Minefield - OMG - Shared Parental Leave and Shared Parental Pay

[Taishan]

Little bit of a rant.

I am fortunate to earn almost double my husbands salary, which his is already quite good.

We are expecting our little one to join us around middle of January 2024.

My husband will be totally giving up his job, and will be the full time stay at home parent.
But before that, it looks like he can get 2 weeks paternity,

This suits me great, as I love my job, and he hates his.

I want to go back to work as soon as I really can.

From the government website, it looks like I can get 90% of my weekly earning for the the 2 compulsory weeks, and the following 4 weeks.
After that, my benefit is reduced to just £172.48 per week.
So it makes perfect sense to us, if I go back to work after 6 weeks, when my benefit is reduced from around £900 per week to just £172.48 per week.

Sadly my husbands benefit is maxed out at the government cap of £172.48

So if I go back to work after 2 weeks, and if I have read and understand correctly, my husband will always only get the £172,48 and we will lose £727.52 (£900.00 - £172.48) a week for the 4 weeks.
Total money lost 4 x £727.52 = £2910.08

It would be great if my husband could get the missing money somehow.

Looks like he will be eligible for 37 weeks shared parental leave at £172.48 a week.

There's a really good shared leave calculator on the HMRC site where you can put in by week who will be off and it shows you what you're eligible for :)

https://www.gov.uk/plan-shared-parental-leave-pay

We did the same thing - although I’ll say that once baby was here, I struggled with leaving him, and the pressures of being the breadwinner have felt a lot heavier. But my DH is a SAHD, and they have a brilliant bond, and it’s saved us a fortune in nursery costs each month. I work full time again; but have managed to have a couple of months off here and there; and I’m aiming towards only working mornings; or three/four days a week. I love my job and wouldn’t want to give it up, being a SAHM isn’t for me, I don’t think; but I was unprepared for how much I want to be with baby.

It could also be worth thinking about parent groups - I felt quite “left out” in many of mine, as they’d do things together but I’d be at work. They did invite DH, which was sweet of them, but it is another thing that adds to the mum guilt.

In terms of pay - does his employer offer anything above statutory?

It depends if his employer offers more than the statutory amount. Monetary wise you'd be better staying off for the 6 weeks that you get 90% of wages and then sharing the rest of the time with him.

Are you saying you want to go back after two weeks or after six? When baby is here, I can almost guarantee you'll want the full six weeks to physically recover, by which point your DH will get the same stat pay you would, so I don't really see what the problem is? You get 90% pay for those six weeks and then DH carries on with the stat pay. Unless I'm totally misunderstanding your post?

I’ll probably get absolutely jumped upon, but there’s a chance you’ll feel differently about baby once they’re here and you’re bonded. You might not want to go back to work after 2 weeks (6 weeks?). Anyone I know (myself included) who thought they were going back 9/6 months or less ended up changing their mind

I went back to work after 8 weeks, exDH didn't work anyway so I needed to get back work as a necessity. Can't help with the shared parental leave money, but just saying, not everyone has the luxury or desire to stay at home.

Having said that, I'm now 19 weeks with my 3rd, different set up entirely and planning 9 months off - have to say, petrified at the idea of it right now!!!

Do both of your employers only offer statutory maternity / paternity pay?

It partly depends on the nature of your job but even a straightforward birth is very tough on your body and it would be very wise to allow yourself proper time to recover physically from the birth. If you have complications or birth injuries you may need longer than six weeks.

It isn’t a luxury to take more than eight weeks to recover if you have complex birth injuries. I couldn’t physically have walked through the door of my workplace at six weeks pp and I would have struggled and been in significant pain at eight.

If you earn decent money does your employer not offer enhanced maternity pay?

Have you checked the shared parental leave section of his contract? It sounds silly but it's separate to the paternity leave section, and we discovered my partner got several months of full pay. He had previously just read the paternity leave section which was the standard two weeks full pay.

Surely it makes sense to go plan at least to go back after 6 weeks?

I couldn’t walk at 2 weeks post birth.
whats your plan with breastfeeding? If you’re hoping to express its can be very hard but a lot of American women go back that quickly so you might need to find the US mumsnet equivalent for tips!

Are you both employed or self employed. What, if any, enhancements do you get.

You earn annual leave while out on maternity / SPL so it’s worth your DH’s while to take all the leave he can, even if unpaid as he will get a nice little bonus of holiday pay when he does leave.

As for you, 2 weeks might be the minimum but it isn’t enough. Especially if you have a c section. If you have an easy vaginal birth like I did you’ll feel OK physically after birth, but mentally is a whole other picture.

Agree with the posters who are saying that returning to work 2 weeks after giving birth is an optimistic scenario. I had infected stitches the first time, virtually no sleep whatsoever and really could barely sit down or stand. Good luck though.

It is really depressing that anyone still thinks of maternity leave as a luxury. I can't say the three months I spent with an open wound in my perineum felt especially luxurious. Hopefully OP will bounce back quickly after a straightforward birth but it's naive not to be prepared to allow for a proper physical recovery as you would with any convalescence or rehabilitation after a major procedure.

I was wondering this. Everywhere I've worked has offered enhanced maternity pay. I get 6 months full pay!

I wouldn't consider going back after 2 weeks. If you have a c-section, you'll need 6 weeks to start. I had a very straightforward vaginal birth and I don't think I managed to leave the house for several days. You need need time to rest and recouperate after the birth. You'll still be bleeding and have an open wound inside your womb. Enjoy the time you have at home with baby. Six weeks is literally no time at all.

Thanks for all the great replies from so many wonderful people.

It looks like my husband is entitled by his company top have 6 weeks full pay.
For this he must be the primary care giver, (male or female)
He will be, as I will be back off to work.
I really can't stay at home more than 4 weeks, I really love my work.
I will explain all this to my super boss when the time is better, when my bump is showing more.

However rather than do no work, and get 90% pay.
I am going to suggest to him, that I will work from home for the 4 weeks, and to give me the 100% pay, just going into the office for 1 or 2 hours, 1 or 2 days a week, for wet signature signings.
He is a great boss, I am sure you can understand.

Thanks for the calculator,
When our baby is born, he will be primary care giver from the off, and should get his 6 weeks full pay.
Then he plans to get the remaining 33 weeks, or whatever it is at the £172 a week.
He absolutely will not be going back to work from the day our baby is born.

Why exactly are you having a baby if you want to completely ignore the 4th trimester? Unbelievably selfish! Maternity leave exists for a reason, newborns need their mothers and not their fathers in those early months. Equality in parenting comes later, this is basic biology.
A job is a job, if you can’t step away from it for 6 months theirs something really wrong with your mental health.

I hope your pregnancy goes really smoothly OP looking at your other posts your 42 and have gone through IVF to have this miracle baby. Those two things could have an effect on your pregnancy and recovery afterwards. I think you need to plan for the scenario where you're unable to work after the first 2 weeks and need more time.

You sound completely unprepared for having a baby.
Whether you take 4, 6, 8 weeks or 9 months is irrelevant, but you seem to be under the impression that you'll pop baby out and life will continue as it is now.

What about crash sections and prolonged hospital stays.
The bone aching tiredness of not being able to sleep sometimes for days whilst in Labour and then being handed a human to look after.
The sleepless nights, the hormonal upheaval.
Two weeks post partum the last thing you'll want to do is open a laptop and do a full days work on repeat.

You might be one of the very lucky ones.

Don’t think you are allowed to work first 2 weeks after giving birth

I think she means take the 2 weeks that are complusary and then work at home for the remaining 4 weeks. I hope so anyway.

You cant work by law for the 1st 2 weeks. Shared parental leave gives you up to 50 weeks leave and 37 weeks pay to share as those 1st 2 weeks have to be taken.

You can be off at the same time as him.

I went back to work fulltime when dd was 7 weeks old, because i loved my job and while i loved my baby i was already going stir crazy at home.
I had a complicated forceps delivery and i was ok by 7 weeks
most Mnetters love to say about how awful the post partum bit is and how they couldn't stand up let alone go to work but i felt fine, expressed milk at work and breast fed baby until she was 5 months.
second baby i had 10 weeks off ...

i would suggest you take the 6 weeks at 90% if that is what your company offer and then your husband will get his 2 weeks full pay ...then at 8 weeks you will be on whatever you will get between you for the rest of baby's first year.
might be worth financially planning for what happens then ?

however if you really think you cannot financially manage for 6 weeks on your 90% pay then i would ask how you intend to manage when you no longer have stat mat pay ?

Why would you not want to stay at home for the 4 weeks (after the initial 2 weeks) on 90%? I can’t make your post make sense. You love your job - that’s great! But 4 weeks is no time at all. You must take holiday sometimes surely?

Also it’s 6 weeks maternity pay and then on to statutory only? Is that right? I’m surprised because most reasonably well paid jobs (assuming yours is one as you will be the sole earner) offer more leave than that.