Unplanned early pregnancy - HELP

[BLUEBELLO]

Im in my 30's and I've recently found out im unexpectedly, very early pregnant (5wks). My relationship is also in its early days and let's just say the news hasn't gone down so well with the other half who is already a father to one. I'm growing ever more concerned that I may be going on with this baby alone but I really don't think I could have an abortion.

Aside from the million others worries I have, I want to know if anyone has any ideas of how I deal with this and work. I am currently off sick, I originally thought for another reason but its turned out pregnancy is the culprit. I really don't want work to know as I am worried it could jeopardise me getting full term contract in the near future (regardless of discrimation laws, I've seen it happen).

I feel like a female in crisis mode and not fit to be in work with everything thats going on. I was significantly stressed before this happened due to commitments so I'm incredibly shocked I've actually ended up In this situation but my stress levels are now through the roof. It's feels wrong to be dishonest about why I am off now I know its pregnancy ... but I feel it is well within reason and understandable for me not to tell them why this early on.

Is there any such thing as compassionate leave in this situation if I was to disclose my unplanned pregnancy? I'm also holding back telling my loved ones because I am not entirely sure yet of his decision and I want to know whether I'm doing this alone or not before I open that box. I have no doubt my family will be supportive of me no matter what, but they'll be extremely worried about me to know I'm not supported right now and they live too far away to do anything about it. But it's hard to not reach out, I feel like I need them and I feel guilty that they don't know.

Any help and advise? Please help

Tell your family, you’re having this baby whether he’s on board or not.
and please give baby your surname.
congratulations 💐

Just look after yourself all will settle down, have you made a doctor appointment yet, booked in as pregnant I mean ?

Hey OP, I’m in a similar situation and also at week 5. I actually told the dad yesterday and he begged me not to have the baby - he’s not ready and it will ruin his life at the moment. I’ve had a long drive home and had chance to think and I’m going to do this. Lots of emotions behind it. Im thinking of possibly telling my manger in work but holding back as they’ve only just come back after being off with stress. I do think it would help though.

please tell loved ones, it’s hard I know and I’m still working up the courage to tell mum but my friend has been supportive and it has made things easier.

For me I’ve found that looking after myself, eating right , walks and a little pamper has helped. Just little things.

look after yourself and do things in your own time 💐

If you are on medical leave, being out due to pregnancy illness is still medical leave. Do not feel bad about this. It is my understanding that compassionate leave is not statutory but at the company's discretion. You should be able to find this in your employee handbook.or leave policy. However, I would not seek it out, just roll with medical leave until you've got your legs back under you. Also, don't feel pressured to tell your employer about the pregnancy, particularly if it could jeopardize a future contract. If you end up on mat leave, they will have more than enough notice. I say this as someone who runs a small business, employing people. It is ok to be out sick.

You've got a lot of really hard things on your plate and are bound to find it stressful. I wish you the best on this, it sounds really hard. I hope you can get support from your family and friends.

Just thought I'd provide an update...

But firstly, thanks for all your responses and support. I have since taken the time to go visit family and told the news. The sence of relief and reassurance with their support with however I want to over forward has made all the difference so I can at least breathe for now.

I've managed to speak to HR re:work and turns out I'm alot more secure in my position then I thought I would be and I would still be entitled to MAT pay even in a non-permanent post. With regards to disclosing my pregnanacy in still undecided whether to do this just yet. Would be good to know if many disclose in the early stages (before end of 1st trimester) and if that's benefited them at all or lead to problems?

Thanks everyone again!

Hi blue I was in your situation 17 years ago 😁

It's worth telling work as they have to do risk assessments and allow time off for appointments.

If the father isn't supportive and doesn't want to be involved keep him off the birth certificate, if he's on the birth certificate he'll have parental rights.

Check what benefits you may be eligible for if you do go it alone.

Good luck and congratulations!