Breast Feeding Phobia

[inkibaby]

I know this is supposed to be the most natural thing in the World but I am completely horrified by breast feeding.
Don't mind other people doing it, I'm just really not comfortable with it for myself.
I have always had extremely sensitive nipples, you only have to whisper their name and they get super hard and sensitive. I can barely cope with them being touched. And aside from that, I've never seen them as a beautiful natural source of food for my baby, I view them as purely sexual. The thought of a baby attached to them quite literally makes me feel sick.
I am currently pregnant (very early days) but I am already feeling the dread of breast feeding pressure for when he/she is born.
With my previous 2 children I bottle fed without issue. But this time round I know my new partner will definitely want me to go the all natural route. And his mother would never abide me using formula or using plastic bottles either.
I really don't want it to be an issue and don't want him to be disappointed with me. I have started looking into exclusively pumping as a way of feeding. I know the benefits of breast milk and I would like the baby to have the best, but if I'm completely honest the thought of that pump on me makes my skin crawl too.

Does anyone else have this aversion to breast feeding? How did you overcome it? Or has anyone got any positive stories about exclusively pumping?

It’s your body and your breasts, and frankly your partner and certainly their mother can get to fuck with their opinions. You’ve reared two bottle fed babies with no issues from the sounds of it. If MIL makes a fuss tell her she can relactate and get stuck in if she likes.

Your body your choice. What’s disgusting is your partner and his mother trying to push something you that you’re clearly not comfortable with. If you want to overcome it for you and your baby then yeah talk to your midwife, take an NCT course etc but for the reasons you’ve mentioned not a chance in hell.

What the flip does it have to do with your partners mother?

I’m BFing right now, but if my MiL was like that I’d make a point of Ffing in front of her. Possibly I’m a cow.

Do what suits you. Everyone else can fuck off.

What you describe is not a phobia. Please don’t medicalise a dislike in order to justify your actions, as it’s very disrespectful to people with actual phobias. If you don’t want to breastfeed you don’t need to. It’s none of anyone’s business other than yours. I can’t see how pumping would be any better - you’re still attaching things to your nipples.

You have two children bottle fed and I am assuming they are healthy and hearty?

Nobody gets a say in your choices for your body! And nobody has a right to "be disappointed" with those personal choices. Talk to your medical team for some support in you expressing your choices.

I bottle fed for similar reasons and because I was not going to be the 24hrs parent while their father slept! So we fed both children (healthy/hearty) every second bottle so we both got sleep and were better parents for it!

I fully support and will join any campaign to support better support for those who want to breast fed.

I was exactly like this when I was pregnant with my third, I had bottle fed my first two and the thought of breastfeeding the new one was a nope nope and nope but I said I’d give it a go despite hating anyone or anything near my nipples throughout my life.

Well I tried when he was born and I was surprised how much it didn’t bother me in the slightest, we gave the odd bottle and he ended up with a bottle preference and rejected me feeding him but I decided I didn’t want to give up and got him back to the breast. And breastfed until 10 months. For me it was the bond with the baby.

So I’m a convert and tbh I wouldn’t have tried had I not felt some pressure to breastfeed from family.

I will breastfeed this one, exclusively this time, all being well.

What the actual fuck does this have to do with your partner or his mother? What they think is of no consequence at all so don't let them bully you.

If you want to formula feed then do it and absolutely refuse to feel guilty. Formula is perfectly good for babies.

All three of mine were exclusively formula fed. Thankfully nobody apart from one overly officious midwife tried to tell me it should be otherwise, and even she didn't push it far because we made clear that my decision had been made and would not be changed.

This might be my favourite reply 😂

I had an aversion to breastfeeding and still do. I just bottle fed my baby and that was fine for all of us. I am very happy with my choice and love that my husband got to have that bonding time when baby was tiny and did his fair share of the night wakeups.

If anyone questioned it, I just firmly said we were happy using formula and refused to be shamed.

Nobody has the right to tell you what to do with your breasts (or any other part of your body) but you. If he (or his mother) think they have any right to push you into BF then they can sod right off.

You haven’t got a phobia, you’ve got self esteem issues. Stand up for yourself. If your DP wants to breastfeed, let him use his own nipples. Until then, your body, your decision.

I wouldn't say I have a phobia but I'm not going to be breastfeeding. I also have sensitive nipples and do not want my baby going near that area. I have had my mum lecture me on the benefits of breastfeeding, which I know there are many, but no one will change my mind.

No one else should get a say in what you do with your body! If your MiL and your partner want to voice their opinions, let them feel heard but stay strong and say no it's not what you'll be doing. It's your choice and nobody else's!

Your partner and his mother can sod right off. Your body your choice. If you don't want to breast feed then you don't have to. That's it. End of. No need to explain to anyone why you have made that choice because it is your choice!

'Well, they're my boobs and the answer is no.' That should do it.

Just wanted to say that I too have very sensitive nipples but BFing is a very different feeling to them being stimulated sexually.

Having said that, you don't have to BF if you don't want to and it's definitely not up to your DP's M how you feed your baby.

Nipples really make me cringe, mine are sensitive and I hate them being touched. I agree with the above poster that breastfeeding is a very different sensation (thankfully!). I'm currently BF my 5 month old, and whilst there are plenty of times I don't enjoy it I'm still happy to do it and thankful that it is going well. I don't like pumping so haven't got a freezer stash like most and my babies never had a bottle, I had to hand express colostrum (I say had to, I could've said no but I struggle to) when she was first born to encourage her to wake and latch as she was very sleepy, now that I hated doing and didn't do it again. She was just recovering from birth, but the midwives were very keen to keep waking her very often to latch. Don't do it if you don't feel comfortable, your partner and MIL need to accept that

I felt exactly the same as you but wanted to give it a try and 6 months on we're still going and i love it.

HOWEVER

I wanted to try. It does not matter what anyone else wants. At all.

I had an aversion to breastfeeding. I thought it was gross and had no interest in it. I tried it with my first and hated it, and somehow managed to do it for 12 weeks. I remember the last breastfeed I gave him and almost skipping for joy as I could put that behind me and move on with exclusive formula feeding.

When I was pregnant with baby number two, I suddenly thought, 'hold on- I actually want to breastfeed this one!' Exclusively breastfed her for 1 year.

Baby number 3 is 17 months old and I am still breastfeeding her. I fought through many hurdles at the start to breastfeed, that I never would have dreamt of with Baby number 1.

Breastfeeding can be brutally difficult to establish. Latch, position, supply, tongue ties, engorgement, cracked bleeding nipples, mastitis, leaking boobs, blocked ducts. You need to be bloody minded and deeply rooted in determination to get through the first hurdles, and if you don't have that inner determination because you are doing it to please somebody else then it's not going to work.

Formula is a perfectly safe alternative to breastmilk and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. By all means give it a try if you like, but don't feel breastfed because you feel you have to. It has to come from you.

Take care, OP.