Anyone out there suffered from pre-natal depression or similar

[seaturtle]

I'm a bit of a lurker on these pages, as I don't have regular internet access. But I find the site very reassuring.

I'm wondering if anyone else seriously thought they were going insane during their pregnancy. This was an unplanned baby, but I'm genuinely looking forward to being a mum. However I've hard my dark days, even to the point of feeling overwhelmed and sometimes suicidal, strangely lonely. And this is despite having heaps of lovely friends. Never told anyone till last week. I told a friend who confided she felt like this during two of her four pregnancies. She had the guts to tell her GP back then. I really wanted to tell my midwife two weeks ago, but I was afraid she might think I wasn't able to cope and they'd consider me a liability and put the socail services on me! I'm not so bad these days, propbably because I've let my close friends know how I've been feeling and I don't feel so isolated. I felt so pathetic, because I'm usually quite independant, but I've never felt so needy in my life!

i have felt really crappy the last few weeks and rung my MW today. They will not get SS on to you!!

Mine is seeing me extra appts & helping me out - relaxtion exercises; antenatal group info; and she said i could go on meds if i wanted but i don't.

Please ring her - she will only help.

I plan to ring midwife. According to my friend they've heard it before and are probably wondering why I 'appear' to be coping so well. Good thing is my sense of humour seems to be returning. So I can laugh at when I asked a close friend whose had problems before, if I was behaving like a woman from a psychiatric ward!

oh they have definitely heard it all before. Hope you get some help

Hi Seaturtle
Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I have had a milder form of this during the mid trimester, though feeling much better now. I also felt better for having a) reaslised it and b) telling some close friends and family. However I echo scorpio1 because you MW will have come across this before and point you in the right direction for further help/coping suggestions. I saw a midwife at the hospital with specialism in mental health and it was a relief to know it is very common (not talked about much though is it? it's all an emphasis on Postnatal Depression). One does not necessarily lead to the other but there's no doubt it made me feel worse to think it would! Don't worry, if you can't be a bit 'needy' right now, then there's something wrong in the world!
All the best.

Hi seaturtle. You are not alone I am struggling a lot at the mo, and trying to remember that I felt like this with no.2 until 10 weeks or so and that a lot of it must have been those early hormones. When I spoke to m/w about it at booking-in, she suggested some counselling from one of their mental health nurses and was completely understanding. It is tremendously unsettling being pg to start with, and everything turns on it's head.
There is a risk that antenatal depression can progress to PND if left untreated - the risk is higher, so it's best to seek some help now if you still feel you need it. You're doing the sensible thing by just admitting it and speaking to friends about it. Just a few extra chats might help you feel better about it all, talking about what you're overwhelmed by etc.
Now I must go and do something myself about my state, I haven't even reported my pg as I'm still in denial about it!

I don't have pre natal depression as such as I have been suffering with depression since 2000 but I am pregnant.

Talk to your MW/GP/and anyone else you can. There is a lot of support out there for you.

Like you my baby was not exactly planned but I am over the moon about it normally. But I have panicky moments about coping once the baby is born and whether I am being too much of a hypochondriac (sp) about all the aches, pains and general rundowedness (def not a legit word!) I am feeling.

I am currently 23+3 and see my MW every 3 weeks to check up on me, see my GP at least once a month, see a CPN every couple of weeks, I also have a consultant at the hospital and a consultant psychiatrist.

Today I returned to work after having 6 months on LTS due to depression etc and have had to explain over and over again why my MW/Consultant/CPN appointments are so frequent as one of the girls I worked with has just had her baby and hers were not as frequent.

The best thing is to talk to people, I have learnt the hard way that bottling it up is no good. If you want to talk some more I can let you have my email address

Sorry didn't mean to have such a long post

HH

I am so sorry you are feeling bad.
I am experiencing this a little at the moment as I am about 7 weeks - but I know that it passed last time by 12 weeks and this is helping me to get some perspective.

Talk to your midwife - like the others have said, she will have encountered this before and will not think the worse of you.

Best of luck, hope you feel better soon.

I've had it with both pregnancies from first into second trimesters (both wanted pregnancies- one after trying for many months)...exactly the same both times- like a wave of depression that I couldn't shake. Really struggled to get out of bed somedays and it felt incredibly difficult to feel positive about the pregnancy.
Both times, it suddenly lifted (lasted around 8 weeks I think) and I started feeling fine. It's been easier with this pregnancy (34 weeks now) as I knew to expect it and how long it would last etc...I told everyone as well this time, instead of feeling so ashamed) It really is hormonal but if you feel it getting out of hand, definitely tell your mid-wife and/or GP. I didn't get postnatal depression after DDs birth either so it doesn't necessarily mean you will. It's very common- I read it's just as common as postnatal but goes unreported. x

Dear all,

I don't suffer from pre-natal depression but I do have anxiety which got very bad a few weeks ago. I have been told the reasons are pretty similar (although in my case I think it might have been Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by two ectopic pregnancies in the past. I am now 26 weeks plus 3 days after an IVF cycle and I am really excited). I do understand how awful you are feeling. I don't know if remedies to help sleep might help? I have discovered that I am far more likely to feel tense and anxious after a bad night's sleep. I have developed relaxation techniques over a few weeks that have helped enormously and I feel much better. My midwife has also said that good sleep is one preventative measure for post natal depression.
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Best of luck

You lot sound like you've really been though it. My heart goes out to you. All I wanted to say really is that I have felt NEEDY with a capital N all though my pregnancy. Wanting to call my mum alot and generally attaching myself to my poor partner/cat/friends for cuddles all the time.

Also I tend to cry alot now. It feels silly because the little voice at the back of my head says I am being way too emotional, especially considering I rarely used to cry and I was quite independant.
(35 weeks pg at the moment)

I don't think mines a serious case, but I hoped letting you know you're not alone might help.
Best of luck and hugs for you seaturtle.
xxx

My area has a mental health midwife, who is trained to deal with mums to be who feel like you. You're not alone, you're really not.

It takes lots of courage to talk about this at a midwife appointment, especially when they're so keen on filling out their forms, but you'll feel so much better if you can just spit it out. Doesn't matter if it comes out in a rush - just better if you tell them.

You have to be a lot more than depressed before they consider informing social services.

Not read the whole thread, but I re-discovered this thread yesterday and thought it might be of use to some people here.

I didn't have antenatal depression (though I thought I did for a while) but I was miserable during pregnancy, and like you felt so needy and isecure. There is such a lot of pressure to enjoy it, and not everyone is honest about how they feel. I think the most important thing is that you are honest about how you feel to those closest to you so they can support you.

Like hedgehog1979 I he ad depression since about 2000, after a break in in 2006 I became a lot worse and unable to work This was a very unplanned pregnancy I turned 40 last year and had given up on ever having children but it was a very welcome surprise. Because as the psyc services say I am articulate, educated (I was a nurse for 16 years) and have spent time to find out coping mechanisms, the psyc services have quite honestly been pointless. What they do not seem to appreciate is I can put on a fairly good front I did that as a nurse every day I worked. Doing it to doctors is no problem at all and although I know loads of coping strategies when I am bad I can hardly put my knickers on and about all I can cope with is curling up in bed all these wonderful ways I have to cope every day go right out of the window

My midwife and my GP on the other hand has been fantastic. I had a really bad 2 weeks and she had me in for a long appointment last week it is the first time I have admitted to anyone that when really emotional/stressed I cut my wrists (not deep just enough to hurt) sounds odd and it is not ideal or to be recommended but it seems to put this emotional state into something physical which I can then handle. I hate my self afterwards and have only done it twice while pregnant (it was a lot more frequent before I was pregnant)

Anyway as the others have said talk to your Midwife it really can help This site was actually one my Midwife suggested last week "as well as depression-in-pregnancy" you are certainly not alone it's as common as PND although not as well diagnosed

Perhaps its more common than it appears then. I just thought i was weird. In my last pg I was blooming and enjoyed it... this one has been just as easy but the situations and lifestyle surrounding it are totally different and i end up having days when i just think "i dont want this baby" i dont really mean it i think its the hormones and the fear of coping with 2 children on my own once the next one is born. All i know is that i hope it passes once i have the baby as i dont like feeling like this. Have been put on iron tablets too which seem to be helping my energy levels and thus helping my moods. I think its important that we all talk about it tho and not keep it bottled up. We all have this site for support if we dont feel able to talk to people around us about things

Just thought i would add that chocolate is not very good for depression and can make it worse... banannas and pineapple on the otherhand are supposed to be very good. Yellow food are generally good for lifting moods, sadly this doesnt include lemon bon bons, yellow gummy bears or fizzy fish what a pitty!

Hi seaturtle

I too suffered from prenatal depression and as you probably have gathered considering the number of posts it is 1)not uncommon 2)nothing to be ashamed of.

When I was expecting DD1 I went to see my midwife about it, she was great at listening and advised me to go and see a GP. The first GP I saw was a horrible woman, she basically thought I was begging for drugs (don't know where she had this one from) told me off massively in a very nasty way and added that I was carrying a healthy baby and that I had nothing about it before. She also referred to a previous episode of depression and basically said it was all my fault, that I should have thought about it and should never have had a baby . When I told my husband (who was waiting in the reception area, he went ballistic and had a massive pop at that doctor. With insight I should probably have reported her.

After that I went to see another GP and a counsellor which helped a lot. Also the midwives kept a close eye on me after the birth as I was more likely to get post natal depression.

This time round I was referred to a consultant (useless but that is another story), but at least i don't beat myself about it. I haven't suffered from it too much this time, but at least I know the symptoms.

Please do yourself a favour and talk to you midwife, and if she is not understanding, talk to someone else. I hope you feel better soon

Seaturtle you are certainly not alone. Antenatal depression does exist and I think is an indicator for possible postnatal depression. Having had PND, I really recommend you mention this to your midwife/GP and get some help now. Hugs..

I can empathise with a lot of the comments on here and felt a need to post a comment also just for solidarity and probably to kind of admit to myself that I am not a complete freak feeling like this too.

Do many of you find that if you try to broach the subject, a lot of people (not that I have tried to tell A LOT of people but the few I have started to try to talk to) tend to get a bit annoyed as if you are being selfish for feeling like this. I have been told by quite a few people that "As long as the baby is healthy" and "Oh, it will pass. You're just a bit weepy today" or "count your blessings... Many people are unable to have children and you are moaning about being pregnant" and totally miss the point?

That actually makes me feel worse cos then I think, well I do have a roof over my head, a lovely man to look after me and the baby, for all I know a healthy baby growing inside me so yes, I do "count my blessings" but it doesn't actually change the way my mind has decided it wants me to actually feel.

I also have a few terrifying moments of "I don't want to do this now. I have changed my mind" and feel trapped and scared thinking "what the hell have I done?!?" but then it kinda passes and I don't really mean it cos I would just die if anything bad happened to the LO.

I haven't told MW cos they do always seem so busy and distracted. I was so down I didn't go to any of my antenatal classes or breastfeeding workshop cos I couldn't face meeting new people and talking babies again but I am too embarrassed to tell anyone so just said I went to the classes. As a result, I know nothing of what went on in the classes, didn't get a tour of the labour ward/suite and don't have a birth plan. I just feel so pathetic and hopeless.

I am going to check out the links and want to thank you all for posting cos I know there must be other women like me reading all this but too embarrassed to actually post because you do feel so guilty for feeling like this...

Hope we all get through it

I had antenatal depression with dc2 and actually took all the guts I had to seek help but when i did about30 weeks I got lots of help from the gp mainly and never had PND so its def worth getting help

thinking of you

I had severe PND after ds 1 and we (hubbie, psychologist and me) think I was depressed during the pregnancy in fact my midwife told me she though I needed to go to baby shops to 'get more involved with this pregnancy' I was not excited at all, in fact I seem to shut out any idea that I was prgt at all -hence the comment from the midwife. I fully believe not addressing how I felt (baby was unplanned and not at the right time at all, hubbie was made redundant and we were living in a flat that my father had decided to sell rendering us homeless!) contributed to the depression in which I just wanted my old life back and my baby taken away.

It's good you know what your feeling isn't right, that's the first step to getting better I think. I would go back to the drs and really try to impress on them what your feeling, your thoughts etc. Write them down if you don't think you can voice them or you're afraid you'll say 'I'm fine' when they ask.

My 2nd pregnancy I was given an implant on the same day I delivered (cyclogest(?) pessary) this is a hormonal implant given for the first three days after delivery and it is supposed to regulate your hormones so you don't get the 3rd day dip. It can help those susceptible to PND (or thought to be) my psychologist suggested it and I think it did help.

hi.

i had AND with ds1,but it wasnt recognised then and i got no help,just went slowly insane.i dont know what i was like with dd1,theres only 11 months between the 2 of them and i dont even remember being pregnant with dd1,or most of her first year.

i was actually diagnosed with AND when i was expecting ds2.i had councelling with a psychiatric nurse which helped a bit.when i was pregnant with dd2 things were quite difficult for me,but i knew that how i was feeling wasnt just stress or circumstances.i wanted the baby but i didnt want to be pregnant.i think i may have done something silly at one point if i hadnt had 3 others to look after.i was attending a 'support' group for mothers with PND at the time and the woman who ran it kept saying i should consider my 'options'.
i had councelling but it didnt help much.i ended up seeing my gp when i was 20 weeks and she prescribed ad's,which started to help after about 4 weeks.they just took the dark cloud away,though,i still couldnt wait to have the baby.

as soon as i had her i was fine.

i didnt expect to get depressed with dd3,as i was in a supportive relationship and she was my first planned baby,but at just 6 weeks i turned into a freak.i was totally paranoid that dh(then dp) was going to leave me,and was upto stuff behind my back.i even banned him from watching any film rated more than 12 in case it had any nudity,as i felt so fat and ugly and needy i thought he would be looking at other women all the time.looking back i was the same whne pregnant with ds1,but xp's way of dealing with me was to beat the crap out of me

i found MN when i was 10 weeks with dd3,and it helped so much(there will be plenty of my paranoid,obsessive rants lurking in the archives).i also went back on ad's at 12 weeks which also helped.the depression carried on this time,though,and i am only just coming out of the other side of it(dd3 is 1 next month).

i had my fair share of comments during my pregnancies,about being selfish and ungreatful.but i think pregnancy was the trigger every time ive been depressed in the last 10 years.

i was never threatened with ss intervention,i must add.most of the hcp's i encountered were understanding and supportive and tried to help.

Paranoid1stTimer I was told by the Psyc doctor to stop worrying and enjoy the pregnancy

Hi everyone. Thank you for sharing your experiences. This is my first time 'back' on the site since I posted.

I have been speaking to people about this, and it has helped. My midwife has been on holiday, but I'm seeing her tomorrow, determined not to just say, "Yes, everything's fine."

Can really identify with a lot of what's been said here. I've had people say, "It's OK, you're pregnant and hormonal, and it's part of being a woman." Great to know I'm being a 'normal woman' but it still doesn't make it better, does it!

Have another friend who had a much planned first baby last year, and a very supportive husband; but she said even with that she had a really hard time sometimes.

Hi, just wanted to recommend the link on Bumperlicious' post (first page of this thread)