Pregnant and scared to have sex

[Kelb79]

Bit of history….
4 years TTC with 1 MMC, 3 round of OE IVF with only aneuploid embryos and now 8+2 from first round of DE IVF (cautiously 🥳❤️)

In my first pregnancy we had a 7 week scan with a heartbeat but a week later I had a tiny bleed, had a scan the following day and the heartbeat had stopped 💔
we had had sex the night before the bleed.

everything you read says that sex doesn’t cause MC but I just can’t get it out of my head that it might have done.
OH isn’t pressuring me at all, has only ever mentioned it in a lighthearted jokey way. And I know he’ll respect my feelings 100% for as long as I need. But I miss the intimacy AB’s I feel like I’m being silly… I just can’t get over it!! 😩😩

You can have intimacy without penetrative sex, which I can fully understand feels wrong for you at the moment. You are not being silly at all.

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Firstly, sex does not cause miscarriage and you did not cause your first miscarriage.

Secondly, only do what you are comfortable with. Because of my previous miscarriage and issues this pregnancy we've not had sex at all since I got pregnant. And for me I feel like this is how I'll be for any future pregnancy too, I'm just not comfortable doing it and my boyfriend understands. If you miss intimacy you can do other stuff not just sex!x

I had bleeding early in this pregnancy which all turned out ok, currently 25 weeks and we haven't had penetrative sex once, and I don't think we will. We have been intimate other ways and we are both ok with that. If you don't want to do it, just don't. Just keep communicating with each other and be honest so it doesn't cause a rift between you or anything.

Sex doesn't cause miscarriage but sex should be loving, enjoyable and fun. If you don't feel ready for it, just wait - it's more important for you to feel relaxed. You can always see how you feel later on in pregnancy.
It's great your partner is supportive - maybe just say to him how you're feeling and have a laugh about it.
And as someone else has said - you don't need to have penetrative sex, maybe just a little bit of intimacy and fun ;)

I have not had a miscarriage but I bled lightly in 2 of my pregnancies and it was usually after sex that it would happen. I'm sure the blood was already there and the act of sex itself just made it come out quicker. Likewise if my period is imminent, sex can start it immediately. So I'm sure once you started to miscarry, whether you had sex or not it would have still happened. You are not silly to feel the way you feel at all though. Maybe you could discuss your worries with your midwife.

Thanks everyone ❤️
My rational brain knows everything you’re all saying…. But my irrational brain keeps fighting to take over 🫣🫣 I think I’m just so anxious at the moment - I’m around the same time in this pregnancy as when I miscarried last time 😵‍💫
I actually do want to have sex with my partner, I miss that connection, but I think I need to wait until the 12 week mark and approach it gently 🙏🏼

I was super cautious - I bled lightly after sex in the first trimester and it really freaked me out. Everything was completely fine but it just wasn’t worth the stress.

Ive got my mojo back now (post about 14 weeks) and back to normal. Just take everything slowly and only do what you’re comfortable with, but it does get less stressful! Just enjoying it before my bump gets too big.