Paranoid about miscarriage after previous losses

[Positive91]

Hi there
firstly I know no one can fully reassure me, but I guess I’m just looking for some success stories to lessen my anxiety. I had my daughter in 2019, fell pregnant 2018. I then had 3 chemical pregnancies, one in 2020, and 2 in 2021. We decided we were not going to try again after that. None of the pregnancies reached further than 5 weeks. They were all chemical pregnancies I believe, my hcg showed I was pregnant but never increased basically. I never had scans with these pregnancies.

however a big surprise I found out a few weeks ago I am pregnant. I will be 7 weeks tomorrow, had a scan at 5+4 which shows yolk sac and a private scan at 6+3 which showed a feral heartbeat. I have another scan Monday so I will be 7+1. I know this is the furthest I have got and I should be positive but I can’t help but think the worst. With my daughter and first pregnancy, I never thought about it at all. Just took for granted that everything would be ok. I even told people the minute I found out and I mean at like 4 weeks! I just didn’t ever think it would happen to me. However after the heartbreak of the 3 chemicals, we haven’t told anyone about this baby and won’t be until 12 weeks. I’m so so so paranoid everyday when I read about babies stopping growing at 7/8/9 weeks, I know statistically the risk drops but I just feel like I can’t be this lucky. I had convinced myself we were not having anymore after the three losses. I need to snap out of it I know because stress is not good.

I also had terrible morning sickness with my daughter from 6 weeks to 19 weeks and this pregnancy so far no morning sickness! So I’m completely paranoid. I’ve also read that morning sickness decreases chances of miscarriage, another thing to worry about not having! Wow I sound crazy!!! Who wants morning sickness 😂

is there anything at all I can do to ensure the baby grows and develops correctly? I take folic acid everyday and try to eat well and eat a lot!!

any comments appreciated. Thanks

Hiya

I am in the complete same situation, I already have a daughter then had a ectopic last year and a miscarriage March this year. I’m also currently 6 weeks and waiting for a scan at 7 weeks. I completely get how you’re feeling and I’m reading into everything as well! Comparing it to my pregnancy with my daughter thinking that this point I had this symptom why haven’t I this time? And the same as u literally wanting morning sickness just so I no everything’s ok. Also we’re not telling anyone because we’re just so scared.

my boyfriend has told me not to worry until there is something to worry about because I’m wasting my time stressing over nothing which is so true because I do wanna enjoy my pregnancy like I did first time but i guess really Im no help because I feel the same as u but I just want to give you reassurance that your not alone and your feelings are completely validated, here to talk if you need to ☺️ xx

Thank you @Bc102 - I’m sorry you are feeling the same!
I think it must be so common. Surely we can’t be that unlucky after our previous problems. Maybe your boyfriend is right, my husband says the same. I do think it’s easy to say don’t worry when you’re not a natural worrier though lol xx

I totally understand how you both feel. I've been pregnant 6 times altho only had 4 babies. I know it's hard but please don't read too much into things like morning sickness means less likely to miscarry. I had horrific morning sickness with my 1st DC and none in any of the other 5 pregnancies. I had painful boobs with my 3rd and not with any of the other pregnancies. And the positive line on the pregnancy test was barely visible with my 6th pregnancy and never grew darker (probably spent a fortune on dozens of tests!) but I had a healthy DD at the end.

Miscarrying also made me hyperfixate on symptoms until I was making myself ill but what I realised and had to remind myself of is that every pregnancy comes with its own unique set of pregnancy symptoms. Not one of mine (full term or lost) was the same.

Congratulations to you both, I hope your 7 week scans help reassure you as much as possible. Just be kind to yourselves, it is incredibly hard mentally falling pregnant after a loss

Thank you @BuffyTheBuffetSlayer and sorry to hear about your losses. Yet so pleased for you that you have 4 healthy DC. It’s good to hear that all of your pregnancies were different too. It’s definitely reassuring.
Ill be honest, I think I’ll probably end up paying for weeks scans until 12 weeks, even if I have to pay private. One scan gives me about a week of calmness. So for £40 per week, it’s probably worth it. My ultimate fear is getting to the 12 weeks scan and finding out about a missed mc. I think it’s because I’ve read so much on mums net so I’m not helping myself.
I just need to keep thinking that this is the furthest I have got other than my DD (first pregnancy) so surely that is a good sign?

thanks for your kind words ❤️

@Positive91 i know it must be! It is reassuring knowing that someone else is feeling the same and fingers crossed for both of us 🥰 let us know how your scan goes on Monday to! Xxx

@BuffyTheBuffetSlayer thank you that is so reassuring to hear, so crazy you would think your body just reacts the same each time! And thankyou xx

@Positive91 it's so hard - sounds like you're doing all the right things to look after yourself and baby, and that's all you can do. Unfortunately if you are going to miscarry you can't do anything to stop it, that's one of the things that makes it so horrible, it's completely outside of your control. I have only had one pregnancy and it was a missed miscarriage so this time I'm terrified of scans whilst simultaneously wanting scans every week so I just know if anything has happened! First scan is Thursday when I should be 7+4. I can't imagine myself with a bump let alone having a fully successful pregnancy. Just have to keep hoping I'm lucky this time xx

I had my daughter in 2017 .. started trying to conceive again 2021 .. in that time I had 5 miscarriages all around the 5 weeks mark like you.

I had tests and everything came back normal, they basically couldn't find a reason why it was happening.

I am happy to say that I am now 23 weeks pregnant and whilst at first it was worrying, I have now relaxed a bit. The only thing different with this pregnancy is that I was on cyclogest. Whether that made a difference I really dont know.

I am a firm believer in whatever it written is written. Please try not to worry and take it day as it comes. I hope this is your rainbow baby.

I just came across your post and wanted to know how your pregnancy went and if it has continued? In a very similar situation to you

Hi @Sugarspiceandeverythingnice - my pregnancy continued - I am currently 38 weeks pregnant :) good luck to you! I know how hard it is not to worry - but try to be positive. I believe in everything happens for a reason and this could be your time! Good luck xx

So happy to hear that. All the best. Hope the delivery goes as well as can be. Enjoy every moment with your precious newborn. 😍❤