Telling people

[Khanga27]

Hi there

I'm currently 4 weeks pregnant (taking a 4th test tomorrow to definitely be sure but the lines on the first 3 were very much there).

This is my first pregnancy. My husband and I have been debating when to tell people. In agreement not to tell friends until after the first NHS scan, but it's more when do people typically tell close family (parents, siblings)?

I am conscious that now would be far too early, though some symptoms have started already like aches and nausea. We have decided on a private scan in a few weeks time so considered after then perhaps we could tell just parents.

Thanks

Sorry I didn't make clear in my first post - I'm not necessarily asking for advice when to tell people as I know it's very much personal choice and feeling. It was more if people were willing to share their experience of what they found helpful for themselves if that makes sense.

I would suggest only telling people who you would also be comfortable with them knowing if anything bad were to happen. Obviously fingers crossed you wouldn't need that. We miscarried in November 2022 and nobody only my husband and I knew, I found this easier. We miscarried again in April and I had told my mother and I found it really difficult her knowing and worrying etc.

A close family member of mine had a private scan at 6 weeks and told everyone.

It really depends on what you are comfortable with.

I read a post on here when I was about 4-5 weeks along and she said she had a miscarriage in her last pregnancy and didn't tell anyone. But this time they've told everyone they are close to because it hurt more to tell people they were pregnant but now they're not if that makes sense?

It's 100% up to you who you tell. We told parents and siblings, work and one close friend. That's it!

From your message it sounds like this is good news for you, so huge congratulations!!

I know there is lots of superstition over when to announce your news. However, I once read a message on here that said you should tell the people now who you would want to support you, should the pregnancy not go to plan. For me that meant I told my mum and my sister almost as soon as we found out, because should (heavens forbid) anything go wrong I would have wanted to tell them and have them with me.

We then told the rest of the family after 12 weeks. After that we didn’t really announce to ‘the world’ it just came up when friends realised I wasn’t drinking/ I started to properly show etc

Congrats again!

I told my mum early on because I felt very sick and wanted to moan about it.

I’m 10 weeks now with my second pregnancy (I have a toddler). I don’t feel much “excitement” in the early stages, probably to protect myself from disappointment. So I don’t want to tell many people about it because they will be excited and expect me to be excited, and that’s just not how I feel yet.

I felt a huge rush of relief after my 12 week scan last time and it felt much more real. I think it is a good milestone for that reason.

I told my parents and sister at 6 weeks. It was great to have their support during the 1st trimester and I felt so much better that they knew. Told family/close friends at 12 weeks and then waited for 'public' knowledge at 16 weeks. I dont agree with 'dont tell anyone until 12 weeks' as a rule. The first trimester is tough do whatever you are wanting to do / most comfortable with!!

I told DP and one close friend the day I peed on a stick.

Told my family around 10/11 weeks because we were due to visit them and we'd usually enjoy a drink together.

Told DPs family after 12 weeks scan.

It really depends on you and your relationships. I don't have the type of parents I could lean on if anything went wrong, but I knew I could with my friend and DP

First pregnancy I didn't tell anyone except my in laws (because my then husband wanted to tell them). I had an MMC at 10+4 and had to tell my siblings that I was going for a surgery and wouldn't be able to help with my mum for a while. It hurt more to tell them about the loss than I think it would if they'd have known about the pregnancy earlier. This time (second pregnancy) I've told a handful of close friends as I need to have a support network around me, I'm really struggling with the mental side of things. I'd say the advice about "tell people you'd be ok telling you lost the baby" is good advice. A support network is so important, even if the pregnancy all goes smoothly you might have rough days emotionally or physically, and it really helps to have people to lean on.

As a side note - I won't be doing an announcement on social media or anything. I don't take a heap of photos of me anyway (so it's unlikely anyone will see pics of me pregnant) and I'll tell those I care about 1-2-1 as and when after 12 weeks.

I told my husband 2 days after I found out and my mum (who will have told my dad) a few days after that, all before 5 weeks.

I told one of my best friends on Tuesday when I was 8 weeks.

Those are the only people that know for now.

We'll be telling his parents/family when we see them in August by which I'll be 14 weeks and then I plan to go public shortly after that.

All being well 🙏

Only telling strangers until after the scan! I think that makes it easier at gets out the urge to share the news but you are unlikely to see those people again!

Second this!

I have a Whatsapp group I created with a few girls who were meant to get married in the same month as me but had to postpone due to Covid. We've all kept in touch even though none of us have ever met and as most of them are now Mums its come in really handy!

How much cristallised ginger is safe? I had abiud 50grams of cristallised ginger this morning, after reading a study that ginger is generally safe , then found loads of posts of how you should only have 1g a day but these are referencing fresh or pill ginger. Does any-one know the safe amount of cristallised ginger?

Meant to start new thread, not post here!

I'm 18 weeks now. It's hard. Work had to know early because I was so ill and needed risk assessments done.

One side of family were going through a very hard time. Recent deaths and another close relative dying in palliative care when I was 6 weeks. Other side also had some family losses but not as close as the other. Some would say something to look forward to, we were more of the idea that we didn't want to tell them something, they get excited, then it be another loss if something went wrong.

In the end we had funerals on sequential weeks (one each side) so we had a private scan at around 10 weeks a few days before the first funeral and told close family that day when scan showed all ok. Meant it was far enough before the funerals to be ok, but late enough the odds were better.

Now I have a bump so most people I see know but theres still quite a few friends etc we won't tell until after 20 week scan.

I told my sister at 6 weeks as I ended up going away with her and had so many food aversions it was so obvious and parents around 8 weeks and friends and other family at 12 weeks. I very sadly had to have a TFMR at 25 weeks as our little girl was very very poorly, which we found out at the 20 week scan. I am very glad I had told people as I had an amazing support network. Going forward we've been told we will have an early anatomy scan at 15 weeks but even after my experience I think I will still tell people (maybe not quite so many as before!) at 12 weeks x

@Blueskiesforecast thats definitely where Mumsnet comes in! 😂

Told my parents at about 4+4, as I'd want their support if god forbid something went wrong.
I've told two managers at work at 6 weeks and I've had bad morning sickness and needed time off and things rearranged. Not telling anyone else until after the scan although I know some people suspect because of the sickness.

When we first fell pregnant we told everyone. Unfortunately MC early.

Then we luckily fell pregnant again next month. We told our parents around 7 weeks just before our early heartbeat scan and then told immediate family and close friends.

With our second (im 34+3) we did the same. Told immediate family right away. Then had the heartbeat scan just 3 days before Christmas and told our closest friends.

X

We're telling our parents next week as we're seeing them in person (we don't live nearby so won't see them in person for a while after), I'll be 7 weeks. Will then tell my in laws as well. I'm going to a festival when I'm about 9 weeks so wil probably tell the friends I'm going with. I know I'd want to talk to friends and family, in a situation where something went wrong.

Currently going through a really tough time in my early pregnancy (likely to end in miscarriage but having to wait for a follow up scan) - and god am I glad I've got a support network of the people I've told to help me x

Thanks all for the perspectives, it's been really helpful.
We have our first midwife appointment when i will be 7 weeks, and we have booked a private scan for 8 weeks 2 days (just as I am a bag of nerves). All being well the plan is to tell parents on both sides then (and MAYBE siblings - we aren't quite in agreement about this).
I feel like I've had quite a lot of symptoms really early so if they start looking more obvious then my mum will likely end up guessing before I tell her I think...

I'm currently 14 weeks and really suffered through the first trimester so told my mum (and therefore dad and PIL) at around 6 weeks just so I had someone to tell me the sickness and tiredness was normal. I then started telling my friends from around 9 weeks. Mostly as I had two camping festivals with them and it was obvious from what I was eating and not drinking. I'm so glad I did as it meant they understood. All wider family for today after the scan and I'm so happy I told people earlier than I "should have"