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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Feels like midwife is indifferent and in a hurry

5 replies

Roundandnettledr · 30/06/2023 22:35

Not sure if I’m BU but I feel like my community midwife is just totally disinterested and can’t wait for appointment to finish.

This is my second pregnancy, the first was in lockdown, and the midwives I saw then were very reassuring, explained things through well and seemed kind and interested.

this midwife hasn’t not done anything she should have afaik - but it feels like she just wants to get things done, and I’m not sure if it’s fair to feel miffed about it. she is older and has gone down to 2 days a week. For example I often have her last appointment of the day at lunch time and whenever I ask how she is she says ‘good I can go home after this’ I always feel like I’m annoying her by asking questions if I have any

I ended up going into the maternity unit yesterday as I went blind temporarily and happened to run into her there in the waiting room. She asked if I was ok, and then told me she was drowning in paperwork. After being triaged the midwife at the unit found I have a very low iron count and said I should have an injection as tablets weren’t cutting it. She said I could either wait there for at least 4/5 hours for a doctor to do it there, but advised I go home and call the community midwives as they can do it much quicker and I won’t have to wait for a doctor to be free and can go home and sleep.

i left a message for her and when she rang me back hours later she was in a huff when I said that triage recommended I have an injection and contact her to get it sorted. She got cross and said ‘don’t they think I’ve got enough to do?! Bloody hell!’ I apologised and she said she would ring back when sorted. She called back and said you need to come into hospital at the weekend and they will ring you with a time, rather than what I thought would happen which was I would go to her to get it done.

anyway maybe I’m being unreasonable but I just feel like a chore to her but not sure if I’m right to feel miffed - she seems fine and doing all the relevant tests etc so maybe it’s unreasonable to expect a friendly manner

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bunny2023 · 30/06/2023 22:56

Your midwife dosent seem like she enjoys her job or is just overwhelmed?

It is not very professional of her to say "dont they think I've got enough to do, bloody hell"!

I dont think your being unreasonable to expect a friendly manner, midwives play an important part during a woman's pregnancy and I think it is important that you feel as if you can ask your midwife questions without feeling as if you are annoying her.

I have a fantastic midwife, she is really welcoming and always asks me " do you have any questions"? and makes me feel really comfortable.

I hope it all works out for you, all the best xxx

Littlelighthouse · 30/06/2023 23:47

I don't think you're being unreasonable. We have no choice but to put a lot of trust into professionals when we're pregnant. My concern in your shoes would be that something could be missed by her due to her seemingly 'don't bother me' attitude. It's dangerous, really. Your care is in her hands, and if you don't feel she is giving you what you need I would consider asking for another midwife.
You don't want to be worrying about bothering her because there could be a time you do need to 'bother' her, but her attitude could lead to you feeling anxious to do so, which isn't something you want to feel when she's supposed to be caring for you and your baby.
Good luck OP x

Roundandnettledr · 01/07/2023 19:29

Thanks both x

OP posts:
JoyApple · 02/07/2023 00:00

I'm so sorry to hear this. I have a midwife who seems in a rush and is keen to direct me to others but I'm under consultant care too so I feel much more reassured. What she said to you was very much out of line. In your situation, I would ring the midwife main number and ask to be moved to another midwife.

pregnancyrollercoaster · 02/07/2023 01:13

I'm consultant led and as soon as my clinic appts kicked in my community MW wasn't interested at all in supporting me which left a very negative feeling with me with a resulting consequence of I don't feel I can speak to them anymore. I felt like it was a cause of 'phew that's one off our list for now' attitude. Struggling massively with my mental health during pregnancy and sometimes my concern isn't high enough 'threshold' for day care or triage. I feel like I've slipped through a support net without being able to speak with the community MW team. Disappointing really 😞

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