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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sex after miscarraige

11 replies

TheJenster · 22/02/2008 16:35

Hi
This is my first time on Mumsnet but really need some advice.
Unfortunately at my 12 week scan it revealed the baby had died, which we are slowly getting over. I had a D & C on the 12th Feb, is it safe to have sex now?
All I can seem to find out is that there is a risk of pregnancy because of the dilated cervix, are there any other complications?
Any advice would be more than welcome.

OP posts:

cece · 22/02/2008 16:45

I was told to wait 2 weeks or longer if still bleeding.

Original poster

TheJenster · 22/02/2008 16:54

Thanks for that.
I had minimal bleeding which totally stopped after about 4 days so may be OK I guess.

OP posts:

Champagneforlunch · 22/02/2008 17:09

I had surgery the day after you and was told just to wait till the bleeding stopped.
Which at the moment seems to be taking forever.

WorzselMummage · 22/02/2008 19:27

i had a d&c on the 13th after the same thing happend. i should have been 13 weeks. We resumed our normal activities a week later and we're ttc immediatly. I wasnt given any advice atall tbh i just waiting till the bleeding had stopped.

Original poster

TheJenster · 22/02/2008 19:38

Hi, Thanks so much for the messages, I really appreciate you sharing your experiences. Can I just ask, does ttc mean 'told to conceive'? This is one thing our consultant mentioned (not much else). He said (not sure if anything is proven) that there may be a higher risk of miscarraige again if you conceive immediately.
This stuff is such a maze of information (or lack of) and to top it all (not sure if you guys are experiencing this) but I keep getting bouts of spontaneous sobbing episodes. To give an idea, I had to go away for work this week, and was excited to return (very clingy with my daughter and husband), yet on the flight just burst into tears. I guess this is 'normal'?

OP posts:

WorzselMummage · 22/02/2008 19:46

Yeah it does. I spoke to my consulatnt and the nurse specialist person and they both said that i was at no higher risk of MC if we managed to get pregnant again immediatly, i doubt we will though the one we lost took a long time to conceive. They said that you cant get pregnant untill your bodys ready for it and usually they only tell you to wait to make the dating on any new pregnancy easier and to give you a chance to geieve.

The tears are completly normal and undertsandable ! you have been though a horrid thing which no-one deserves to. We all cope in different ways. I cant seem to let my emotions out, i wish i could cry i just feel a bit numb. Sure it'll catch up with me at some point. Cry is a good thing, get all the emotion out then when your ready you can move on. I guess the worst thing you can do is bottle it up.

You probably still have some HCG floating around in your body and that makes you more emotional, i know i'm still getting positive pregnancy tests

It's really shit though isnt it

cece · 22/02/2008 19:52

Perfectly normal to cry.

ttc is trying to concieve

Original poster

TheJenster · 22/02/2008 20:10

I'm an absolute pessimist and involved in Biology based stuff by trade (so know the reality of why it 'could' go wrong and tried not to get too excited) yet when someone says 'this is not what we want to see' its soooooooo crap. Something you cant prepare for.
I hope you, as I, will be back here in the future, feeling crappy with morning sickness and going to bed at 9pm exhausted.
I hang on to that old adage 'it all happens for a reason'......

OP posts:

WorzselMummage · 22/02/2008 20:12

absolutly and it sounds as if we've both been blessed with beautiful children already

everything does happen for a reason, i just wish i'd stop happening to me !

Unfitmother · 22/02/2008 20:16

Hi, sorry to hear your news.
I'm afraid I can't remember exactly I was told but seem to remember something about not ttc until after next period.

HelenCS · 24/02/2008 20:24

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your loss

I went throught the same thing last november at my 10 week scan i was told the baby had died at about 7 weeks and i had a d & c the same afternoon ( friday)- for me the bleeding stopped by saturday night so lasted less than 24 hours and me and my partner had sex again that night. I supppose i found it easy to just get on with it as i had problems from the beginning of the pregnancy, constant bleeding etc even tho at a 6 week scan i was told everything was fine and not to worry. But i was prepared for the worst and the best way for me was to start trying straight away. I didnt get a period for 5 weeks and i too was still bringing up tests as positive.

But now im 9 weeks pregnant again and this time the pregnancy has had no problems at all. It has taken less then 2 months for me to conceive again so im sure it will happen again for you

good luck xx

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