Hi all,
Has anyone realised they have autism/adhd/ocd etc once they became a parent?
Little background. I am 33, have a 14 month old dd and I am 5 weeks pregnant.
Since my teens/early 20’s I had been in and out of docs apts with anxiety and depression. About 9 years ago I was referred to a mental nurse practitioner with possible BPD. I wasn’t diagnosed in the end. I was on anti depressants my whole 20’s where I think may have helped mask/‘lessen’ neurodivergent traits etc but came off them when I got married 3 years ago.
Since having DD last year, I had been to docs about pnd (told me I didn’t have it), anxiety (this is something I definitely suffer with), cyclothymia, PMDD, binge eating disorder and was referred to a self harm counselling because of skin picking (I don’t pick my skin necessarily but when I get a scab I pick and pick to it gets infected and scars - I didn’t now that this can be called a stim). Basically I feel like I have been searching for ‘what’s wrong with me?’ because I have always felt my brain isn’t that of a neurotypical (only recently learnt this term). Any of the possible diagnosis never stuck as I didn’t fit the criteria.
Since reading about adhd and autism, it’s like something has clicked. I feel it definitely fits. Since having dd, I am not able to sit for hours being on my own, reading books, singing etc (self regulating) and some sensory issues have become more apparent - eg i hate eggs - touching them makes me almost angry so before dd i avoided them. I am wanting her to have a round balanced diet so regularly lifting them off the floor, washing them off this dishes and it makes me shiver and almost want to cry. Too much noise has been a thing I’ve noticed too - tv on, her crying etc makes me feel i am going to explode etc.
Well tonight, dd threw her dinner on the floor and dh reacted quite amused, then just got up and cleaned it, no big deal. I cried. It frustrates me so much. She’s practically a baby, she’s not doing it to annoy me but I get ridiculously frustrated that I need to be alone for a while.
Has anyone discovered they are neurodivergent after becoming a parent? How do you cope? I am afraid it’s going to get worse once I have 2 littles depending on me! That, mixed with the pregnancy hormones on top is making me get frustrated most days.
I mentioned it to my doc a few months ago and was told I could be waiting 5 years for an assessment! Anyways, rambling on here… the bottom line is, can it be possible to be a 33 year old woman who slipped through the net?