When should I have #2?

[Petesmum]

My DS is nearly 2 and I've suddenly become very broody (more so than before I had DS )However we did say that after the traumas of DS and the lack of sleep we'd not have anymore - even though we both wanted 2 in the begining. DP is happy to consider having another & if I nagged sufficiently he'd agree

The problem is, when should we try for another? What is the ideal age gap? Part of me thinks that as soon as possible is better so that we don't become too acustomed to having sleep & the children can play together. On the other hand, two under the age of 3 could be a bit of a handful & we've only just got the hang of looking after DS....Advice please!

Just let nature take its course - don't think there is an ideal gap. Although if you are young you could wait until first is at school, so you can do the 'sleep when baby sleeps' thing

Hi Petesmum!
I don't think there is any ideal age gap - whatever gap you end up with you work with and you just make it ideal for your family!
I have a dd who's 3 and we are having a second in a few weeks time. 'Ideally' we would have loved a smaller age gaps for different reasons, but I've had a few m/c and other problems in the past year, so you just can't count on having the gap you want.
Lots and lots of luck if you decide to go for number 2!!

I would say the sooner the better - i find close aged siblings play better & are more likely to enjoy same day out if closer in age. My girls are 7, 5 & 3 and all play well together.
In many ways I think having more than 1 is less work once you are past the first 18mnths or so as they play together & are less demanding of you. Also happy to be at home rather than oout seeing friends etc.

agree with the above, don't think there is an ideal gap, ss is 6 and loves his 13mth old half sister to bits, so I can say that works well, but we're gona attempt another in the next year, so she'll be 2.5/3 I reckon if luck is on our side, so who knows how dd will react, but ss can't wait! (wants another brother!) I think so long as you treat them all with respect, they'll respect you in turn and bar the odd usual tantrum, all will get on great. (works so far!)

i got pregnant when ds was 14months old. he's now 2.5 and ds2 is 9 months. its lovely that they're starting to play together. ds1 builds towers for ds2 to knock down. christmas this year is going to be fab as they are both young enough to be wowed by christmas lights and trees.

I fell pg with ds2 when ds 1 was 7 months old. I am pg with #3 and there will be 23 months between ds2 and the new baby. I will end up with three of three and under. A total handful - but I am 36, I don't want to hang around, we would like three kids and I couldn't imagine having a nappy-free gap and then starting all that again. If I don't get my act together I will end up with three in nappies though!! I MUST start potty training ds1 who is 2.8!!! (struggling though as rather sick with this pg!) It's such an individual choice - go for it!

I'm with MommyD and Athomemum, close is good (dd is 15months and I'm 8 weeks pregnant Hoorah) DH has nieces close in age who play together lovely, plus I couldn't really stand to get out of nappies and sleepless nights only to return to them. Also, I think it'd be nice if they were at similar ages so family holidays could suit their ages, if you see what I mean? BUT pregnancy tiredness has just hit me for six and its not easy with a toddler and working four days a week, so I can see why people wait too.

i have a 24 month age gap and although its very hard most days i do think its lovely. dd1 adores her wee sister and dd2 is mesmerised by her big sister, following her with her eyes and watching and listening (dd2 is 8 wks). my brother and i are 24 months apart and we are the best of friends, really, my brother is my best mate. lots of luck whatever you decide in the end Petesmum!

my DD is 2yrs 8mths and 2nd is due in august 05. personally this is ideal for me as DD will be out of nappies, going to school in the mornings, and i can reason with her which i don't think could happen any earlier.

its personal choice and there is never a right time to have a baby ....

I'm currently wondering this too - but I have problems conceiving, so probably shouldn't wait too long. DS is only 8 months, so if I do fall pg quickly, we'll have quite a small gap. But I think I only want two (well, I'm very happy with one - lovely little soul he is), so I'm prepared for it to be hard work, then to get easier more quickly than if we have a bigger gap, iyswim.

As others have said, whatever gap you have is right for your family, I'm sure. There are pros and cons for every gap, I reckon!

agree blossom2 ther e is never a right time - just go for it i say

Thanks for all you advice even if I'm still undecided. I'm 30 and while I know my biological clock isn't going to run out just yet (fingers crossed) it did take us the best part of a year to catch with DS - couple of problems along the way. However you could put money on murphy's law working this time & the moment my coils out, I'll catch. Although now we have DS the opportunities for mother nature to work her magic are rather restricted ifywim!

I wouldn't have wanted a smaller gap than the three years there will be between my two - I have really enjoyed just having ds and I don't think I would have been such a good mummy with two younger children. But that's just me. It has to be your decision.

im in the same(ish) situation. I have a 5mo dd and DH is getting real itchy for another once she reaches 1yo - im not sure... do i have them close and hope dd accepts "new baby" will need lots of attention or do I wait until dd is older and run the risk of them hating each other? There is 4 years between me and my brother, and we hated each other until I hit 16 when we could get on as friends rather than siblings... we are now so close its unreal!!!

First time round it took a month to get pregnant..second time it took 7 months so even though I declared I wanted a certain gap I now realise you can never predict what will happen. (DS will be 3.1 when DS2 is born in Feb). I was told by friends that aim for the smallest gap that you feel you and your first born would be happiest with and then take it from there.