AIBU? - Family do 2 Weeks before Due Date.

[Rldowning]

Hi all.

So, my husbands family have this big family event happening 2 weeks before my due date, it's been planned forever, I've just gotten pregnant with poor timing. Anyway, I am concerned about going, this is my first pregnancy and the family event is about an hour and a quarter drive away from my home and the hospital I plan on giving birth in. I'm basically worried that I might go into labour early!

There is another hospital a bit closer, but not really one I'm overly keen on, also, everyone at this party will be drinking, so I will have to rely on an ambulance and their response time.

I know if I don't go my husband won't go and be very upset about it. Am I worrying over nothing and odds are I'll be fine, or am I better off staying at home that close to my due date?

I know if I don't go my husband won't go and be very upset about it.

Tell your husband that you will go if you feel like it on the day, and if he will agree to stay sober. Or he can go without you, or he can stay home with you. He has hit the point in his life where it's not just about him any more and his days of being very upset about it need to be over.

I would wait to decide until a couple of days before. It would be on the basis that husband wouldnt drink so he could drive if anything kicked off. I would take my hospital bags and maternity notes with me so we could go straight to the hospital if needed.

It always annoys me in movies when there’s a big dramatic gush of waters and then everyone panics and rushes to the hospital. It’s really not usually like that.

You’re more likely to go overdue, and average labour time for a first time mum is 12-19 hours so you’ll have plenty of time in the chance you did go into labour. You would only call an ambulance in extreme circumstances, such as you have reached the pushing stage.

petalsandstars · Today 09:55
Easy - go but DH doesn’t drink so you can leave if needed. Have your hospital bag in the car etc”

This (if you’re feeling physically up to it, obviously)

If it makes you feel better OP, I actually live an hour away (more during high traffic times) from my nearest hospital and I never even thought to be concerned about that during either my pregnancies! It's the norm round here.

I wouldn't worry. Your husband can stay sober so he can drive you if needed. First labours are normally long and late!

I wouldn't worry about this. I drove myself an hour away at 40 weeks with my second baby (first child in tow) and then drove myself back home after feeling some twinges... (turned out to be a very long latent phase of labour). It's highly unlikely that anything will happen quickly enough to be an issue, if it happens at all. I'd definitely suggest that DH doesn't drink, though, so that you don't have to drive yourself (just in case)!

I'd argue that you can't (and shouldn't!) stress yourself putting your life 'on hold' just in case. You'll probably slow down production of oxytocin etc that way!

Just put your hospital bag and notes in the car, I gave birth in a hospital an hour from my house!

An hour and a quarter is absolutely fine. As long as you're feeling up to it (most women are but it's hard to predict especially this far out), then you'll be fine. At that stage though you're hitting the point where your husband needs to lay off the drink until after you've delivered so that he can drive you whenever you do go into labour.

Odds are that once you're at that stage, if you're healthy you'll realise it's not a big deal at all.

My first was early BUT I was in labour for 4 days so you've probably got time!

If my husband did drink he would weigh up the risks and probably miss some booze for that night! Is that not something he's willing to do?

Also I honestly don't think you'll have anything to worry about. There's a high chance you'll know earlier on in that day if you're going into labour, it would be a huge coincidence if you went into that labour that day, plus early stages of labour are usually slow so you'll get back in plenty of time.
If anything a day out distracted, keeping active may get things going and it's a nice chance to see all the family before little one arrives

With my first my waters broke at 37 weeks 5 days, but it took 3 days before baby was actually born. Also most first babies are late x

An hour and a quarter is fine, my first labour took days after the first signs.

Just go but get your DH not to drink.

I'm at the ease in which you think your dh would go and get drunk, and you get an ambulance.

Ambulances are not for this purpose and he should make sure he is sober so he can take you, and be sober for the birth.

Ambulances are not publicly funded taxis that enable your family to avoid the hassle of one night of sobriety.

A ridiculous plan B- I would be having stern words with DH about staying sober and learning to put others ahead of his drinking.

If he's not willing to do that when you're about to give birth then you have bigger problems.

If you want to go,

DH does not drink and is fit to drive and support you. I'd expect this from 38 weeks off anyway

My hospital was 50 minutes+ drive in a cab away.

You're unlikely to go into labour but it's always a possibility. I'd be more worried about being shattered and uncomfortable and having to sit on sensible chairs rather than sprawled on the sofa with your feet raised and tiny feet digging into you from the inside. Late pregnancy can be very uncomfortable at times.

The distance would bother me. The drinking would.

Being your first it probably won’t be that quick when you do go into labour as you don’t go to the hospital until you’re at a certain stage you labour at home for awhile first. If it was your second or more it could be different. You should have plenty of time to get to your hospital and likely even need to go home first. Some people live that far away from their hospital.

Your husband shouldn’t drink though in my opinion 1) in case he does need to drive you and 2) to have his wits about him to fully engage and be there for you during labour.

You do realise that we’re talking about a man here?
😉😁😁😁

I think it might be an idea to plan to go (and DH not drink) but obviously with the caveat that if you feel unwell/not up to it, you may have to miss it.

I went to my PIL golden wedding party a few weeks before DC2 was born. They are a similar distance away. The most annoying thing was everyone telling me what sex they thought the baby "ought" to be!!🤣 (but I felt fine)

Just to say that my first was born at 38 weeks - it was a gush of waters breaking like on tv, and she was born 6 hours later, I had no twinges beforehand or any indication labour was going to kick off that day! Might be unusual but first babies aren't always overdue and long labours (took me by surprise as that's what everyone told me too!)

Anyway I think if I was feeling up to it I would go but have everything with me in case we needed to make a quick dash to the hospital. My DH didn't drink from around 35 weeks just in case baby made an early appearance so he would be able to drive me to the hospital. Seems fair enough when we've managed a whole 9 months without a drink!