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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant Social Services

19 replies

NoahS7730 · 21/06/2023 18:27

Hi everyone, I really need some advice. I have a 2 year old son who had social services involved with him due to his dad being abusive toward me. I cut all contact with him and he doesn’t see my son at all. I went on a night out a couple of months ago and was really drunk and ended up seeing his dad and went home with him… anyway i’m pregnant and it’s his child. I’m stressing out so much I don’t know what to do. If I had have been sober I would’ve never been near him. Should I just get an abortion? Should I tell social services what happened? I’m scared that they’ll take my son away. Can someone help please I am so worried about everything!

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 21/06/2023 18:29

You should tell them, yes.
If you don't and they find out it will be far worse.

Original poster
NoahS7730 · 21/06/2023 18:31

They haven’t been involved in our lives for over a year now. Do you think if I tell them about what happened and decide to keep the baby that they’ll get involved again or try and take my son away from me? i’m so scared. If this is the case I would rather have an abortion

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 21/06/2023 18:31

Obviously if you choose to not proceed with the pregnancy there will be no baby to protect so no real need to say anything as long as you are confident you will not allow this man back into your existing child's life

Hoppinggreen · 21/06/2023 18:31

It’s your choice but in your shoes I would probably terminate and not need to have either the ex or SS involved in your life.
And don’t do it again

JeandeServiette · 21/06/2023 18:31

If it were me, in those circumstances, I'd have the abortion, keep quiet and never, ever see that man again.

Keeping the baby is going to risk further SS action.

JeandeServiette · 21/06/2023 18:32

NoahS7730 · 21/06/2023 18:31

They haven’t been involved in our lives for over a year now. Do you think if I tell them about what happened and decide to keep the baby that they’ll get involved again or try and take my son away from me? i’m so scared. If this is the case I would rather have an abortion

I think it will set off red flags.

AuntMarch · 21/06/2023 18:34

They wouldn't take your son away that easily, but they likely would become involved again as they'd have fair reason to doubt that he hasn't been around.

IncompleteSenten · 21/06/2023 18:34

Xpost.
I don't know.
I don't think anyone on here can answer that with any certainty but ime SS don't want to take children from a parent unless they have tried absolutely everything and the parent is simply not putting their child first.

It really doesn't sound like you are one of those parents.

They will be concerned. Of course they will. They will want to feel confident that you will protect your child and not go back to this man but they won't want to swoop in and take your children unless they have genuine reason to believe you cannot keep them safe.

KarmaIsMyBF · 21/06/2023 18:34

If you have the abortion you probably won't need to tell them however you were very silly.

I'm sorry to say I would also terminate the pregnancy and never see the man again.

I wouldn't risk having SS involved with my existing child.

enjoyingscience · 21/06/2023 18:34

in your shoes I would terminate and move far away so avoid ever running into him again.

JeandeServiette · 21/06/2023 18:40

Maybe also looking at your drinking? Not to be judgmental about a fun night out, but no amount of booze would persuade me to sleep with my arsehole ex (the nice exes might be a different story).

Itisalwayspossibletobekind · 21/06/2023 21:04

Hello OP, was this pregnancy the result of a one off drunken one night stand? Or has there been more to your contact with your abusive ex?

Original poster
NoahS7730 · 21/06/2023 21:12

It was a one off I don’t have any contact with him at all

OP posts:
Original poster
NoahS7730 · 21/06/2023 21:13

It was a one off I don’t have any contact with him at all

OP posts:
BeverlyHa · 21/06/2023 21:15

AuntMarch · Today 18:34
They wouldn't take your son away that easily, but they likely would become involved again as they'd have fair reason to doubt that he hasn't been around.

.....

yes, oh my goodness girl, you got pregnant from the same man who SS tried to save you from. You know it does not sounds good at all

Whiskeypowers · 21/06/2023 21:42

Is he not allowed to see his child or does he just not chose to?
in any event this will be of concern. In the surface it snows you have poor boundaries and have not taken the basis for their original involvement seriously enough. For all they know this pregnancy could be the result of a relationship that has been revived

Stickybackplasticbear · 21/06/2023 21:47

Honestly I'd terminate. You don't want or need anymore ties to this man.

Calzonepizza · 21/06/2023 21:49

Sorry but something doesn’t stack up, you weren’t in contact but must have decided to get in contact on that particular night? I would imagine that SS would come to the conclusion that you’re being dishonest about whether you’re still seeing him but just trying to hide the fact

Original poster
NoahS7730 · 21/06/2023 22:11

Hi everyone, thank you for all your replies. I think it’s definitely the best decision for me to terminate. It’s not nice but I have to think of my son and I dont want to risk any SS involvement again. Also just want to clarify, I didn’t have any contact with him, he was in the same bar as me and we were both drunk. I know very silly of me to do what I done and I did go a bit wild as it was my first night out since I gave birth to my son. It’s done now and I have to make the right decision but you have all helped me so I appreciate that 🙏

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