Feeling a bit unprepared

[Al991]

Baby is due at the end of August and suddenly feeling very insecure about it!

I feel like my house is not remotely ready. I think now I’ve bought the stuff I need I realise there is nowhere to store it! I envision other parents with tidy homes that are easy to move around in and I feel like I’m already a bad mum. It all just seems like chaos.

I love and want this baby more than anything but I’m worried about failing her, feel like I’ve not got ‘life’ sorted yet. She will be so loved but is that enough?

Is this normal at this stage?

😂 there is no such thing as a tidy home when you have such small children. Don't sweat it.

The best thing about a newborn baby is that you've already got everything in the world she could possibly want - love, warmth, food, cuddles, comfort.
She's got no idea what stuff is, or what people expect to be in place for her, because her focus is 100% on you.
Don't sweat it - and practically speaking, she'll be in your room for the first six months anyway which will give you time to chip away at whatever might need doing!!

It sounds like you are already more prepared than you think you are (much more than I was!!!) And there is really nothing that you need before baby is born apart from a crib that you can't pop out and get. Our house was and is always chaos 100% of the time. It was a tiny 1 bed house, and when DC1 was 5 months old , we self-built a tiny box room onto the back of the house, DC2 now in there too! It's a squish but its cosy and warm. Just know that every mum feels like the next mum has it so much more together. It's universal. The sooner you can shake off the idea that being tidy and sorted and having all the right snacks in the well-organised nappy bag equates to being a better mother, the sooner you can enjoy being the mum that you are.

I totally get the easy to move around the house thing. Of course it's a hassle for you if the house is cluttered. Mine is tiny and I've become ruthless about decluttering to maximise space for my own sanity. But it's doesn't mean you're a better mother for having a lovely space to float around while in that beautiful newborn haze! (Which isn't really a thing btw).

Do yu have a large wardrobe or maybe an attic where you can throw everything til you really need it?

Your nesting. It’s literally how you are supposed to feel when a baby is coming. Lean into it. Tidy and clean and nest away. You’re just how you are supposed to be.

Well I must be terrible too, I'm due in July and her stuff is everywhere, half of it is still in the bags I brought them home in 😂 just make sure you have the hospital bag sorted that's the only thing that really matters

Oh that's just nesting op. Normal feelings! Don't worry 😘 you'll be great

We had NOTHING until I was about 36 weeks and then did a trip to John Lewis 🤣 Just buy and tidy as you go along is my advice. We bought a pram and car seat, and a cot and some sleepsuits (from memory we had 3) and then ordered some stuff when we got home from hospital. Our house was a building site when our eldest was born. It was fun! We just made sure the room we slept in wasn't dusty.

Welcome to mother guilt - it starts before they're even born! 😄

I think you'd find that most houses with a baby are somewhat chaotic. It is hard to keep everything in order when little ones are unpredictable and you aren't getting much sleep. The baby definitely doesn't care!! They just want you.

Think I feel even more guilty because between work and horrendous back pain I’ve not even been able to do the cleaning/tidying bit 😬

But you don’t need to feel guilty at all. You don’t feel guilty for not having something to eat when you are hungry, you just want food even more. Truthfully babies need very little. You are going to want everything tidy and the feeling will grow as the baby gets nearer. Tidy one drawer, or make a list. It will soothe you.

I'm due not long after you and people keep asking me if I'm "all sorted" (which I think is well meaning small talk but adds a subconscious pressure), it's my first baby so I've no idea what I need fully, but the supermarkets or even Amazon are only a couple of clicks away in case of forgetting anything essential, that's the advice I have been given.
I also keep speaking to mums to be who are spending so much time on the nursery but they don't go in them for months so I am not stressing about getting it all organised just yet.
...and whatever you do, don't view instagram pics as what "real life" is like all the time for people. I spend hours cleaning and tidying when I am expecting visitors and always think to myself "why am I pretending I live like this?!" 😂 and this is before baby comes so christ knows what the house will be like after.

Hope you're feeling ok as you go through the final few weeks. Exciting times.

I think you're more ready than you give yourself credit for. As others have said you don't actually need much - place to sleep, sleep suits, feeding stuff, nappies, muslins, etc. The rest is unnecessary clutter imo.

When baby is here you will have almost zero time to tidy or clean - I think good preparation is to get ready for the feelings of guilt and to practice letting those feelings go. It's hard if you're used to or like a tidy home, but you can deal with it in 15 years 😆 (joking - I have found that I can do a 10 min buzz around picking up the worst of it when baby naps or is in their basket). Accept all the help offered and if people ask if they can help ask them to do the washing up or fold the laundry.

I agree with previous poster - Instagram is complete lies and marketing, don't buy anything anyone on their recommends it's almost certainly a waste of money!

Don’t feel guilty. Baby only wants to be fed, clean and warm. Don’t fall into all the instagram hype with Celebs with fancy nurseries and excess stuff. It doesn’t matter!

Thank you for all of your reassurance! Just to be clear, I said I HAVE got all the baby stuff I need purchase wise (I agree they don’t need much) but just wish house was in better order. Baby definitely won’t have a nursery for many many months as we are just not there yet. I’m so exhausted trying to get all the clearing out done is feeling impossible.