Should I tell people?

[Hopefulmummy7336]

I'm 13 weeks pregnant, just had my dating scan which went well and wanting to tell parents, but... I have a chromosomal abnormality that means there is a high chance we would have to TFMR. A failed CVS means having to wait another 5 weeks before we can get amnio done and results back and know what we are doing with this pregnancy.
I really want to tell my family but wouldn't want to tell them if we had to terminate as ashamed of that decision. Not sure what I'm asking, apart from maybe what would you do?
Thanks for reading.

It is such a personal decision and in a difficult situation. I think it depends if you would like their support if you do need to TFMR.

It's completely your choice. There is no right or wrong. You must try your hardest not to feel guilty or ashamed if you choose to terminate the pregnancy. You could still tell people what is happening without revealing the fact you might terminate the pregnancy if that would help you. It's completely up to you to keep it secret if you wish. You can just tell people you had a miscarriage if you wish.

I had a miscarriage at three months (very different situation to you) and I hadn't told people I was pregnant but did tell people I'd miscarried. I wanted a little support and pep friends, family and colleagues were all amazing. It made me feel loved and supported. I KNOW it's going to be different for you but it's something to consider.

Keeping it all completely private is also a perfectly ok thing to do.

You don't have to decide anything just yet.

I really hope everything goes ok.

Thanks for the advice @HotWithNoRain and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think that's what I'm struggling with @VeeAye , I don't think I would necessarily need their support, but the waiting is taking away from any excitement with this pregnancy. Perhaps I just want a bit of joy!

Totally understandable that you would want some joy. Do you have friends whose support you would want that you could tell and be excited with?

As PP said, you could tell people without announcing the risks at the moment?

I wish you the best with your decision and pregnancy!