Prenatal Anxiety/depression

[OnMyJourney]

Hello, I just need to know if anyone has had the same experience as me? I am so excited to be pregnant, we tried for so long to have a baby, it took us about 4 years, 2 very early miscarriages, 3 chemical pregnancies and finally we are 17 weeks pregnant with this baby girl, I have so much love for her and so does my partner, we are both excited. I just feel like I'm living in fear, I'm terrified something bad will happen, we have bought so much for this baby all the clothes, nappies, wipes, books and the cot the pram have been ordered to come the end of the month, I just live in such a huge fear that something will happen and I'll have all this baby stuff laying around, it genuinely scares me, it's not a normal level of stress. I also have this fear of being alone, my partner went out with his friends tonight which he hasn't done in a really long time, he deserves to go out and have a good time, but when he told me he was staying out and coming home tomorrow I sobbed at the fact he wasn't going to be in bed with me, I want him here so badly! But I want him to go out and have a good time! I know if I said how I was feeling he'd come home but I want him to stay out and have a good time with his buddies, I don't want to ruin it for my selfish reasons of me being sad and clingy, I also have work in the morning so I won't see him until like 5pm tomorrow which makes me upset! I just don't want to be alone I want my partner here, I'm absolutely dreading going to work (this is normal I hate my job lol) and I just want to know if my baby is okay, my next scan is on the 8th and that just seems too far away, does anyone get me or am I being crazy? 😅😭

I had really bad pre-natal anxiety too! I worried about a million things! I think the pregnancy hormones in my case definitely made everything worse. Part of me also felt bad for not enjoying it which can make you feel worse and can be a vicious cycle. However, when I look back I now see that it was far more important that I was growing my daughter no matter how I felt. Can you ask your GP for a therapy referral?

@PixellatedPixie my midwife has said that I always have help available should I need it, I just find that for me therapy doesn't do anything, I find it hard to open up to people I don't know, I feel like if I knew my baby was okay then I would feel okay, I've been considering getting one of the at home Dopplers but I think if I can't find the heartbeat I'd have a meltdown, i just need to feel her kick and I feel this will all go away 😅

For about the first 20 weeks of pregnancy I suffered with crippling anxiety, mainly about the baby and whether I had miscarried. It was constant - honestly I felt like I was possessed. I wasn’t myself at all, I was a different person and I barely even remember it other then being told about things I said or did. It’s not something that is talked about enough but antenatal anxiety is absolutely a thing!

OP I'm 32wks and my anxiety has been amplified throughout. I've found it really hard to have baby things in the house and have been doing it a bit at a time. Pram & cot will not cross the door here until baby is safe in my arms. Please ask to be referred to the PNMHT for support. I find it hard to open up to people too however I reframed it as not being support for me only but also for baby. I found PANDAS very useful too their WhatsApp messaging service has reassured me on numerous occasions and been able to stop the spiral 🌀. I also see my MW weekly for appointments, can ring them or daycare and also have twice weekly monitoring now for reassurance due to not having a movement pattern even though they all go on about movement and pattern😫 💖

Hello @OnMyJourney, I'm also 17 weeks pregnant so at the exact same stage as you and I'm suffering from anxiety around making sure baby is OK. After each scan or doppler check I feel so relieved for a short period but then go back to the concern that baby isn't ok again. Ive also found using phrases like "if everything goes ok", "hopefully by November". My partner also works two nights per week so can sympathise about being alone too. Please message if you want to chat.

I didn’t but it’s more common than PND. Please talk to your midwife.

I have 3 weeks to go and have just started with preparing 😬 But I do worry about DCs heath

Anxiety is awful isn’t it. Ask for help OP, you don’t have to feel this way. Tell your therapist your past experiences of therapy and they’ll be able to try different approaches. It may work this time.

I was exactly the same, the anxiety developed into prenatal OCD and I got so paranoid. Felt I had to do xyz or something bad would happen to baby.. I also ended up plagued with nightmares 😭 I really didn't enjoy the pregnancy 😅 at points my partner thought I was having a breakdown, as my fears made me slightly delusional. I would get a thought or stresser in my head, which I would then ruminate on for days on end, it would turn into this big awful thing that could happen due to xyz and I'd end up hyperventilating and crying myself to sleep.

I had miscarriages previously too and I think this was why i became like this. I think if I'd never experienced loss and was of the assumption I'd have a normal pregnancy I don't think the fears would of been quite so intense. I'm much better now though, I still am highly strung with fears of her getting poorly and a lot of anxiety, but I think it's slowly levelling out to the average nervous first time mum x

I went under perinatal mental health team. I didn't get therapy, but I did get professionals who understood the correlation between pregnancy fears and mental health/illness. I would get an allocated worker I could call and speak to throughout the whole process. I was offered medication but declined. It was super helpful, as I was worried they'd automatically think I was ill but I knew it was all fear for my baby. They understood all of that and they must of worked with mums in our situation previously.