Visitors

[LovelyNanny26]

Hello I'm due on the 29th of June and my parents already announced they want to come over end of July.My husband thinks is too early.I'm not in the mood for visitors so early as well and type of birth abd recovery I'm going to have.Secondly I don't get on with my parents at all and I don't want the extra pressure especially when I'm trying to breastfeed and look after the toddler at the same time.

Then say no, that you won't be up to changing beds, cleaning, cooking etc. That having any visitors just adds to your stress levels. Make it clear the same applies to all relatives.

Instead suggest a day when they are welcome to visit, and send them details of a local hotel.

If you don't want them to stay then tell them. Just say it would be lovely to see them for a day but you won't be hosting. And ask them that perhaps they come for lunch and bring it with them so you don't need to be worrying about cooking etc.

If you don't get on with them at all you need to stand strong here. You need to look out for you.

If you're not ready to have that conversation, just tell them you'll need to see how you feel after baby is here.

Thanks but they live abroad which means they want to stay at my house but I don't have the space.It's 2 bed ex council house.We want to move but raising interest rates put a stop to to that.Masive premier Inn not far from my house but they don't like the idea.

Where do they think they are going to sleep? Ridiculous people. Be firm and say there's no room

Tell them not to book flights now as you don't know when baby will be here, but after the baby arrives, you'll be sure to let them know when you feel up for visitors. Then send a list of links to local hotels/bnbs

I’d personally insist they stay elsewhere but can visit for limited periods. At least the visit is over with then. But also suggest they postpone a bit, in case baby is later

Doesn’t matter whether they like the idea (of the travelogde) or not. There is simply no room for them. If you feel unable to say no, let your DH contact them

@LovelyNanny26 they don’t have to like the idea of staying in a hotel. It’s just tough shit.

Explain whilst you are happy to spend ‘some’ time with them you will also be getting yourself, baby and toddler into a routine whilst still recovering so won’t be around every day.

if they don’t like it tough. You are an adult with your own life. Set your boundaries with them. Tell them the boundaries and enforce the boundaries. To the point that if they become too much and keep ignoring boundaries I’d be running off to a hotel yourself for a day or two so they can’t find you.

what’s the worst that can happen if you stick to your boundaries and say no? They won’t like you, won’t visit you or won’t speak to you? I’m not exactly seeing how that’s a bad thing.

good luck.

You need to give them two choices wait another month or stay in a hotel.

If there is no room in your house then all the more reason for them to stay at a hotel. They won't want to be on the sofa for more than 1 night and they probably won't enjoy being woken by the baby multiple times overnight.

I really think you will need to put your foot down about it otherwise their visit really could ruin those first few weeks with your newborn.