Worried about my age and stress

[Alexandra84]

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. Already have two little ones under7. I’m 39, and our due date is one month after my 40th birthday.
Ive gone from feeling so happy, to the reality of worry kicking in. I worried with my previous 2, but kept kicking myself to not think negatively. It’s hard to not think negatively now when so much data suggests there is more chance of issues given my age. I am freaking out. The ideas of being this stressed for 9 months is making me feel so downhearted.
I’ve already spoken to medical staff to look to secure a dating scan, and have a CVS booked (if we need to, they advised better to be on list than miss the opportunity).
So in my head at the minute…I’m worried I’ve caused a situation that will impact on my young children. What should be a happy thing is now one of worry.
To add to my worry, I have used a beta blocker when at work twice in the last month (stressful situation, helps calm my nerves) and also have a few glasses of wine in last few weekends…my cycle is obviously not what I thought, I didn’t think we could possibly have conceive based on dates I had.
Myself and husband have gone full circle from ‘will it be a boy/girl’ to ‘should we continue this’. For context, my youngest has a significant inherited life shortening condition, and this is another test we need to look to identify. This is also booked for 10 weeks.
Thanks for reading, just needed to offload.

It’s a stressful time! Try not to wind yourself up more than is necessary. I had my first aged 39 and am 8 weeks pregnant with second, and I’ll turn 45 in a couple of weeks. Take any tests you can, when you can, and try not to worry about the outcome before then.

First of all, congratulations, it is lovely news if you can manage the worries. I had my last two (of four) at 37 and 39 - my two older children were 6 and 7. I had amniocentesis for both because they had a 1 in 4 chance of downs. I nearly didn't have the amniocentesis as I would have had the baby anyway, but my OH did want the test, and I guess if there was bad news, more talking would have had to have been done, although at the time I was adamantly not for the "talking". The consultant pointed out gently that I was being blinkered, and the risk of the test is very low. Both came back clear, and the happy thing about the test is they do know 100% what gender the baby is - I already had a boy and a girl where I had not found out, but this time I was happy to know so my older children could have something to prepare for and look forward to - and for all we have had a vey slight amount of "why am I getting lumped with her" about child 3, and "why am I putting up with him" about child 4 - they have both benefited massively from having younger siblings, and the younger ones them - it makes them into nicer people. I completely get being worried, just try and take one day at a time. You have the complication of an extra test, and that makes things hard, but if you get over that, and the amnio, then there isn't anything that you won't cope with. Whatever road you choose, allow yourself to be happy xx