Pregnant previous SS involvement

[Geminiblue94]

Hi guys,
Recently found out I’m pregnant (unplanned) and have a 27 month old DD from a previous relationship. Sorry this might be a long one.

When DD was a few months old, I took her to A&E as she had a pinprick rash appear suddenly on her face and two red marks (around 1/4 cm) appeared on her lower arm. The pinprick rash was put down to viral petachie. They took a photo of the two marks on her arm which were extremely blurry and the lighting on the camera was bad. I had no clue what these photos were for and even the nurse commented how blurry the photos were but said they will do.
As these 2 marks were “medically unexplained” SS became involved. The marks never changed colour and one faded away completely in less than a day. The doctor could not be sure it wasn’t a rash or not so DD had to have a full skeletal survey and ct scan.

All results came back clear so case was closed and SS said they had no concerns. The same day I received a call off the social worker saying another doctor (who had never seen DD) had reviewed the photos which they had taken in A&E (the blurry ones) and believed the mark was a bruise. A section 47 was opened. A few days later, the social worker came over who said she had reviewed the photos with the head of paediatrics who had said these photos were far too blurry to say what the marks could be and that the hospital had not followed their safeguarding procedures (they should have taken proper photographs at the child protection medical). Because of this the case was closed and the social worker was very pleasant and apologetic. However, it didn’t get closed until months after because the hospital would not provide SS with the documentation needed.

I also had a brush with SS after splitting with my XH , the day after I left him he made malicious allegations up about me but thankfully SS saw straight through the lies. They visited once and that was it.

I’ve now started worrying about my midwife book in as I’m aware they will ask about any previous SS involvement. Will SS automatically get involved once I declare previous involvement? To add, the baby is not to my xH but a short term relationship which ended before I found out I was pregnant (was unplanned as was on the pill).

Despite the social workers always being pleasant, it was a horrendous experience to go through and would never want to go through it again.

Any advice appreciated :)

@Itsdecisiontimeisitnot when did I mention xH is still on the scene? He lives on the other side of the country and we are divorced. He sees DD during his contact time as per the child arrangement order.

@Itsdecisiontimeisitnot he sees his DD as he is legally fully entitled to. HV is fully aware of this and we only communicate regarding drop offs or DD.
Rightly so, I have no right to stop him seeing his DD and would be accused of parental alienation if I didn’t allow him to see her.

No, this person is in his child's life, which he is legally entitled to be, and the OP would be likely hauled into court by him if she breached the child arrangement order. And would be told by the court that she has to allow the contact. You clearly have no idea how hard it is to stop contact even in clear cases of domestic abuse.

@Itsdecisiontimeisitnot OP has asked whether social services are likely to get involved again because of a new pregnancy and based on what she has said I don't think they will. My sister definitely should have had social services involvement. OPs case sounds very different, an unexplained bruise that may not even have been a bruise and an ex making accusations which social services didn't believe. Both of these cases were closed, if social services where concerned they would still be involved. Unless you know something about OP that I don't it doesn't sound like social service involvement is likely.

“@TBOM exactly, as there is no safeguarding concerns (and no domestic violence involved in the marriage) there is no way I can (or would) stop him from seeing DD.

Hi, all. Thanks for your contributions here. OP has asked us to delete this thread - she's a new poster and wasn't aware that you can't usually delete threads so, as she's concerned that she's revealed too much personal information here, we're going to remove it for her in a moment. Thanks for understanding.

For past 4 years we have worked with social services, me and my partner have done multiple risk assessments, we were completely signed off no involvement whatsoever with social services, then my partner was recalled to jail for breaking his bail conditions, he didn't get charged with anything criminal but spent 18 months in jail waiting to go before parole board, he finally got and is in a bail hostel, there are absolutely no concerns by anybody involved like my sons life school, health workers, my partners probation officer has no concerns and neither does child protection police, but our old social has called a strategy meeting and now has 5 working days to investigate to see if we need to complete a 45 day risk assessment (which we have done a few times since our son was born in jan 2020) I don't see what else we can add to any assessments that we've not already added, my social worker saying its voluntary, but its not really because if I refuse the case could escalate to next stage, they want to make sure I can protect our son which I've proved in past hes our number one priority, my partner has no offences against children or myself, the only thing that's changed from our last assessment to now is my partner has done time in jail on recall, also he has until the 4th Feb before he has to leave bail hostel but if we have to do another assessment he wouldn't be able to come home until after the 45 working days which is middle of march so he'll be homeless as we're his only family any advice would be greatly appreciated

@Nikkibobbi get rid of your partner. Don't know what he's done but it's obviously bad enough that social services keep getting involved. He made a bad choice which meant he had to leave you and your child for 18 months.Yous are not his priority, he will continue to mess up and you will continue to pay for it. His homelessness is his problem not yours, let him deal with his own problems, you need to prioritise your child.

Thank for your reply, my partner actually didn't get charged with any crime, yes he has a criminal record but still didn't get any charges somebody had made an allegation against him which where found to be false and admitted by the person claiming them, so he never would of gone to jail for 18 months had this not happened, but I appreciate your comment and would actually normally agree with you, I need to know where I stand on doing or not doing another risk assessment as nothing can be added to all the previous ones thanks