Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

How many weeks pregnant feels "safe" to you?

28 replies

MonthlyNameChangeTime · 21/07/2023 10:58

Just that, curious to know when others are breathing a bit of a sigh of relief. In my head it was 27, then 28, now 30. I keep looking at preemies born at whatever mark I'm at and thinking we're not there yet. Anxiety high!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BugsyDrakeTableScape · 21/07/2023 11:01

Never felt 'safe' until they were here, but always felt a bit more confident after 25 weeks

bagforlifeamnesty · 21/07/2023 11:02

I’ve always had various milestones in my head to help get me through and minimise anxiety
8 week scan to check heartbeat
12 week scan
16 weeks hear heartbeat with midwife
20 week anomaly scan
24 weeks technically viable and also the maternity unit will take you seriously if you have reduced movements etc
28 weeks chances of problems if born early drop significantly
32 weeks was when I always felt truly “safe” as an obstetrician said to me once that 32 weekers are barely even considered prem anymore as the survival rate is so high
36 weeks I think of as being pretty much fully cooked!

At each of these milestones I felt a bit safer.

Isthisreallyok · 21/07/2023 11:04

Never felt safe until they were born, but around 24 weeks was a big milestone for me as in my head I was thinking, if they arrived now they would have a decent chance of survival.

GG1986 · 21/07/2023 11:17

I never felt safe until they were born. But less anxious after 26 weeks.

moosey89 · 21/07/2023 11:25

Never got there (2 losses at 10-11 weeks so far) but 24 weeks will be the first real point I think I'll have hope it'll be ok in a future pregnancy.

Kalodin · 21/07/2023 11:51

Once born and at home. Even then anxiety high.

Probably because I have friends whose babies have been born stillborn. And because my baby died at 5 days old.

Overthebow · 21/07/2023 11:56

Not till they’re here, but at 28 weeks I feel a bit better.

Blue2020 · 21/07/2023 12:53

24 weeks since it’s considered viable then, however once I got to 32 weeks it helped since I know a little boy born at that point.

Mine arrived at 35 weeks (technically 34+5 going by ovulation). He’s currently a happy babbling 3 month old.

PickledScrump · 21/07/2023 14:33

My eldest is 12 years old and still not safe 😂. I think it’s normal to just focus on a certain goal. So for me 8 weeks (early scan), 12 weeks, 16 weeks (cervical scan), 20 weeks, 24 week (a consult once said to me this is the point they will try to save the baby in hospital, which was a horrible thing to say as far as I’m concerned but stuck with me), 28 weeks. After 30 weeks it’s a bit better as you’re on the home stretch but still a worry of prem labour so I have a little countdown of weeks left until I meet baby rather than focusing on how many weeks I am and try to get to the 39 weeks full term mark

Sunshineandflipflops · 21/07/2023 14:36

bagforlifeamnesty · 21/07/2023 11:02

I’ve always had various milestones in my head to help get me through and minimise anxiety
8 week scan to check heartbeat
12 week scan
16 weeks hear heartbeat with midwife
20 week anomaly scan
24 weeks technically viable and also the maternity unit will take you seriously if you have reduced movements etc
28 weeks chances of problems if born early drop significantly
32 weeks was when I always felt truly “safe” as an obstetrician said to me once that 32 weekers are barely even considered prem anymore as the survival rate is so high
36 weeks I think of as being pretty much fully cooked!

At each of these milestones I felt a bit safer.

As someone who had their first baby at 31 weeks and then spent every day next to an incubator for 6 weeks praying there would be no lasting damage, I wouldn’t share your confidence that 32 weeks is barely considered prem.

timetorefresh · 21/07/2023 14:38

I didn't until they were in my arms. I know several people who had still births including one that lost her baby while in the hospital waiting for her elective section that kept being pushed back due to emergencies coming in

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 21/07/2023 14:40

Maybe when the kid is born, home and turns 18 ... maybe not even then 😅

CrispAppleStrudels · 21/07/2023 14:43

I started to feel happier at 32 weeks but then my baby developed sepsis at 23hrs old. She spent two weeks in NICU and we are very lucky she is still here. So if i am fortunate enough to have another child it will very much be take one day at a time and i doubt I will ever feel "safe".

Im very sorry to those on this thread that have lost their babies or also had very poorly or prem babies.

inloveonholiday · 21/07/2023 14:55

I never felt safe during pregnancy. Many losses before my first and I bled right through my first pregnancy which was unsettling.

Even when you've had them that worry doesn't stop. To be honest now they are young adults I'm still worrying about them all! Maybe it's just me.

Careerdilemma · 21/07/2023 15:05

Not until they were out. Still birth is far more common than many realise. I personally know 5 people in the last 4 years whose babies haven't come home.

Thankyouthankyoujellybean · 21/07/2023 15:06

24 weeks. One of my Brownies was born at 24 weeks and I knew her as a whip-smart 7-10 year old. Fantastic kid. I couldn't believe it when her parents told me.

Solongmarianne92 · 21/07/2023 20:29

I had a miscarriage before DD and didn’t really feel safe until I heard her cry for the first time.
During pregnancy, I allowed myself to buy things from 24 weeks as that’s viability, but felt a bit safer once we reached the 3rd trimester.

lljkk · 21/07/2023 20:44

Series of hurdles, 24 weeks is a big one. Best one is after you're home safe with them from hospital.

AutumnVibes · 21/07/2023 21:11

@kalodin and @moosey89 I’m sorry for what’s happened, hope you’re both okay.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 21/07/2023 21:47

I am happy when I get to 24 weeks. I don’t feel safe, but I am happy that I can talk to people about being pregnant and accept it as a fact, because the baby will get birth and death certificates and I will get maternity leave and pay no matter what happens. I feel justified in my preparation for the birth of the baby as they have to technically be born after that point, no matter what.

For my babies lost just before that point, they didn’t get anything, no birth certificate, no death certificate, there was no maternity leave, no maternity pay I was expected straight back to work and time off afterward was not protected as sickness during pregnancy is - because I was no longer pregnant. They legally didn’t exist, there is no record of them anywhere and nobody ever remembers or mentions them at all.

Garman · 21/07/2023 22:00

Same as @Sunshineandflipflops , had a baby at 34 weeks and she was very ill in her first days, itwas then I discovered that late pre term babies are known for being much more unpredictable than earlier preterm babies. They can be fine, or can really struggle and go downhill rapidly, underdeveloped and often less fight in them than the smaller babies, but a bigger body with more energy requirements that they need to fight for. Until about 36/37 weeks it’s always scary, slightly less scary after that but still I didn’t ever relax until baby and I were home about two weeks and all okay.

AutumnVibes · 22/07/2023 08:27

@InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits How awful for you, so sorry. I hope that the law might change on this to protect women suffering baby losses at whatever stage and to acknowledge those babies as real too.

TakeMe2Insanity · 22/07/2023 08:29

The moment they had over a healthy alive baby.

MushroomQueen · 22/07/2023 09:15

I had a threatened labour at 31 weeks and had to stay in hospital on total bedrest for a week - then bedrest at home for remainder- consultant said until 35 weeks they'd admit me in hospital and prevent labour if possible- after they wouldn't stop it as baby would have v good chances.

Babybabybabyy · 22/07/2023 09:48

24/25 weeks was the first big milestone for me but I knew a baby born at 29 and although she survived it was a massive ordeal for the parents to go through so I felt like I was still desperately praying nothing would happen early. I made it past that and started thinking after 32 weeks at least I’d made it that far and now I’m close to 37 and will be ‘happy’ when I hit that as I think most babies by then wouldn’t need breathing help. Really I will still be nervous until baby is actually out though