I have just found out I am pregnant, should I accept new job offer and change jobs?

[Freya1991]

I am an in-house lawyer, I have been trying to get pregnant for quite some time and I have been unhappy in my current job for about a year, but I have stayed thinking I would be pregnant soon. I finally decided to just apply elsewhere as nothing was happening, and accepted a job at a much bigger company with a better salary and after accepting I found out that I am pregnant.
I am overjoyed, but now very torn about whether to stay in current role or move. I am worried it will be very stressful to get up to speed in a new job, just to be leaving 6-7 months later for maternity leave. The job works out as £5k better off per year (if I count pension and salary increase). I would not qualify for maternity pay but it is something I could perhaps negotiate.

In my current role I have control over my own workload, it is varied and I know the job well by now. I have laid a good foundation with the company. It has a very good work life balance. The frustrations recently have mainly come from unprofessionalism/ personalities and people leaving. In the new role I would be going into a much bigger legal team and focusing on reviewing one type of contract, I may have to work longer hours and I know there will be a greater volume of work tight deadlines.

Would you leave a job that you know and are ok with (that is very manageable), knowing that you have 8 months left until you are off for maternity leave, or would you go to the new job? I am also considering child spacing, because of my age I would like to conceive again shortly after returning to work and then would be off again. Is that a big deal or would it make it very hard to ever get up to speed in my new role? When you are a new mum, do your priorities towards career change? Is the most important thing something that is manageable that you are able to juggle with being a mother, or do you still want a challenging demanding job?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am agonising over this decision. Thanks in advance.

Yes my priorities have changed unbelievably! A job you know well sounds perfect. In my view women don't talk about how hard it is going back after maternity leave- its really hard, you get no breaks in your week, you are sleep deprived. Avoiding new job with tight deadlines at this point sounds wise. congrats on your pregnancy ;-)

The missing piece of information - does your current role have enhanced mat pay, are you eligible for it and is it any good? If it is good I'd be Inclined to stay with the current role so I could really enjoy my precious mat leave without the financial pressures.

Re priorities yes mine changed too. I'm in a project based role, but I only work my contracted hours and I don't think about work in between. A more demanding role with tight deadlines would make this difficult. Especially at the start, when the toddler starts nursery it often disrupts sleep and causes illness etc.

I don't envy you OP it's a tough decision

I'd stay put. It would be very stressful to put energy into new job and although it's totally wrong, they may not take as much time to settle you in if they know you are just about to go off. You'll not get mat leave and that could be a lot more than £5k depending on your package. The main reason would be for when you come back, you'll find it hard enough with a manageable job and if you wanted any flexibility over hours etc is much easier to do where they know you.

It's tricky because you hate your job. I think I'd go forward with the new job.

Bear in mind that, although the law should be on your side, this will be a vulnerable time in your career - do you have any contacts or way of getting the inside scoop on how pregnant women / women with small children are treated in the new company?

Worst case scenario is that you get no mat pay, they're difficult in their obligations to give you time off for appointments, they decide you're not pulling your weight as a new hire in a full-on role and they (illegally) manage you out. Or they could be great.

If my understanding is right that you've only applied for this new job because you're unhappy in your current job, rather than it being an absolute dream job, then I'd stay put. You have job security where you are, you know what your workload is and like you say it's manageable and your workload and hours will increase in this new role. With the addition of trying to learn the new job too. Being pregnant can be incredibly exhausting, and learning the ropes in a new job is also incredibly exhausting. Both together could potentially really be a problem in your day to day.
Unless it was a dream job, I would say why put yourself through the upheaval of changing now.
Im sure if you're honest with the new employer and explain that you're not moving because of your current circumstances and wouldn't want to then have to leave the role so soon for mat leave, but you'd love the opportunity to work with them in the future, then maybe that door will be left open for you.
I think practically you have to go with the pros and cons. Are you so unhappy in your current role that you couldn't bare to stay another 8 months? If not, then it's definitely worth considering sticking where you are. You have up to a years mat leave to then look for another role anyway should that still be your desire.
Congratulations on your baby news and good luck with your decision 🤞🏻

Thanks so much for your advice! 🙏

I would stay out in your shoes x

Sorry I meant stay put **

Hello @Freya1991

Congratulations on your new job and pregnancy!

Slightly different view from me than some of the other posters.
I was in a similar situation. My old job was fine and easy enough but wasn’t going anywhere. I put off looking for another job as we were trying for a baby. After 1 year a good job came along and I decided I couldn’t put my life on hold any longer. After the interviews I found out I was pregnant, and I accepted the job knowing I was. I had a 3 month notice period so have started the new job for only 3 months before I go on maternity leave.

Some things to think about:

• If you’ve not already resigned yet check the qualifying date (15 weeks before due date) and if you are still in employment then with your old company they still have to pay you SMP even if you leave. I delayed resigning for 2 weeks and with my 3 month notice period met this criteria. (Although if you said 6/7 months in your new job this probably wouldn’t work for you)
• As others have said - does your current company have enhanced maternity pay which would make it a better idea to stay (mine only offered SMP). But also here - if the new company offers better maternity pay even though you won’t be eligible for it this time, you mentioned you wanted another child in which case you would be eligible for the second
• You can’t take SPL if you move jobs as you won’t meet the criteria
• As you said, you may be able to negotiate some maternity pay with your new job. My new job has given me a discretionary payment which is really helpful
• I’ve been in my new job for 2 months now (Senior Finance Manager). It’s definitely not ideal to be leaving in 1 month, but I do feel like I’ve got up to speed fairly quickly and I’ve been able to do some good work in this time
• For me it boiled down to which job could I see myself coming back to after maternity leave. I have no regrets and am very happy not to be going back to my old company, and having a lot more opportunities with the new one in the future. It’s a difficult decision for you with the new one being potentially more stressful/ longer hours though.

Best of luck with whatever you decide x

I think I’d stay in the current job. Eight months isn’t that long. Knowing it’s be easy to come back to would be good. A lot can change in the year (or whatever) that you’re off so it could be those personalities are away by the time you return?

If you go down that route, Im wondering if you could tell HR at the new job that you’re pregnant and would therefore like to postpone their job offer until later, so they can get someone else in that post now, ie could they consider you for a future vacancy, ie in a years time-ish. Knowing they have already interviewed you and you could be slotted in without them having to advertise or interview again in the future?

It would save them time and money to have you on the reserve list for the future and they could be agreeable to that.

That way you can return to your old easy job and see if it fits in with your new lifestyle or go to the new job if the old job is no use?

You can always knock the new job back if they offer you it next year so you’re keeping your options open?