I'm 37 and it's been a year since my partial molar miscarriage... I just want to be pregnant.

[cg9498]

Hello all,
I have read a few posts on here but never posted anything myself, it seems like such a supportive and knowledgeable community and after a very unhelpful phone consultation with my GP I am just looking for some shared knowledge and advice.

A year ago, aged 36 I fell pregnant, it was unplanned and I was still of the mindset that I didn't really want children. But seeing my friends and two brothers have kids I decided to continue with the pregnancy. As the weeks passed I started to love being pregnant, I was nauseous and bloated and my boobs hurt sooo bad but it was also incredibly magical and exciting.
Approaching my 12wk scan date I decided to tell my family and work that I was pregnant.
At the 12 wk scan I was told the foetus had died, probably around the 9wk mark. I then had an operation to remove the matter. A few weeks later I got a call telling me they had run some test that confirmed I had had a partial molar pregnancy.

X3 months of giving urine and blood for tests later I was given the all clear to try again.

I have used clear blue digital ovulation sticks to track my cycle but with no luck, I get nothing when I should be showing fertile and then 4 - 7 days of flashing smileys, followed by nothing...empty circles... I have maybe once had a solid smiley.

A year on, aged 37 I am feeling utterly defeated and non the wiser as to what I am doing wrong. I am feeling so low and helpless with all this, every month is a whirlwind of emotion, ending in disappointment.

Is there anything else I could/should be doing to improve my chances... I so desperately want to be pregnant.

Many thanks for reading.

I'm really sorry to read about your pregnancy loss OP. That sounds so upsetting. I had a partial molar pregnancy with surgery too and it was a very frustrating and painful time. It takes a while for hormones n that to get back to normal. I really hope someone here can give you some good advice, I don't have anything useful to share but just some solidarity. If it helps I'm also in my thirties and had a successful pregnancy about a year after the surgery. Partial molars do throw your body out of whack a bit but it shouldn't be permanent. Have you been to the Dr and said you've been trying for a year? Good luck op x x

I had a complete molar pregnancy, which means it was my egg that had no dna in it. With a partial its the sperm that had none. They did tell me to wait a year before trying to let my body and hormones get back to normal. So maybe your body is still getting back in sync.

Id personally follow any trying to conceive advice you get on here and for a few more months and if nothing happens go to the doctors to get you both checked. Best getting your partners sperms quality checked out too if not successful. I hope it doesn't come to that and you conceive soon, good luck.

Thank you so much for your kind words.
I am happy to read you had a successful pregnancy after a partial molar.
May I ask, did your cycle take a long time to get back to regular after the PM?
Did you use any technology to assist with getting pregnant, ovulation sticks, temperature trending?

Thanks again for sharing, just reading about other peoples journey's reminds me to take a deep breath and tell myself there is still time. X

I've had a partial and a CMP, it was very hard. My body took a while to settle down (I'm also older than you). I'm now 35 weeks pregnant, don't lose hope.

Thank you @Lochjeda

Sorry to hear about your molar, it's such a scary thing to be told when you are incredibly vulnerable any way. For me it was also the first time I had heard of Molar and Partial Molar pregnancy, maybe my ignorance but at 12wks I hadn't even started reading my baby books.

I think I will need to phone the GP again and push a little harder for some tests.

Thank you also for explaining the difference in M and PM I didn't know that, with PM is it maybe a priority to have the sperm tested first, as it is the sperm that has no DNA?

To add- I had so many miscarriages and then with the molars, I did give up actively trying (ie tracking, ovulation sticks, temp tracking)....it just sort of happened.

Thank you @bigbillybobhowler

You give me hope! 😊

Sorry to hear about your PM and CMP, that must have been so very difficult.

But yay! 35 wks is amazing news.

Thanks for sharing with me. X

@bigbillybobhowler I think I am at that point. I have just run out of ovulation sticks and I'm thinking that I won't be buying any more...

They cost so much!

Have you tried the egg meet sperm plan? There's no massive science behind it, it's just trying to make sure you have enough sex. The reason for not conceiving is often just not having sex at the right point and if you follow the tests it can lead you astray.

Yeah, I mean I don't really know what the difference was TBH. I think I just came to terms with the fact it wasn't going to happen. It's been very hard mentally as it's taken me a long time to accept this won't end in miscarriage and even now I'm fretting about still birth, it's awful. I haven't enjoyed my pregnancy, I hate people complementing me or making 'small talk' about it, I feel quite dissociated, must be the trauma...but, I am extremely grateful, of course.

https://www.motherandbaby.com/getting-pregnant/trying-to-conceive/smep-sperm-meets-egg-plan/#

As you aren't getting positive ovulation tests you could just try se every other day. Throw enough at it something may stick

No advice, just solidarity. It's been nearly 2 years since my ectopic, and 2 more pregnancy losses later I'm still very much at square 1.

It's shit.

But, every egg is unique, and even after many losses the chances of pregnancies being successful are good. But it is shit, very shit.

@bigbillybobhowler

I did think maybe the stress of testing and monitoring wasn't helping the situation. I was going to just try to 'forget about it' a bit.

I can't imagine what your going through, the mental side of it is so exhausting and comments and attention from others sometimes only heighten that anxiety.
I have everything crossed for you. x

@fuckmyuteruslining

I love your username! Humour is desperately needed sometimes.

I found it so ironic that I tried so hard NOT to get pregnant in my 20's and now I am trying so hard TO get pregnant in my 30's... Being female is wild!

Thank you for the link for sperm meets egg, I will give it a read.

Appreciate your support. X

Thanks @RumandSpinach

I hear you!

It is shit...

Sending you love and support, all we can do is keep trying our best right.
xxx

I never got a positive on ovulation tests, lots of flashing smileys and then nothing, apparently common if you have PCOS. I had private ovulation scans instead which confirmed ovulation and made it clear I ovulated very late.

I had three pregnancies with ovulation scans (miscarriage (6 cycles to conceive), DD1 (3 cycles) and DS (1 cycle)). I then conceived DD2 on 1st cycle with no scans because by then I was pretty expert at determining ovulation. Also PCOS you tend to get more fertile the older you get.

I’d do blood tests at the GP to confirm ovulation and a sperm count for your partner but if you can afford ovulation scans id recommend, reassuring and helpful in timing particularly if your cycles aren’t regular.

Thanks for sharing @sandberry

Lots of good information for me and congratulations on 3 lovely healthy children!

Please may I ask - did you know you had PCOS before you started getting scans? If so, what were your symptoms?
After a quick Google the only symptom I can maybe see in myself is extra facial hair around my jawline (I just attributed this to getting older!)

I would like to look into ovulation scans but fear the cost would be prohibitively expensive for me.

Definitely worth a discussion with my GP though. Thank you

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. That sounds so hard.
Just wanted to ask whether you could be testing too late for ovulation? You can get empty circles when this happens because the baseline of hormones is too high at the start for the calibration reading.
I have had pregnancy losses but not a molar. I ended up getting pregnant on a cycle that I wasn't really trying for, it was so early in the cycle and I didn't think it was possible, but here we are!
So maybe don't lose hope on whether or not you're ovulating, it could be that you are but the sticks aren't showing it

I'm so sorry for your loss what a horrible experience to go through. I can kind of relate. I'm 36 tomorrow and although I am currently pregnant, I had a miscarriage in January and struggled to believe I would ever get pregnant again - and I'm not even 8 weeks yet so there's major anxiety. Its difficult for us cause my husband takes medication that reduces his fertility to some degree.

Like you, I too spent my 20s worrying about getting pregnant thinking it would be so easy! I also went through a phase of wanting children, to not wanting them, to wanting them after we got married.

All I can suggest is don't put pressure on it. I know its really hard and I hated when people said that to me but you've got to try and enjoy your life doing other things.

How does your partner feel? You could maybe also considering going for tests?

If the opks aren't working for you I'd really recommend bbt. That will tell you for certain if you are ovulating or not. If you aren't, at least you can go back to your gp with that information.
Bbt is also helpful for telling you other things about your cycle, such as whether your luteal phase is long enough, whether alcohol has an effect on your hormones, etc. Also cheaper and easier than opks.

I was not allowed to get pregnant again/ had to be tested regularly for 6 months after. I then waited a few months after that to try again. I can't remember how long it took until everything settled. I used an app to record my periods and used the 'sweet spot' as a timing indicator x

@cg9498 Sorry for all you’ve been through. I am the same age as you. I thought I wasn’t ovulating as I could never get positives on those sticks. I tried expensive and cheap ones however I did fall pregnant so I must have been ovulating. It’s very frustrating.
Since it’s gone on so long though it might be good to push for those tests at doctors just to confirm everything is ok.

Thank you 😊

@Gingerwright @ChillysWaterBottle @Strawberry06 @ThomasinaLivesHere @neverwakeasleepingbaby

I am overwhelmed by how very kind and open and honest you all are with your own experiences and with things that I can do to try and improve my chances of falling pregnant.
I appreciate everything, your honesty and your stories remind me that all the picture "perfect" pregnancy stories you see in social media are all a very small part of what is actually going on sometimes and that feels like such a weight lifted off of me, I knew it on some level, but to have so many strangers share their evidence/experiences with me is so special, thank you... and from some folk that are the same age as me! ( That was another trigger for me, 'too old' 'only getting older' each month in my head)

So I have downloaded Fertility Friend and bought a thermometer.

I will start tracking my temperature and give the sticks a break, I think they were starting to cause a wee bit of anxiety.

I think Fertility Friend also helps you with the Sperm meets Egg practice another kind contributor mentioned.

So glad I posted my story at, just shy of 1am! It was just going round and round in my head, and now I have a plan and so many votes of confidence and support.

Sorry for gushing.

Thank you

Hello again, I don't know who else to ask! I am absolutely terrified, but could this be a positive result? I'm still approx 3 days til my periods due. Appreciate some super honest feedback. Xx

@cg9498 that definitely looks like a positive to me