Miserable (trigger warning self pity)

[insoftplayrightnow]

I am truly fed up!

I am 9 weeks 4 days pregnant with my second. This is following a mmc earlier in the year. I am sick, exhausted, grumpy, constipated, headachy and have awful indigestion so can only eat certain foods.

I work 3 days a week, but cant see how I can work next week, which causes me stress. I am already so behind and had time off earlier in the year for mmc.

The house is a bombsite. I cant cook. I have so much life admin piling up.

I am lonely because I haven't told any of my friends, we told so many people last time and it just made it harder after the mmc. My best friend is having a truly horrendous time, 3x miscarriages back to back and been trying for 18months now, so I feel guilty being pregnant and know it will crush her finding out I am pregnant (alot of our 'group' are trying at the moment so it just a shit show for her)

My husband is being ok but we have a 27 month old, so he is doing most of the childcare, and unlike the first pregnancy doesn't have any time of resources to look after me... which I understand, and don't begrudge he is holding fort and working full time too... I just remember being more looked after first time round. Wow that looks awful written down!

I also have an ongoing issue with the mil, but I don't think mumsnet needs another mil drama.

This post is purely to get off my chest and have a moan. I expect trolls 😅

No trolls here, just a hug.

Didn't want to read and run.
I'm pregnant with my first and nievely thought pregnancy would be a breeze. It's difficult feeling rough and not being able to tell anyone.

Commiserations - being pregnant with a toddler is so different than your first. I’m currently 14wks and only just coming through feeling like total shit.
Selfishly all I want is to be able to focus on myself but I have a little person who wants to play 😫

No troll here, sending lots of love. I’m pregnant with my second and a 18m old at home and I feel like an absolute potato.

my husband has a very busy, stressful job that often involves working very late into the night but he has stopped and jumped in the post nursery > bedtime period when I need him too but equally our house is a bombsite too and we’ve been eating a lot of convenience food as I can’t stomach to cook.

it’s rough, but don’t feel alone - is there a friend you feel comfortable enough to share the news with that at least you can vent too? It’s really helped me. Equally don’t put pressure on yourself to have a tidy house, cook, or entertain. You are doing your best and that’s all you can do lovely.

Sympathies, it's shit.

Constructive comments:
Can you afford a cleaner?
Easy dinners like stuffed pasta, jacket potatoes to make life easier
You'll come through into second trimester soon - make plans of what you'll do when you feel better
Focus on the bits of work that actually matter, and what you can let slip without too many consequences
Ditto work out which life admin has consequences if neglected (not taxing car etc)

Second baby is a different kettle of fish, the actual baby part is probably going to be easier as you know how to look after a baby, much less of a learning curve. But you don't get a fuss. All those toys and gifts and flowers for first baby were actually about the transition into motherhood, not your specific baby - second time round you get a couple of cards and a teddy from the petrol station.

You need to accept it's shit for now and conserve your energy as best you can. It's not the worst thing to up nursery hours so you can rest.

Totally sympathise. I’m only in week 6 but I already feel dreadful. We have an 18 month old and I feel so guilty for being so distracted by how unwell I feel. I’m using all my energy to try and pull something out of the bag at work and it’s like there’s nothing left for him :(

Part of me wants to tell family so that I can ask for a bit of extra help to get through tri1, but I also know we are still in the risky bit and I honestly just don’t think I could face the excitement of telling them if it then doesn’t work out as we are hoping it will.

sending love. In the grand scheme of things this bit will seem short, that’s what I keep telling myself anyway 😅

I feel like I want to come over and give you a big hug. I'm sure alot of us here have felt this way at some point in pregnancy. In fact I got quite emotional reading your post. I don't have much advice but this too shall pass and I wish you all the best xx

Oh I feel you! I’m 9 weeks pregnant and so grateful to be pregnant after a loss but hating every second of it and feel like it’s not ok to say it! I’ve been off work since week 6 as am totally bedridden, constant nausea, extreme dizziness, severe exhaustion. It’s like having flu and a stomach bug and it’s really really lonely.

I can’t imagine how you’re coping with having a child as well, it sounds tough! It will pass xx

I just want to say thank you all, for your shared understanding and kind words. I was worried I would post and get ‘suck it up, you’re lucky’ type responses, so thank you for really hearing me 😊