I'm having an early miscarriage

[pinkelephant22]

I don't know what to do, this is my first miscarriage. Stupidly I'd concocted a names list and I feel really really stupid writing this post as I could only be 6 weeks and can barely see for crying.

I woke up this morning with cramping went for a wee and the toilet water was just red and the bleeding is very very heavy.

I had my booking appointment scheduled for the 8th august so I'm going to have to cancel that today.

I'm not really sure why this is happening I've been taking my pregnacare and I've stuck to the rules, but yesterday my car did stall so I'm thinking maybe it was that.

My main reason for posting was do you know what my next steps are.

Am I supposed to go anywhere? Do I contact the GP or are you supposed to just stay at home ? I don't even have any pads, why did I not think to have pads. I got excited and threw all my sanitary items away as well as all the food and drinks in the home that the NHS say are unsafe in pregnancy.

I've recently been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and then this has happened, so maybe that's what caused it.

I also went out with work friends on Friday 7th June and I probably went overboard not knowing I was pregnant so it may have also been that so I just feel really really really awful.

But I also read online your not supposed to take iron tablets when on your pregnacare but I asked the doctor and they said no carry on with your course of vitamin D and the iron they need to be completed. So that maybe didn't help.

My backs also been really hurting me so I did get in the bath last night and I've just read about getting baths but it wasn't a really hot one as it was warm out it was only because my back was hurting and I didn't want to take ibuprofen. Upon writing this all down perhaps I didn't follow the rules as closely as I thought I had.

My partners told me not to be upset and we will try again. It's not really the point. I've come into the bathroom and locked the door

None of this is your fault love. I'm really sorry you are going through it. Miscarriages are tough at any stage. They are usually due to chromosome probs. Im sure you'll have a healthier pregnancy next time.
The hospital may want to scan you to check at some stage. Take care of yourself x

Take a deep breath in ... and breathe out. Repeat.

Everything is going to be okay. Nothing you have done/haven't done has caused this to happen. Please believe me when I say, this isn't your fault.

Call your GP or better yet you can speak with the EPU. They may not see you yet if you're only 6 weeks but I would call for advice/support. I was seen at this stage, then again at 8 weeks to be sure of what was happening.

My friend heavily bled in early pregnancy and continued to have a baby 9 months later. I also bled in early pregnancy but unfortunately I had a miscarriage. The human body is unpredictable and miscarriage is really common - I really hope everything is okay.

It's crushing and painful and time will heal. You're in your right to be upset, take the time you need to pick yourself up, things will get better ❤️

Unfortunately miscarriages usually are to do with abnormalities, it is definitely not anything you have done. There isn’t anything you could have done differently to prevent it, unfortunately it really is just one of those things. I would call your midwife unit and just explain what has happened and they will tell you what happens next. Take it easy for a few days, take some deep breaths, cuddle up on the sofa and watch some movies. Allow yourself to grieve, just remember it is honestly not your fault.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Definitely call the midwife or early pregnancy unit. There's still a chance things could be ok but if you do miscarry, there's a specific miscarriage and pregnancy loss section on mumsnet that is very supportive and I found helpful when I went through it. Tommy's website is also very helpful.
This is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. Sending solidarity and hope.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you

you need to be kinder to yourself, this is not you’re fault. You’ve done nothing at all wrong. These things happen unfortunately and it’s hard.

speak with a midwife today, or give your gp a call. Take time and plenty of rest.

I'm so sorry. It wasn't the vitamins or the car stalling or anything you did. It happens in a certain percentage of pregnancies and that's sadly the way it is, because that particular egg or sperm weren't quite right. Of course you weren't stupid to make a name list. I hope you're OK xx

Im so sorry you are going through this. It’s nothing you’ve done. Trying to have a baby can just be damn hard for lots of people for no reason at all. We had a long battle with infertility then a miscarriage. I honestly just thought at that point life can suck, and that’s it. No rhyme or reason to it whatsoever. It can just suck. We did get pregnant again and now have our little bundle thankfully. It was just a long, hard journey to get there but once you are there the pain lessens. You’ll get through and life will get better. Do whatever you need to do right now to heal. If that’s going for a walk for hours, do it. Or if that’s leaning on your other half and crying together, do that. Let yourself feel what you feel, and don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t do this. The most likely cause at this early stage was a random chromosomal abnormality. Nothing you did or didn’t do would have made any difference.

I promise you that none of those things would have done it! If it was meant to be then you could have done all of that and more.

Thank you all. I'm home now,

I phoned the early pregnancy unit this morning and they booked me a scan at 2:25 today. They asked me to go to a and e first due to the amount of blood loss and the sanitary towels soaked per hour.

My BP was low this morning, I was v cold, and I stayed in until the scan. Blood loss subsided to a brown colour around 12pm.

They said that a positive test your HCG would be atleast 25 and my pregnancy stage would shoot you to over 2000. By the time I had my scan it was only 7.

She did the vaginal ultrasound and she diagnosed me with something else called adenomyosis I think it's called where all the layers grow into another. She said it's a cousin almost of PCOS that I've also been diagnosed with recently. She said that my pregnancy had passed and my lining was thin so the worst it over.

Not really the worst though. I've been referred onto somewhere else also but she said to give them a week at my GP practice and around 4 months until I try again as she doesn't want me to go through this again and I warrant further investigation and if they can help me she would rather i waited.

I still feel an awful loss. 24 hours ago I was so elated thinking of names and now I think I can never use those names as they've been tainted. I know everyone here and even the doctor said nothing I could've done could change the results but my head is just spinning. I do feel I could've been more careful in some respects. I knew the car was overdue the service and yet I drive it to the garage and it stalled. I should've waited for my partner. I had a banana yesterday and I did think twice about having it as it was more on the brown side than the yellow but still I ate it and I'm thinking maybe it had way too much sugar in it and if I come to think of it the bath was too hot because my back was sore. I was also stressed about work and had sent a vicious email in so it may have been karma in some respect....I was also meant to have my eyebrows micro bladed this week but cancelled as I was pregnant so I think because I told her I was pregnant before 12 weeks I jinxed it slightly. And I read online today about not using ibuprofen products when your pregnant and two nights ago my partner had a stiff neck and I rubbed deep heat into it and I read today that it can pass through into the womb. So I did say to her next time I'll be a bit more careful and this time I'll take the pregnacare before conceiving as I was only taking folic acid and they have a trying to conceive box so I'll start taking them for the next few months

Please don’t blame yourself. As others have said this is sadly very common, it’s a little talked about stat but 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. I promise you nothing you did will have caused this. Take care of yourself x

@pinkelephant22 I'm so sorry to read this thread. Please try to believe all the other ladies on here that nothing you have or haven't done has made this happen. I was told by the doctors that unless I was drinking fifty cups of coffee a day, raving and off my head on drugs, smoking lots etc there was nothing I could have done to avoid a miscarriage. Very very sadly, usually miscarriages are down to chromosomal abnormalities and absolutely not your fault xx

So sorry for you I had. 2 early miscarriages. One October and one this march I was to wait a few months before trying I didnt wait at all and got pregnant staight after the march misscarriage without a period im now 17 weeks you are most fertile after a loss. We had been trying for 2 and half years before the misscarriages. There is no Evidence that you should have to wait but you do whats best for you. I know its hard now and I totally feel for you. Your have your rainbow baby one day. 🌈😊