Unplanned Pregnancy

[EJT91]

I’ve been with my boyfriend just over a year (officially) today I found out I’m pregnant and it’s very much unplanned. I’m around 4 weeks. It’s safe to say we’re both terrified. He has a child from a previous relationship, but this will be my first. His biggest worry is finances (we’re fine in this department, he just always worries) my biggest fear is our relationship changing. We had so many plans for this year that we won’t now be able to fulfil. I’m worried he will look at me different after I’ve had a baby, that our time
together will change and just our whole relationship dynamic. He’s assured me everything will be fine in that department because he loves me, but I’ve been an absolute mess all day worrying that we will become that couple that don’t talk anymore and it’s all about our kids. Our relationship is the most important thing to me and the thought of that changing is really upsetting me. We also don’t currently live together and I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to give up my house. It’s all very scary. Did anyone else feel like this?

Sorry for the anxiety you are experiencing OP.

Wasn't in your shoes and it's difficult even expressing an opinion. For sure, it's a decision only you can make.
Are you consider terminating? Just wondering how old are you?
Things do change, but also for the better. The two of you will have the most amazing bond if you continue to work on it. And plans can be adjusted or postponed.
Thinking of you!

Dont give yo your house. It is way too soon for that.

what is he like as a father? The daily grind i mean, not the fun weekend stuff like an uncle.

Thank you. Not considering terminating, just really shocked and not ready to give up our relationship as it is. We’re just so happy right now. I’ll be 32 in September. I just need to grow up and get a grip I think.

I wouldn’t give it up per se, I would rent it out. The area he lives in is a lot nicer for us to raise a baby so I have to face the fact that I need to move, it’s just a lot of change to think about that I’m not really ready for. He’s a great dad. Has his son 4 days a week and does everything for him, the good and the bad! I know he’d be good to me and he’d always make sure I’m good, I’m just not ready for the dynamic to change. I just know so many couples who have grown a part because of having children and that is my biggest fear.

You might know lots of couples that have grown apart, but there are also couples who grow closer together and thrive!

My DH and I have gone from strength to strength, even our sex life got better (and it was good before!).

We prioritise our relationship very consciously.

We were very clear about how we wanted to parent before baby arrived and discussed a game plan at length for division of labour.

We also talked about how we were going to maintain intimacy even if we were too tired or busy for sex - didn't end up being a problem but just talking about it was good.

We decided that the one thing we were going to prioritise was having dinner together every night without the baby. A goal we have so far achieved!

Basically hash everything out beforehand! Of course things change and you figure things out as you go but it means the communication is set up from the get go.

Thank you ☺️ this is helpful and really good to know! I guess I’ve only ever really seen the negative side of it, my parents marriage included. He’s pretty on board with the idea so I guess we will see what happens! Thanks again ☺️