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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Worried friends are arranging a surprise baby shower!

3 replies

Babybabybabyy · 16/07/2023 23:56

Lots of my friends have had baby showers over the years and I’ll happily attend/make a fuss of other people. I’m the same with parties/hen do’s etc but when it comes to something for me I just hate it. I hate the idea of the whole thing and it would be my worst nightmare. I hate the thought of people ‘having’ to buy me a gift when they’ll most likely bring something when the baby arrives too.

I’m an anxious person and just really struggle with being the centre of attention. My friends are well aware of this but we’re going for lunch next weekend when I’ll be 37 weeks and I’m now really fearing it’s actually a surprise baby shower. I have read between the lines of something a friend said and my husband has asked about it which makes me think they’ve contacted him 🤦🏻‍♀️ Obviously it’s lovely I have nice friends who want to make the effort but I just can’t cope with the fact I don’t want one and I’ll be expected to walk in and act surprised when I’ve literally asked not to have one 🙈 I’m being so ungrateful but I know lots of you on here aren’t a fan of them! 😩

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Pawpatrolsucks · 17/07/2023 00:00

Talk to your DH and get him to intervene. It’s ok not to want one.

However I have been to a lunch catch up baby shower and it was very different to a party. It was just lunch and we gave gifts. No game’s just a nice day out.

Karrpt · 17/07/2023 00:14

My friends all knew I absolutely did not want any baby shower nonsense. One of my best friends ignored this (because apparently I'd love it when I got there). Thankfully, another friend tipped me off and I told her and DH to cancel it all in no uncertain terms.

Why don't you just tell your DH or the organiser of the dinner that you will not be attending any baby shower and to make that abundantly clear to everyone.

BlossomTheUnicorn · 17/07/2023 07:40

I totally relate to this. For my first baby my friends organised a surprise baby shower and I knew nothing about it. I arrived home from a lovely, relaxing pregnancy yoga class and my partner said he fancied going out for dinner... so I got changed into very casual clothes and off we went...only to arrive at a surprise baby shower. Everyone was so dressed up, people I would have invited hadn't been invited etc. I really appreciated the thought (I think... I do still feel annoyed) but wish I'd had the chance to pick something comfortable and nice to wear, invited other people I would like to have been there and more so that people had listened when I said I didn't want one 🤣 Maybe different if you have a "baby shower list" so you actually get items you still need to buy... that be helpful... but otherwise you can end up with a lot of stuff you need to find somewhere to put and haven't had a choice in getting it! Definitely voice your opinion and make sure your friends know.

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