miscarriages at 43

[lostinspace00]

Hi, a new poster so not really sure what I'm looking for, but possibly encouragement or advice, even if it's not what I'd like to hear.

I've never had problems getting pregnant, but I've just had my third consecutive miscarriage at 43, and all in the past 10 months. I will keep trying but really is there any point at 43? I'm worried this is indicative of my age and that it's game over for me. I'm not sure I want to go through any more miscarriages as this one was very painful and I'm sick of grieving.

Thank you x

Can you be referred for investigations after having three miscarriages? I wouldn’t despair totally just yet as it may be something that can be supported. You’re getting pregnant, which is really positive, but it may be that something like progesterone supplements can sustain the next pregnancy if you’re lucky enough to have one.
I do know what you means about the psychological toll. If there is any way you can manage it, I would do everything possible, starting with a trip to the GP, but also somehow keep yourself so occupied that it doesn’t take up your entire headspace. Not easy.
But good luck 🤞

That's really kind, thank you for responding.

Yes, it takes its toll mentally and I feel empty and grief stricken today. The latest one was yesterday and it was worse than any other, like full labour pains. I'll keep trying and push for the supplements and see if that helps. I get pregnant very easily which, like you say, is half the battle, so that's a good start.

thank you : )

I'm so sorry. Definitely get referred for recurrent loss checks. Could be something like baby aspirin and / or progesterone could help next time, as pp says.

Have you read It Starts With the Egg? The recommended supplements are on the website. I found that so useful, and we went on a supplement binge and high veg, fruit and wholegrain, low meat and dairy diet. I think the large doses of antioxidants really helped with our sperm and egg quality, and actually the ubiquinol really made me feel full of energy also.

You've had 3 miscarriages so you should be able to get some help from your local medical teams. I saw the miscarriage expert when I was having issues.
I had low progesterone and feel Agnus castus helped me, it's also called Vitex, have a look and see if it is something that may help

Also are you either a bit u see or over weight? It can mess up oestrogen as it's fat residing, I am over weight and always had more success when I shifted a little weight, I've also seen lots of painfully slim friends have difficulties and more success when just gaining a little weight

That's all really helpful advice, thank you. I was half expecting everyone to say 'what do you expect at 43' so I'm grateful it hasn't been that brutal! I'll definitely check It Starts with an Egg and definitely should improve my diet, which is not the best!

No, I'm not overweight and been stable at 8.5 stone since I was about 18, so highly doubt that's an issue. I've been referred to a specialist and hope that they act quickly as I'm 44 in almost a year and I feel so much pressure as time is ticking and I don't have the luxury of taking my time to get over it and wait until things settle.

Thanks so much everyone.

Gosh I hear you, im also 43 and trying for my first. Stay strong and stay positive, you are doing all the right things and it will happen very soon for you xx

I was in the same position at 42, my losses were down to egg quality. Statistically at 43 80-90% of embryos will be genetically abnormal so my consultant said it was a matter of keeping going until we got a ‘good egg’. After 4 miscarriages under her care our 5th attempt went to term and was perfectly healthy.

OMG I didn't realise the statistics were that stacked against me at 43! I purposely didn't google it because sometimes ignorance is bliss. Not sure progesterone or any other assistant can help if the embryos are genetically abnormal so it may be a case of keep going and hope for the best, but realistically, it might not happen if it doesn't happen in the next 2/3 attempts.

Thank you.

@lostinspace00 no don't give up hope. Try the high dose antioxidants for you and your partner, especially the ubiquinol. It takes three months for full effect, but should improve sperm and egg quality.

Hi, I am so sorry for your losses. They really do take a mental toll on you. Please mind yourself. I am 30 and have had 3 miscarriages and one TFMR. I have had testing but nothing strange has shown up. My DH already has a child so unlikely to be a problem his end. The resounding answers have just been that we are very unlucky. I am currently 5 weeks and taking progesterone this time round. However we have both decided if this doesn't stick we won't be trying again. On the flipside, a 43yr old friend of mine has just announced she is 3 months pregnant having had fertility struggles since her 20's! The body works in mysterious ways.

@lostinspace00 I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you anything I didn’t think you already knew and I certainly didn’t want to discourage you. Absolutely keep going, you can get pregnant which is the most important thing. Read that book and try to improve your egg quality, throw the kitchen sink at it with aspirin and progesterone, that’s what I did and I got there in the end so you will too.

The fact you can get pregnant very easily still is a good sign. He’s probably just that your progesterone levels are too low to sustain a pregnancy. This is a fairly easy fix worth mentioning to your doctor.

Thank you all for your responses. I don't know how to respond to individual posts (never posted anything before!) so sorry for not responding individually.

Looks like I'm putting the Oyster Bay and crisps back in the cupboard and will be chomping on kale soup for a while! I'll definitely mention progesterone the next time I get pregnant, hopefully in the next 5-6 weeks, so I'll wait and see. In the meantime, this weekend I'll go all out and drink lots of wine and eat processed rubbish before I throw everything at it next week.

I feel so encouraged, thank you all xxx

I am sorry you are going through that..., I had previous miscarriages too and I know how hard it is... I myself found a lot of help on acupuncture and seeing a traditional chinese doctor, additionally from a fertility doctor, I am 21 weeks pregnant.
this book helped me a lot, is not only about conceiving but the importance of the first trimester care to keep your pregnancy Fertility Wisdom: How Traditional Chinese Medicine Can Help Overcome Infertility by Angela C. Wu | Goodreads

good luck!!

Hi
just wanted to drop in and say you’re totally supported on here - so many women are in this same boat. It’s horrid and feels totally cruel.

I’m on my 3rd mmc and I’m getting frustrated by the whole situation. Hopefully we can all find our way forward! Xx

Don't give up. I had 2 miscarriages at 41 and 42 within 14 months. Everyone was referring me for IVF due to most probable chromosomal abnormalities (age). I was very scared of IVF and financially we were not in the best place (circa 13K) as we just bought and refurbished a new flat. I started taking v high dose of umbiquinol and 150 of aspirin daily alongside my high quality pre conception vitamins. 7 months after during the month we moved to a new place and after having a bad flu caused by the stress i found out we were expecting. Healthy and happy baby boy at 43- the only month we did not actively try as both were exhausted. Combination of not thinking about it and all supplements helped. Best of luck!!!

Jumping in late on this thread as am in similar position. I'm just 43 and delayed childbirth due to career - basically gave my best child bearing years to my business. Now feel so stupid

Started trying age 40 - 2x natural conceptions MCS, 4x IVF 2MC and 2 CP. I started all the supplements this year and although they definitely improved our fertilisation rate in IVF - the latest 2 cycles I had DET - first 2 only SETs and this latest time the best quality embryo they ever saw from me - I felt them implant and tested positive around 6DPT they didn't make it 😪 I found out yesterday.

The regret/guilt at not trying earlier is killing me - I also can't bear social occasions involving other people's kids 🥺

My consultant is pushing me towards DE but I want to try naturally for 6 months or so to know for sure I did everything I could- albeit too late.

I admire anyone trying naturally age 40 + I'm hindsight i don't think IVF was the right decision for me I wish I'd have chilled out and tried naturally when I was 40. IVF is hugely complex and I don't feel many of the UK based centres are sufficiently skilled to ensure the best outcome based on an individual. It is a huge money spinner and they know how vulnerable women like me are - we are willing to try anything and have the financial resources. Yet don't mention the basic stuff in It Starts with the Egg - although it's all evidenced based. Obvs there are good IVF centres in UK

So keep going all you oldies like me hearing any 40 + success stories is amazing