How can I support my partner when I'm a nervous wreck?

[xkarma]

Hey,

My partner is currently 37 weeks pregnant and is doing an amazing job and I couldn't be more proud of her.

I suffer from very bad anxiety and ptsd. I've been a nervous wreck this whole pregnancy, constantly searching things on Google, asking her questions about symptoms etc.

It's really not fair on her, I feel like my constant worry wears of on her.

I do currently take SSRI meds and have done so for a long time now but with a week to go (she's getting induced due to various health reasons) I'm at the point where I can't eat, sleep or function and constantly feeling sick. I just want our baby here safe.

I'm trying my best to keep it together in front of her, helping out with the nursery setup etc but emotionally I feel like a detriment..

How can I support her?
She understands my worries and always reassures me about movements and that. She's the one supporting me and it shouldn't be that way.

Does anyone have any advice for my own mental health/worries too?

Thank you

Firstly, I think it’s really great that you’re trying to proactively be more prepared to support her in the coming weeks/months.

childbirth is hard, and I know that I really did need that support from my partner around the time of our sons birth.

my advice would be:

1. really try and trust that if she is feeling something out of the ordinary then she will know and she will act. We know our bodies so well by this point in pregnancy. If anxiety is a big part of your life then you’ll likely still feel anxious, it’s unavoidable. But do try and show that you trust her instincts by not being too overbearing when it comes to symptom chat. TRUST ME, she will be feeling every little thing at this point and wondering if it’s labour.
2. Focus your energy on researching your role as a birth partner. Your partner will potentially be faced with a bunch of choices; what painkillers is she happy to have, what are her ‘must haves’ if she goes to c-section, what if she’s under anaesthetic for the birth etc. Make sure you understand her needs in each of these scenarios and be ready to be her voice and her advocate if she needs you.
3. if you haven’t already, think about planning the routine for leaving the house. If you’re an over thinker then you’ll likely be brilliant at the logistics of this.

best of luck with the next few weeks :)

Its normal to feel anxious about a pregnancy and you sound very caring which is great, but you need to tone it down a little, you don't need to ask her about movements trust me your partner will be feeling it all and if she was at all concerned that they have reduced she will tell you/contact the midwife. She will be giving birth soon and will need to you to be there for her, giving birth especially for the first time (if this is your first) is scary, it's really hard work and she will need you to hold it together and be her support. Have yous tried hypnobirthing? There's plenty of YouTube videos on this and it may help you both. It sounds like your maybe spending too much time focusing on the pregnancy, do you have any hobbies something to take your mind off things? Good luck to yous both x

Thank you @glasspaw for your reply. I really like the idea of focusing the energy I spend Googling and worrying on more productive and supportive measures like my responsability as a birthing partner.