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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Keeping pregnancy secret

3 replies

Pearl0876 · 23/06/2023 19:05

Just found out I'm 7 weeks pregnant, unplanned, which feels embarrassing given that I'm in my thirties. I instantly knew that I couldn't have an abortion, completely pro choice but it just doesn't feel right for me right now. The situation isn't ideal, I'm no longer with my partner, although we've been seeing each other casually for a month or so since we broke up. It's a very painful situation still. I know he won't take this pregnancy well, we had a scare last year and he reacted extremely badly, saying he'd kill himself if he had to have another child, which looking back feels like it was emotional blackmail, despite this, he has children from a previous marriage who he is a good father to. I'm considering waiting untill I'm past 12 weeks or later to tell him as I don't know if I can handle the stress of his reaction so early on but I'm not sure if this is morally wrong? I've considered that he may cut me out completely and will have no part in the babies life and I've accepted that I could be doing this completely alone and I still want to continue the pregnancy, this is in no way an attempt to trap him but I also fear he will think this. Any advice is welcome. Thank you.

OP posts:
MollysBrolly · 23/06/2023 19:11

Nothing to be embarrassed about it happen.

I lied to the father when he found out and said I wasn't as far as along as I was because of how I knew he react. but we worked together so he found out when I told everyone at 3 months. I have no regrets. He did ask if it was his and I lied he went away and I have zero regrets.
everyone's situation is different

Ged94 · 23/06/2023 19:36

Not morally wrong no, he'd probably just threaten to kill himself / say he'll not have anything to do with you/ hate you and the baby. Piece of shit.

If you know what you want to do then there is no rush to tell him because it's ultimately your decision

It's classic domestic abuse to threaten to kill yourself to get your way. It's one of the 27 questions police ask the victims in domestics as part of their risk assessment. (Domestic abuse questions, you can Google them)

daysleepers · 25/06/2023 00:29

No not morally wrong to not tell him. If you are keeping the baby, you are keeping the baby! You just don't need the pressure / bullying from this guy!

I'm sure I would do the same!

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