder

Angelcare monitor, the one with the breathing sensor pad

They don't wear many outfits for the first 3-6 months

I used a normal bin for the first while as you get through so many nappies. Then I moved to the special nappy bins later, putting the wee ones in the normal bin and just the poos in the special one, as the liners are quite expensive and the bins small.

Oh one thing which may not have been mentioned - nipple shields. If baby has a tongue tie and struggles to feed these are a godsend. I probably wouldn't buy them in advance but bear them in mind (can get them in boots)

Hope I've been some help!

I actually love the idea to get loads of different parenting books from the library and read them all (if you like reading) - I agree it's a good idea to look at all different approaches as this can help - if you just read one book/follow influencers who all say the same thing/take one course, then you'll often come across some very extreme views and if you take that as gospel then you can have a bad time, especially if (for example) you're trying to follow a sleep programme and it turns out that your baby hasn't read the book!

A lot of parenting resources give the message: This method/tip/scheme is the answer, and if it doesn't work, it's because you're doing it wrong.

THIS IS BULLSHIT.

There are as many approaches to parenting as there are babies and this means that there are no right answers. Don't stress. Everyone learns by making mistakes. The baby will sleep through the night eventually. You can't hold them/feed them too much. Nothing terrible is going to happen to them if you let them [watch TV/eat chicken nuggets/insert current bogeyman here]. If the book isn't working it's probably not that you're doing something wrong, it's just the method isn't right for you.

(Of course, some people would be even more stressed out by reading 100 books, so if this is you, it's OK to wing it too!)

Some of the parenting influencers and parenting groups are also literally insane. Take them with a pinch of salt and sense check with people you know in real life who are good parents, like your own parents or your friends/family.

@Justhereforaibu1 so much help thank you! And thank you for your lovely words and taking the time to reply. Researching the cheeky wipes now x

@BertieBotts thank you for being so straight talking. I've also seen some of my friends turn their babies into a form of competition and this is the last thing I want to do. I will need to learn to go with the flow!

I agree wholeheartedly with @Spottypineapple My BBhug me is still on the bed, nearly 10 months pp!! So unbelievably comfy.

I would also recommend a peri-bottle. I don't know how I would have coped the first week without it.

Congratulations!

If you're formula feeding I'd recommend a hot water dispenser. Mines set at 65 degrees so can just make up a bottle without all the fuss of a bottle warmer or a jug of cold water. Absolute timesaver. I think I paid £60 on Amazon and it's the best thing I did

This is so true. I knew I needed a routine for my sanity, I had no idea what I was doing. I hadn't held a baby before my own 😬

But you have to take everything with a pinch of salt, read all the books, and then you find the common sense thread that connects them all and feels right to you. You don't need to stick to one thing dogmatically.

And sometimes you just have to use your instincts.

Basically, the resources are there to help you, not give you a stick to beat yourself with.

@lavenderdilly such good advice!

@Tiredjoanna really good idea x

I agree with what do they need, so easy to get caught up in all the gadgets.

Looking back I found these items the most useful.

Something to sleep in, we got a next 2 me bed and then went in to a cot.

A sleepyhead - was so handy and used it a lot! Great for when you're visiting friends etc for the whole day and you need somewhere for baby to sleep.

For our pram we got a set, Nuna mix which I loved. Came with bassinet, pushchair, car seat.

A bath support.

A bottle drying rack and a plastic tub with lid to store bits in - I liked keeping all the bits separate from everything else.

Preferred a steriliser that goes in the micro compared to electric.

Don't buy loads of blankets, Muslins or teddies. You'll get given loads and we really didn't need a lot.

Large muslins - super handy for lots of things.

Breast pumps- I really think this is a bit hit and miss depending on you. I exclusively pumped with the first. I started with a double electric pump and found it annoying, bought a much cheaper manual pump and liked it more, Hakka one done nothing for me.

We just have a simple noise baby monitor.

Buy 2nd hand where you can (apart from car seat) - babies aren't in things for long and most is as good as new.

I think just live within your means, as long as they are warm, loved, have food and somewhere to sleep that's what they need.

I also never get why people panic and do a nursery, they sleep with you for the 1st 6m anyway so keep that in mind.

@trampoline123 thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for all your great advice. Going to look at the Nuna mix now xx

Our LO is 4 months old, so here's what we have found most useful so far:

Sleepyhead for a portable sleep space/somewhere to put baby down

Stroller- our baby had reflux so we were really glad we went for one where you could use the seat unit from birth, also handy if you have a nosy baby. Ours screams if laid flat in the pram awake, but we can still recline when they nod off to follow safe sleep guidelines

Glow in the dark MAM soothers- very handy for when you're hunting for where it's gone in the middle of the night!

If formula feeding- a formula dispenser so you can make up bottles on the go rather than fading around with cool bags flasks etc

And dont forget things for you for post partum. I'd recommend a peri bottle and decent quality pads etc, sitting down can be uncomfortable as is without chafing. And batch cooking now if you have the energy will be a lifesaver when you're running on 3 hours sleep

I'd also recommend the NCT and mum2mum markets if you have near you. I've done photos for milestones and you can pick up outfits there very cheap, which is great on maternity pay and they are only in clothes for 5 minutes when they're tiny

Some other things.

We had the perfect prep in the bedroom and brought the bottles up with the formula already measured out with us to bed, which just made night feeding so much easier

Earplugs! Loop Quiet are brilliant. Partly as I am a really light sleeper and struggled to sleep when he was in the room with us. With these I could still hear him but it took the edge off so I slept better. Once I'd stopped breastfeeding my husband and I tag teamed the nights. I would do the first feed (which my husband could somehow sleep through) then go to the spare room and he was in charge of the next feed while I slept. If you have a spare room I would absolutely recommend using it 😆

Loads of breast pads and crazy amounts of maternity pads. I just felt gross and wanted to change them frequently. Witch hazel pads. Everything fridababy sell 😆

Reading this making me remember other things I found so useful.
Glow in the dark dummies( you leave them in natural light to "recharge") these are a life save when scrambling around on all fours looking for the lost dummies
We loved Ewan but switched to the dream egg as my baby kept waking when the noise from Ewan stopped.

Also you are a ways off yet but when you start weaning I would highly recommend Annabel Karmel book for weaning.

Oh and a bouncer is a life saver when trying to shower I brought it into the bathroom and showered with my baby watching me.

@Sunshineandlollipop so much good advice here! We do have a spare room so I'm definitely going to try the tag team idea! Thank you for taking the time to reply xx

Multi-mam nipple compresses for the trident early days if planning to breastfeed

A really good keep cup so that when you make a tea or coffee you will eventually actually be able to keep it warm

A few large bamboo muslin cloths which work as everything from a swaddle to a bf cover to an impromptu changing mat in the park

More babygrows than you think you'll need (they go through about 10 a day at the beginning) - but get them second hand because they outgrow each size so quickly up til about age 9 months

Spritz for Bitz to help your own healing. Apparently it's good for c section scars too.

I preferred Tena pants to maternity pads for postnatal bleeding

Make sure you have lots of spare PJs ready as due to the hormone dump you have awful night sweats for the first few weeks and might need to change at night

@YukoandHiro thank you so much! Suggestions here that no one else has mentioned! Thank you for taking the time to reply x

Don't buy a posh 'yummy mummy' shoulder bag as a changing bag, tuse a normal rucksack possibly with small packing cubes to keep things separate this means you can be hands free to tend to baby instead of having a bag slipping off your shoulder.

Bringing Up Baby is a fantastic book and great at putting your mind at rest as it looks at different parenting advice and the social history links at the time ie leave baby to sleep outside so that they are hardy - raising soldiers, Gina Ford - be on a strict schedule for all baby's needs - more working mothers, Dr Spock - more mothers at home.

One thing I'd buy now if having a baby: Noise cancelling headphones not for day to day but for when actively taking care of a baby and they are screaming from colic etc I think that rest from the cry would help lots of parents keep their cool and be calmer.

Electric nail file!

We have a camera monitor, basic one which doesn’t use wifi. We strapped it onto an extending tripod (we got for our phones for the many FaceTimes during lockdowns). It made it so easy to move around & also take out. Goes down small enough to fit in a suitcase when we’ve gone on holiday.

One for the house really but a small carpet/upholstery spot cleaner. That has been a brilliant from newborn days of explosive nappies to now where DD is 21 months and spilling things (also us lol).

This is a tip which many people may already know but I know others around me had never thought of it when I did it. Pulling Bodysuits/vests down when taking them off (especially with explosive nappies!) is so much easier than taking them over the head.

@Singleandproud just ordered "Bringing up Baby". Thanks so much xx

Congrats! I would say a white noise machine that can play endlessly is important - we had the cloud thing to begin with but as pp said I think when the noise goes off they wake up/ if they wake in the night having it constantly on tells them its still sleepy time! Ours was cheap from amazon and will be repurchasing for Baby 2 as we still use it for DD 1 who is nearly 3!!!

Huckleberry subscription is worth its weight in gold. Worked every time for timing naps and you dont have to do any complicated time maths working out wake windows yourself.

Cheeky wipes are great and we still use as hand/ face wipes now.

You will get given a million blankets, soft toys and clothes so try not to buy too many of those!

For you - I may be alone here but I didnt realise maternity pads were much different to period pads. They are. get the right ones, and get them in in advance in case your waters go in the middle of the night like mine did! I also got a kids inflatable rubber ring to sit on on the sofa to take the pressure off the stitches and piles for the days after birth, which was great. Healthy, fibrous foods for the first few days as you wont be moving much and you want to keep your gut moving to avoid discomfort.

Ask for a pelvic health physio/ mummy MOT voucher for postpartum too. Best of luck!

A safe place to set baby down everywhere you spend any significant time in the house. I did not think about what I was downstairs and just wanted to set baby down to use the downstairs loo. We had cats and cold floors so I was not comfortable with the floor. DH got sent to the store very quickly and we got a travel cot/playpen kind of thing which was also good for diaper changes.

a few clothes

some diapers

a stash of money saved up for making most of your purchases after the baby is here and you figure out what you are actually using. We ended up having a few items of clothing and one particular swaddle blanket that we vastly preferred over all others in those newborn days . So preferred we wanted multiple copies. See also the the aforementioned need for a last minute portable cot purchase.

If you are going to be breastfeeding, find a decent book with photos and explanations of what works and why.
Get some breastfeeding shells this sort of thing they are so fab! You put them inside your bra, and they help deal with leaks, and you can conserve any leakage which you can freeze for future use. If you wear one on the side you are not feeding from, it will fill up - the slight pressure plus the stimulation of the baby sucking on the other side works amazingly. Then you don't don't need to faff about with pumps, which are just mental torture!
Anything else you can buy as you need, they grow very fast so don't buy too much to start with.