Baby Gift List - Conflicted!

[VirgoPeanutPending]

With our due date approaching, we are getting questions from lovely friends, family and work colleagues as to what they can buy for baby. We are first time parents so apart from the big ticket items, which we are slowly sorting ourselves or have kindly had donated, we are a bit clueless.

I've looked at various "must have" lists online but when I've spoken to friends about some of the items, they've said they got a lot of the things but didn't bother using them, so for most things I am going to have on standby to order if I find we need them (e.g. just get a changing mat, rather than a full baby changing table, etc).

We are starting an antenatal course soon, so I am hoping that will give a bit more insight as to what little bits and bobs to get. However...

A lady from work had an Amazon baby gift list which I thought was good so we could buy things she would actually use. Both myself and DH feel conflicted about setting up a "registry" - on one hand we understand people want to buy things for the baby and want those things to be of use but on the other feel a bit uncomfortable as it seems as bit presumptuous for some reason - maybe overthinking it? As a compromise I'm thinking we could set one up somehow with a list of things that we can share with people who specifically ask, and they can tick off and either get the one on the list or a similar item of their own choosing. I would only include small items on there, nothing expensive -- a friend of a friend sent out a registry ahead of a baby shower and it had some very big ticket items on and did not go down well with a lot of people.

I just know if we say not to get anything, to just come and visit us is enough, people will still buy but we may not get use of the gift and I really don't like wasted items or the thought of people wasting their money.

What are thoughts on having a list and has anyone used the Amazon one? Do the items get delivered to the person buying them so they can deliver themselves as a gift, or straight to you?

If people have asked then absolutely set up a list of items maybe up to £50? But include lots of items around the £10-£20 region.

I wouldn’t use Amazon myself, they treat workers so badly and avoid tax. I do think a list is a good idea, just make sure you include items that are very small/cheap as well.

I've set up an amazon baby wish list, right now more so I can keep track of things I'm thinking of getting rather than for others to get from. I also probably won't buy them all (or maybe not anything from amazon) as I'd prefer to support other places but the list and looking at options is useful.

My plan was to refine it closer to my due date (early Nov) and the share if people ask. Like a previous poster I'll add a lot of lower priced items and make it clear it doesn't need to be that one, can be similar or from elsewhere.

Things can be sent direct to you from amazon if you agree to your address being shared with the buyer.

Best thing we got was Boots vouchers, could use them for formula, nappies, baby clothes, a thermometer got loads of stuff as and when we needed it.

To add, one of the benefits of Boots is that you get advantage points and if they still do the baby club any baby stuff gets you more advantage points so the vouchers end up being worth more than their face value.

Ahh thank you. That would be the plan, to keep things affordable.
I'll also look for alternative options to Amazon for a list, I guess then it's up to people where they buy a specific item from.

Good to know about Boots too.

😃

Make a list but keep it personal to you and DH. Stick it on a shared spreadsheet so you can both allocate names to people you have made suggestions to.

That way you could say "oh we haven't got X yet" without looking grabby with a public list. Then, if they gift something different, you can just remove their name from the list and allocate that suggestion to someone else or if someone buys a gift suggested to another person you'll know you have only suggested it to one person and can let them know not to buy it.

I think @GoodChat’s advice is good. To the people who asked me specifically what they could buy I just told them verbally - ‘we need a baby bath’ or whatever. Most of the time they then say, well you look online and choose the one you like and I’ll buy it. If they don’t, it’s usually fine too.
Or, ask everyone to give you a favourite children’s book. When you have your first child you don’t have those books at home yet and it’s lovely if the child has a library of best-loved and hand picked books to start them off. And means that you’ll read to them from an early age which is a lovely thing to bond and calm.

Boots vouchers are a good idea or even supermarket vouchers (tesco, asda etc) you can buy formula, nappies, wipes and so on then.

@AutumnVibes book idea seems great, I might do that instead of sharing the wishlist, which I wasn't that keen on. Can never have too many books! I really don't want to end up with lots of stuff we don't use.

I would usually think these things were a bit forward and I didn’t have one with my first baby but I’m now expecting my second and was at a baby shower for my friend (first baby) last weekend. I messaged her a month before and asked what she’d like us to get (there was a group of us from work). If I was her I’d probably have done the usual ‘oh we really don’t need anything’ and we’d probably just have wasted money on daft things but she told me a couple of practical things, I picked which to get and told her which we were getting to let her know someone else could get the others and I think it was much more worthwhile than just buying a random gift to be thrown in a cupboard. She now has something she actually wants and will use daily and we’ve not wasted our money so it’s win win. Now I’m hoping other people ask me but even family haven’t and people like my MIL are wasting so much money buying highly perfumed bath sets etc (which we got about 8 of last time and never used). It’s horrible because you obviously would never tell someone their gift wouldn’t be used but it is just a waste of their money if you don’t want/need it and they’d no doubt appreciate getting you something baby would actually use. It’s one of those things that’s a bit awkward unless people ask though!

I plan to ask for vouchers for somewhere like John Lewis or boots or mamas and papas xx

@AutumnVibes

ask everyone to give you a favourite children’s book. When you have your first child you don’t have those books at home yet and it’s lovely if the child has a library of best-loved and hand picked books to start them off

What a completely brilliant idea.

@AutumnVibes this is such a good idea and I wish I'd thought of it! OP keep the gift receipts if supplied though - we have three copies of The Gruffalo, two copies of Where's Spot, Dear Zoo in every conceivable type of publication...