I hope it’s okay to post here. AIBU board can be awful.
I’m 36 weeks now and getting anxious.
My partner promised to be around more towards the end as I’m needing a bit more emotional and physical support than ever.
He works 10 hour days so we usually only have the evenings together, he’s always tired and goes to bed by 9/10pm. We do spend the majority of weekends together and completed the nursery at the weekend just gone.
However I’m getting frustrated with his choice of priorities. At least twice a week after work he will have tea with his parents (separately as they’re divorced). He then comes home at 9 and goes to bed. This has been their routine for around a year now. He said it would cut down with the due date nearing (it hasn’t) and stop temporarily when the baby is newborn. He has now added alternative weekends to the rota of meals with them individually, except other relatives join. I’m never invited, not that I’d want to make a 90 minute round trip twice a week.
It feels like he’s being too relaxed when he should be supporting me, and his parents should also be aware that he’s needed at home more now. I could go into labour at any moment and may need inducing at 38 weeks. Yet his parents tell him he has to come and make an effort with them.
Don’t get me wrong he’s very excited about the baby and I know he’ll be fantastic, but I feel like a surrogate to him and not a partner he should be there for at a nerve wracking time.
I know it’s natural to want to spend time with your parents, but it feels like it’s bordering on selfish now. He knew I was unhappy today about another planned meal I didn’t know had been rearranged, he offered to cancel but I told him to go as I don’t want to be controlling or cause a rift with his parents. I hoped he’d cancel anyway but he went. They’ve gone to an expensive restaurant where I had a break down of their order sent to me alongside selfies. It feels insensitive to have done that knowing I’m home alone with beans on toast.
I want to explain to him that I need him here more and he can see his parents at more convenient times, but again it makes me sound very controlling and I don’t want to be that woman. He’s a good man and rarely sees friends so I know it could be worse but It would be nice if he spent that amount of time with me occasionally, especially as I have no family and have spent my maternity leave with no adults to speak to.
Can anyone share their thoughts please?